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I live to eat... a sad and pathetic statement (Read 839 times)


Samurai in Training

    My Father was recently diagnosed with a degenerative spine thing. They don't know all the details yet and as the firm up the diagnoses and how to manage the pain that is associated with it, the Dr. mentioned some things that he can do.  One of them was lose weight... again.  To which my Father responded "I have to decide if I want to do that.  I live to eat."

     

    I've always believed that people make their own lifestyle choices and have to live with them.  Stupid people die in stupid ways, ignorant people do ignorant things and it all ultimately leads to the survival of our species.  So, this is his choice, I get that.  However, I have say... what the fuck?

     

    "I live to eat?"  Really?  Is that huge steak dinner the reason he wants to make it through the day?  Does the ice-cream give him purpose?  Purpose for what?  Has he come to think so little of himself that his life is weighed in Twinkies?

     

    Sorry, personal rant over.  I think I will re-examine my own lifestyle choices as of late.  I have some work to do. 


    Mmmmm...beer

      For some people, that statement is absolutely true, food rules their lives.  I was obese, but never had that kind of a relationship with food, I was just lazy and ate too much.  Fixed both of those problems and here I am down 85lbs and in the best shape of my life.  But it's a little tougher for people that have a true addiction to food, they usually require a lil more than just waking up one day and deciding to change their lives, which is where counseling, bariatric surgery and other tools come into play. 

       

      Hope your Dad can find the strength to make the right choices and improve his health. 

      -Dave

       

      2014 Goals | sub-19 5k done! | sub-40 10k | sub-1:25 HM | BQ done! | sub-3 M

        I live with similar feelings all the time.  I, honestly, have a pretty decent metabolism.  However, I *love* eating.  I got up to ~230 lbs before I started running.

         

        I'm in the 160s now.  However, I can really easily run 80-90 miles a week...and gain weight the whole time if I'm not careful.  

         

        It's entirely the wrong attitude, but I love the extra calories I can consume without guilt when running high mileage.

         

        In other words, I can relate.  I've been counting calories for two years, but it's a very, very hard thing to break.  I have gotten good about eating almost exclusively healthy foods, but I straight up do not experience satiation/satisfaction from the quantities I can eat and not gain weight.

         

        My point: I eat healthy and watch my weight because my desired lifestyle (i.e., amateur athlete) requires it.  If it's truly an addiction, there has to be a more powerful desire (such as a lifestyle change) that overwhelms it.

         

        My 0.02.  

        "When a person trains once, nothing happens. When a person forces himself to do a thing a hundred or a thousand times, then he certainly has developed in more ways than physical. Is it raining? That doesn't matter. Am I tired? That doesn't matter, either. Then willpower will be no problem." 
        Emil Zatopek

        Elmer123


          Thanks for sharing.

            People say food is the substance to cope with stress and depression. Perhaps there is a deeper issue rather than just eating food alone.

            5k - 20:56 (09/12), 7k - 28:40 (11/12), 10k trial - 43:08  (03/13), 42:05 (05/13), FM - 3:09:28 (05/13), HM - 1:28:20 (05/14)


            Samurai in Training

              I've lost a great deal of weight in the past and have become very lazy the last 6 months or so.  I've been putting it back on.  Like Dave used to be, it is because I have been lazy.  I also understand the comfort that comes with food although I don't believe I'm willing to suffer excruciating pain for it.

               

              David, I believe you are correct.  This does point to some deeper issues.  It is so darn frustrating watching these types of things from the outside though.  I believe he has so much to give to the world but for him to be willing to compare his worth... well, really, let something like food be he his master is just so sad.  

                I can't say I "live to eat", but I certainly enjoy some great meals and junk food as well.  What I have found is that the running burns off enough calories so that my weit stays nice and in check.  If the weight did become an issue with me, I'd have no problem shifting to healthier eating if needed.

                 

                My father is the exact opposite of me in 101 ways, and that "Live to eat" thing is strong in him.  He is about 230 pounds, and has several health issues related to his weight.  He seems like your father in that he will do 0 working out, and 0 change to intake in order to get in better shape!  He spends most of his time whining about how unhealthy he is, and seems to be seeking sympathy most of the time.  I can't stand it.  I suggest that he needs to do some walking in order to start to get things back in check, but he shoots down the idea and makes an excuse when I am only 4 words into the sentence.  

                 

                Long story short, he probably has 10 to 15 years to live, perhaps even less if a cardiac or other serious issue comes up, and seems relegated to whining about his worsening state and doing absolutely nothing to change it!   "He will say "I need to stop smoking" as he lights one up, and he will whine about his cholestorol level while "getting his full money's worth" at the Shoney's breakfast buffet.

                 

                I don't get it. 

                 

                I think all you can do is not let it affect you personally!  At least as much as possible.  You have done everything you can and ultimately it is the other person's decision.  Eddie, you say you have been getting a tad lazy lately, come on man, time to kick it up a notch :-)  (Maybe sign up for a spring race and begin a little bit of training through the winter?)

                The Plan (big parts)→  /// April:  Hampton, VA 24 Hour Run for Cancer (PR 80 Miles) ///  Nov:  New York Marathon  ///  Dec:  Seashore State Park 50K  ///  ∞


                Needs more cowbell!

                  My mom is 68 and has a host of health problems that would be greatly improved by being active...yet she has every excuse in the book why she "can't."  She won't even take walks because it's boring.  We've offered to get her an iPod and audiobooks for entertainment, but then her excuse is that she doesn't have a computer (because she believes she is too old to learn to use one, which has contributed to her being unable to find employment after being laid-off).

                   

                  My siblings and I pretty much throw up our hands and use our mom as a cautionary tale.  None of us want to follow in those footsteps.

                  I shoot pretty things! ~

                  '14 Goals:

                  • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

                  • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

                    Many people won't change until they hit the very bottom. My father used to smoke a lot. He wouldn't take any suggestion. He said he was too addictive to it to quit. Then his health was in danger and had to have a surgery. After that, he quit completely.

                    5k - 20:56 (09/12), 7k - 28:40 (11/12), 10k trial - 43:08  (03/13), 42:05 (05/13), FM - 3:09:28 (05/13), HM - 1:28:20 (05/14)


                    Needs more cowbell!

                      Many people won't change until they hit the very bottom. My father used to smoke a lot. He wouldn't take any suggestion. He said he was too addictive to it to quit. Then his health was in danger and had to have a surgery. After that, he quit completely.

                       

                      My dad had a stroke on Easter a few years back...while at my sister's house.  Being hauled away in an ambulance while his grandsons watched in terror was a real wake-up.  He's not smoked a cigarette since.

                      I shoot pretty things! ~

                      '14 Goals:

                      • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

                      • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

                        Quote from zoom-zoom on 12/20/2012 at 10:35 AM:

                        "My dad had a stroke on Easter a few years back...while at my sister's house.  Being hauled away in an ambulance while his grandsons watched in terror was a real wake-up.  He's not smoked a cigarette since."

                         

                           Amazing how different people react in different ways to the "hit the bottom" event.

                           

                               --Grandfather had a heart attack in 1970's with open heart surgery, he still has the same pack of Camels with 3 cigs left in it to this day. Has not smoked one time since!

                               --Father is falling apart healthwise, absolutely refuses to make a change and getting worse.

                               --Stepbrother was DUI driving and rolled his car several times + was in ICU for weeks.  The day he got out of the hospital, he was drunk again that very night.

                               --Is best to be "proactive" vice reactive with these kinds of life decisions, especially considering that some people's rock bottom           coincides with the time they are placed 6 feet under, but for the folks who do hit their rock bottom and survive, can only be as supportive           as possible to help them to a new path.  If they don't change, there is no reason to feel guilt or burden about it.  You did all you could and           everyone is inevitably responsible for their own decisions.

                                      

                        The Plan (big parts)→  /// April:  Hampton, VA 24 Hour Run for Cancer (PR 80 Miles) ///  Nov:  New York Marathon  ///  Dec:  Seashore State Park 50K  ///  ∞


                        Samurai in Training

                          Many people won't change until they hit the very bottom. My father used to smoke a lot. He wouldn't take any suggestion. He said he was too addictive to it to quit. Then his health was in danger and had to have a surgery. After that, he quit completely.

                           

                          The same guy I'm bitching about quit cold turkey 40 years ago when my older sister said all she wanted for her Birthday was her Daddy for one of her grown up birthdays.  She then asked him to quit smoking.  This guy has actually done some really amazing things... so frustrating.

                           

                          I've tried to help in every way possible too.  Like you Kirsten, we keep trying to find way to motivate him.  We have done it all too.  iPods, Nike Fuelband, weight watchers (how he lost weight the first time).  It just goes to prove that you cant change others, they have to want to change.


                          A Saucy Wench

                            Does your dad consider himself old?    Age is kind of irrelevant in that question, my dad thought he was old in his 50's, my mom just turned 80 and still occasionally makes plans for things that are 20 years in the future.  She doesnt see herself as old.

                             

                            Because if your dad considers himself old, he may well and truly have given up already and "why take away the one joy I have left" attitude is not uncommon. 

                             

                            Sorry.  It is hard when your parent starts aging badly and isnt fighting for it. 

                             

                            (although I did have a battle royale eventually with the nursing home when with stage IV cancer and alzheimers they wanted my dad to stick to his diabetes diet.  Fortunately Hospice intervened. )

                            I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets

                             

                            "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7


                            jules2

                              We have no choice about arriving here and ultimately we will all leave no matter how much we "look after ourselves"

                               

                              What we do in the gap between is partly our choice and partly luck and genetics.

                               

                              Can we say someone who has a shorter life because of eating too much wasted their chance unlike someone who is train spotter?

                               

                              i know people in their 20's who to me live like vegetables and completely fritter their lives away but it's their call.

                               

                              No doubt they would think I'm wasting my time as I am just heading out for a run in the pitch dark in pouring cold rainCool

                               

                              It very frustrating when someone close is not looking after themselves but all you can do is try but at the end of the day it's their call and you can't feel guilty about it.

                               

                              Quality v Quantity?

                              Old age is when you move from illegal to prescribed drugs.


                              sugnim

                                I'm sorry to hear that.  I know it is hard to have a parent who does not make good decisions about their health.

                                 

                                I think food addictions can be as real & difficult as other addictions.  I have an older friend who has an addiction to food.  She is constantly in the hospital because of her inability to say no to brownies, sweet coffee drinks, etc.  Sometimes on Fridays, she will purposely eat multiple pieces of cake because she hopes that being sick from it will not interfere with work since she will have the weekend to be sick.  I've asked her if cake is worth being sick for several days, and she always responds, "yes," in a tone that makes it sounds as though I am asking the stupidest question imaginable.

                                 

                                The only thing I can say is that you cannot make decisions for your father.  You can only make decisions for yourself.  Sometimes our frustration with other people's choices comes from our wish that we could make better decisions for them, and from a lack of feeling of control.  At least, that is how it is for me.  I hope you can make peace with your father, and I'm glad to know that you are making better personal decisions for your own health.

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