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RD's with a sense of humor (Read 1544 times)

    In the section of the website about "unofficial aid stations"....

     

    "So, if you DO decide to take a big swig of whatever the crazy old guy in the bathrobe and bunny slippers is serving from his front porch, you do so at your own risk. 

    Then do me a big favour and tell my Dad to please go back in the house and put some clothes on…he’s embarrassing Mom."

     

    http://runqcm.com/volunteers_aid_stations/aid_station_faq#arethereanyunofficialaidstations

    "Don't feel like running today...suck it up and run ...you're an athlete." (John Stanton, founder & owner of The Running Room)

     

    "The person who starts the race is not the same person who finishes the race."

    mab411


    Proboscis Colossus

      Some comments a stinky RD I know has sent in emails to his runners before last year's race:

       

      - You cannot actually train for this race.  Don't even try.  It is futile.  But running is stupid groovy, so don't stop now.

      - Dallas once said, "if the runners want fluid on course, they should pray for rain".  Dallas is a wise man.

       

      - No, I have no idea what the weather will be.  There is a distinct possibility that we will have some.  Who really knows, though.  Especially here in September. [race is in November]


      - I suspect that there are a few of you out there that have found wisdom over the past weeks and months of jogging around, pretending to train for this thing.

       

      - We will not have automatic text messaging of your splits from this race, to be sent to friends and family everywhere.  We will not have finish line videos streaming over the web, indexed with your bib number.  We will not have cheer squads along the way, with a competition for best spirit and costume.  We will not have pace groups.

       

      - We will NOT be using racing chips, B-Tags, D-Tags or anything else like that. Your timing chip/strip will not be on the back of your bib number.  If you DO find a timing strip there, DO remove the timing strip, DO crumple or fold your number, DO remove the tear tag from your bib, DO cover the number, and go find the race you should be running.

       

      - Less than 5 weeks remain.  If training would help, and it won't, you should possibly consider starting.

       

      Tyler Durden for a race director.  Awesome.

      "God guides us on our journey, but careful with those feet." - David Lee Roth, of all people


      sugnim

        From the Snow Joke Half Marathon website:

        "Wear your number on your front - do not wear it on your back. This is a footrace, not a rodeo.  [. . .]  If you finish without either your number visible on your front or a chip, you will not receive an Official Time, and we will expend no effort to deal with your unrelenting stupidity."

         

        Also, this gem:

        "Between 6 and 10 miles is the “Charlie Cheetah Preserve.” You and the rest of your tribe are running over the Serengeti Plain, which is so bright and shimmering under the hot African sun it appears white as snow. You are effortlessly rounding up cheetahs at full sprint and herding them to your village corrals because, well, because you can. All you need is a little endorphin and a really twisted imagination."

         

        I can't wait to herd cheetahs in the snowy Montana winter at Seeley Lake!

        Arimathea


        Tessa

          From the Dances with Dirt instructions on what to bring for the (aptly named) Devil's Lake ultra.

          ULTRAS

          • A big box of baby wipes - great for cleaning up in between runs and much better than toilet paper (or leaves!) if nature calls.
          • A BIG thank you for the splendid volunteers.
          • A crew person with dry socks and food (while the race aid stops had food last year, It seemed to come up a little bit short of the serious food that ultra runners may want).
          • A first aid kit with blister pads, Band-Aids, icy-hot type ointment, insect repellent, ace-bandages, instant ice packs, etc.
          • A Good compass. They'll need it after the locals move the course markings.
          • A map of the area if your crew is directionally challenged.
          • A sense of humor (the relay people go lots faster - get used to the idea of having rabbits run past you).
          • A sharp eye to see all the ribbons (the run takes longer when you're lost).
          • Appropriate medication -- poison ivy block; ace bandages; various levels of pain pills.
          • At least 2 and probably 3 pairs of shoes.
          • Cellular phone.
          • Band-Aids and antiseptic spray.
          • Bandanna (for head/wipe sweat/cuts/anything at all!).
          • Body glide.
          • Bug spray.
          • Camera, I got some of the greatest shots at last years DWD. I feel that if you are going to be working your butt off like you are you should have proof of it for posterity.
          • Carry a course map in your fanny pack. Carrying a map gives you something to refer to, besides another lost runner, after you've realized you're lost.
          • Carry two bottles of sports drink/water at all times, and drink regularly.
          • Detailed county road maps.
          • Electrolyte capsules if it's hot.
          • Encourage a runner who's struggling. Especially if it's you.
          • Extra clothes, socks and shoes.
          • Extra copies of the maps. One to pin to yourself in case you get lost and someone finds you.
          • Flashlight.
          • Fresh fruit, candy, snacks, sport drink and lots of water.
          • Gear drop bag.
          • Gloves if it's cold.
          • GU.
          • Hats can be nice on some of the rougher terrain routes. Lower your head & crash through the briars. Also, protection from the sun.
          • Ivy-Block (prevents getting poison ivy).
          • Plastic bags for the smelly spent running gear after use.
          • Power Bars.
          • Plenty of fluids.
          • Rain/foul weather gear (although not needed).
          • Signed Event Waiver
          • Solarcaine (to relieve pain of minor scratches).
          • Sunglasses.
          • Sun block lotion (helps keep you cooler in the sun).
          • Toilet paper.
          • Towel for a swim and shower afterwards.
          • Vaseline.
          • Water, Water, Water (for rehydrating and for cleaning up the scrapes resulting from the inevitable chin-digger).

           

          Arimathea


          Tessa

            And also from DWD, this one from Green Swamp, Florida:

             

            Trail crosses roads and a small portion is run on the road shoulder, so use common road running etiquette, cars won’t stop for you and you can’t stop ‘em.

            Runner100


              From the Medoc Trail Marathon rules:

               

              1) We do not allow dogs, skates, bikes or baby joggers on the race course. Well. . .actually, you can wear skates if you want to, because we would love to see someone try it.

              Better I Leave


                I had to sign a "death waiver" for every Tough Mudder event I've ran in.


                Ultra Cowboy

                  In Anchorage, we were reminded at the start that "Moose and Bears Have the Right of Way".

                  Looking for a reason to run...

                  mab411


                  Proboscis Colossus

                    Daniel Tosh put on a marathon recently...sort of...

                     

                    Warning: his sense of humor is...well, if you're sensitive about people having a laugh at our expense, you might want to forgo clicking that link.  But I lol'ed.

                    "God guides us on our journey, but careful with those feet." - David Lee Roth, of all people

                    mab411


                    Proboscis Colossus

                      Duplicate post, sorry.

                      "God guides us on our journey, but careful with those feet." - David Lee Roth, of all people


                      Interval Junkie --Nobby

                        Daniel Tosh put on a marathon recently...sort of...

                         

                        Warning: his sense of humor is...well, if you're sensitive about people having a laugh at our expense, you might want to forgo clicking that link.  But I lol'ed.

                         

                        Been a long time since I heard a laugh-track.

                         

                        Would have been fun to darkhorse that race.  The winning time was only 2:41.  (of course, I looked like it was 90F, so who knows if that's actually fast).

                        2014 Goals:  sub-3 Marathon 

                        Current Status 06/19: Pelvic stress-fracture = 6-weeks of no running.


                        A Sweetheart

                          Today at the Mississippi 50k, about a quarter mile from the first aid station, was the sign, "Marlboro Reds and water just ahead".

                          I want to do it because I want to do it.  -Amelia Earhart


                          Interval Junkie --Nobby

                            A friend of mine constantly talks about RDing a Smoker's Marathon.  To qualify you need to be a pack-a-day smoker.

                            2014 Goals:  sub-3 Marathon 

                            Current Status 06/19: Pelvic stress-fracture = 6-weeks of no running.

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