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Malicious fecal distribution (Read 312 times)

MJ5


Chief Unicorn Officer

    Obviously as a runner I understand that sometimes nature calls at an inconvenient time, but it still doesn't give you license to just crap anywhere. I'd be mad, too, if it was my property. If I think I might have issues, I either plan a route where I know there are public restrooms or porta-potties on the way, or I take my work key for the college I coach at which will get me into a number of buildings on campus that have facilities.

    Mile 5:49 - 5K 19:58 - 10K 43:06 - HM 1:36:54

    Arimathea


    Tessa

      Interesting name for the offense, however, defecating and leaving the waste where it fell is a public health issue. It's also disgusting and inconsiderate. Yes, we've all been caught short on occasion, but I think most of us have made an effort either to find a bathroom or portajohn or at least to bury the evidence. If she knows she has to empty her boewls at about the same point on every run, why not plan the run so that she's going by an establishment with an open bathroom (park, library, restaurant, gas station, mall, supermarket, hospital, hotel...) or do a loop around her neighbourhood and stop at home before going on a course that doesn't have any facilities, or even carry a plastic bag and some TP and dispose of it in a trash can?

       

      The homeowner has every right to be annoyed, especially if this is happening on a regular basis. (There's a bad joke in there somewhere. Go ahead and make it.)


      just a simple cat

        Heck, if it is that chronic of a problem, she should look into those NASA diapers.

         

        Running is stupid

          Heck, if it is that chronic of a problem, she should look into those NASA diapers.

           

          But then she would have to deal with diaper rash.  What would she tell her co-workers when she couldn't sit still?

            My leg won't stop mooing.

             

            i think i've got a calf injury.

              Heck, if it is that chronic of a problem, she should look into those NASA diapers.

               

              We run around with Nike and Adidas logos; it would be awesome if we could put our babies in NASA-branded diapers.  And adults, in cases of pooping perpetrators.

              Well at least someone here is making relevance to the subject.

                If I was the homeowner I might be inclined to play some pranks on her.

                Some ideas:

                - Hide in the alley in a gorilla costume and pop out when she makes the turn and scare the shit out of her.

                - Put out a bucket with a "Poop Here" sign.

                - Set up some bleachers and have a crowd waiting to cheer her on when she makes her visit.

                - Make a chalk drawing of a toilet on her favorite wall.

                - Put out a "Don't forget to wipe" sign or "Runner's must wash hands" sign.

                - Fill the alley with plops of dog poop so she can think she started a trend.

                - Leave a roll of toilet paper and some magazines out for her.

                - Get a picture of her and put it on some flyers that say "WANTED for Malicious Fecal Distribution". Post them around town.

                 

                Anyone else have some good prank ideas?

                 

                This is great, really great! Hilarious!

                jimmyb


                  It all starts with snot rockets.

                  Don't even launch your first one.

                  You could end up in an alley like this woman.

                  Log    PRs

                  C-R


                    It all starts with snot rockets.

                    Don't even launch your first one.

                    You could end up in an alley like this woman.

                     

                    I never thought of snot rockets as a gateway fluid release issue. I may have to rethink my strategies.

                     

                    The gorilla suit is really good.

                     

                    Perhaps following along and learning their residence at which time a paper bag with their poop on fire on the porch with a sign Returned To Sender (after the doorbell ring of course)


                    "He conquers who endures" - Persius
                    "Every workout should have a purpose. Every purpose should link back to achieving a training objective." - Spaniel

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                    sugnim

                      I wonder if she is lurking, reading this thread.

                        I wonder if she is lurking, reading this thread.

                         

                        Nah.  Only RWOL users poop behind houses.

                        The Plan (big parts)→  /// April:  Hampton, VA 24 Hour Run for Cancer (PR 80 Miles) ///  Nov:  New York Marathon  ///  Dec:  Seashore State Park 50K  ///  ∞

                        JLongRC


                          If I was the homeowner I might be inclined to play some pranks on her.

                          Some ideas:

                          - Hide in the alley in a gorilla costume and pop out when she makes the turn and scare the shit out of her.

                          - Put out a bucket with a "Poop Here" sign.

                          - Set up some bleachers and have a crowd waiting to cheer her on when she makes her visit.

                          - Make a chalk drawing of a toilet on her favorite wall.

                          - Put out a "Don't forget to wipe" sign or "Runner's must wash hands" sign.

                          - Fill the alley with plops of dog poop so she can think she started a trend.

                          - Leave a roll of toilet paper and some magazines out for her.

                          - Get a picture of her and put it on some flyers that say "WANTED for Malicious Fecal Distribution". Post them around town.

                           

                          Anyone else have some good prank ideas?

                           

                          Too late!

                             

                            I never thought of snot rockets as a gateway fluid release issue. I may have to rethink my strategies.

                             

                            The gorilla suit is really good.

                             

                            Perhaps following along and learning their residence at which time a paper bag with their poop on fire on the porch with a sign Returned To Sender (after the doorbell ring of course)

                             

                            I love the Return to Sender flaming poop bag idea! Giver her a smell of her own medicine that she can clean up. Though I also feel like if I was the homeowner and learned her address I would be very tempted to do some revenge pooping.

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                              I love the Return to Sender flaming poop bag idea! Giver her a smell of her own medicine that she can clean up. Though I also feel like if I was the homeowner and learned her address I would be very tempted to do some revenge pooping.

                               

                              I think I'd rather just pop out and soak her down with a high-pressure hose. Or some blue dye.

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