RD's with a sense of humor (Read 1544 times)

Some comments a stinky RD I know has sent in emails to his runners before last year's race:

 

- You cannot actually train for this race.  Don't even try.  It is futile.  But running is stupid groovy, so don't stop now.

- Dallas once said, "if the runners want fluid on course, they should pray for rain".  Dallas is a wise man.

 

- No, I have no idea what the weather will be.  There is a distinct possibility that we will have some.  Who really knows, though.  Especially here in September. [race is in November]

- I suspect that there are a few of you out there that have found wisdom over the past weeks and months of jogging around, pretending to train for this thing.

 

- We will not have automatic text messaging of your splits from this race, to be sent to friends and family everywhere.  We will not have finish line videos streaming over the web, indexed with your bib number.  We will not have cheer squads along the way, with a competition for best spirit and costume.  We will not have pace groups.

 

- We will NOT be using racing chips, B-Tags, D-Tags or anything else like that. Your timing chip/strip will not be on the back of your bib number.  If you DO find a timing strip there, DO remove the timing strip, DO crumple or fold your number, DO remove the tear tag from your bib, DO cover the number, and go find the race you should be running.

 

- Less than 5 weeks remain.  If training would help, and it won't, you should possibly consider starting.

Tyler Durden for a race director.  Awesome.

From the Dances with Dirt instructions on what to bring for the (aptly named) Devil's Lake ultra.

ULTRAS

• A big box of baby wipes - great for cleaning up in between runs and much better than toilet paper (or leaves!) if nature calls.
• A BIG thank you for the splendid volunteers.
• A crew person with dry socks and food (while the race aid stops had food last year, It seemed to come up a little bit short of the serious food that ultra runners may want).
• A first aid kit with blister pads, Band-Aids, icy-hot type ointment, insect repellent, ace-bandages, instant ice packs, etc.
• A Good compass. They'll need it after the locals move the course markings.
• A map of the area if your crew is directionally challenged.
• A sense of humor (the relay people go lots faster - get used to the idea of having rabbits run past you).
• A sharp eye to see all the ribbons (the run takes longer when you're lost).
• Appropriate medication -- poison ivy block; ace bandages; various levels of pain pills.
• At least 2 and probably 3 pairs of shoes.
• Cellular phone.
• Band-Aids and antiseptic spray.
• Bandanna (for head/wipe sweat/cuts/anything at all!).
• Body glide.
• Bug spray.
• Camera, I got some of the greatest shots at last years DWD. I feel that if you are going to be working your butt off like you are you should have proof of it for posterity.
• Carry a course map in your fanny pack. Carrying a map gives you something to refer to, besides another lost runner, after you've realized you're lost.
• Carry two bottles of sports drink/water at all times, and drink regularly.
• Detailed county road maps.
• Electrolyte capsules if it's hot.
• Encourage a runner who's struggling. Especially if it's you.
• Extra clothes, socks and shoes.
• Extra copies of the maps. One to pin to yourself in case you get lost and someone finds you.
• Flashlight.
• Fresh fruit, candy, snacks, sport drink and lots of water.
• Gear drop bag.
• Gloves if it's cold.
• GU.
• Hats can be nice on some of the rougher terrain routes. Lower your head & crash through the briars. Also, protection from the sun.
• Ivy-Block (prevents getting poison ivy).
• Plastic bags for the smelly spent running gear after use.
• Power Bars.
• Plenty of fluids.
• Rain/foul weather gear (although not needed).
• Signed Event Waiver
• Solarcaine (to relieve pain of minor scratches).
• Sunglasses.
• Sun block lotion (helps keep you cooler in the sun).
• Toilet paper.
• Towel for a swim and shower afterwards.
• Vaseline.
• Water, Water, Water (for rehydrating and for cleaning up the scrapes resulting from the inevitable chin-digger).

From the Medoc Trail Marathon rules:

1) We do not allow dogs, skates, bikes or baby joggers on the race course. Well. . .actually, you can wear skates if you want to, because we would love to see someone try it.

In Anchorage, we were reminded at the start that "Moose and Bears Have the Right of Way".

Duplicate post, sorry.

Today at the Mississippi 50k, about a quarter mile from the first aid station, was the sign, "Marlboro Reds and water just ahead".