Does Tragedy Affect Your Running? (Read 738 times)

 I can't run if I'm too distraught about something.  I can't run if I'm too sad or mad so I have to clear it out.  If I can't, I won't be able to run.  I didn't think about the Connecticut  tragedy at all during my run on the day it happened, not once.  It was in my thoughts for most of that day and the days afterwards... but not during my runs. 

Hopefully I won't think about it during my run today.

I usually don't let the news affect my running, but running with Friday's massacre fresh in my mind would have been difficult.  It was close to home (about an hour from me) and brought 'WTF' to a whole new level.  I did 15 miles Friday morning and found out about it when I got back to the car.  The rest of my day was ruined and I didn't eat much, and the weekend was definitely a downer.  I ran 7 miles yesterday just fine, but I had this event on my mind the entire time.   

I am not a mindless robot when I run.  Emotional and psychological influences do play a role for me.  I react much better to positive influences.

Running is therapy for me. 

That pretty much sums it up for me. I've leaned on the roads and trails for many personal issues. Not that the answers came during the run but it allowed for time and space for reflection.  Tragedy doesn't effect my running but my running effects my handling of the issues in my life.

I was in California getting ready to run the Disney 1/2 when I learned of my Grandmother's death. Her passing didn't come as a surprise, she had suffered for the last month or so in the hospital / nursing home. It was a roller coaster ride. My Father told me to win the race for 'Gram'. That wasn't going to happen ; ) but I understood his meaning. I awoke race day not even caring if I ran or not. If not for my girlfriend I would not have gotten out of bed. The race started and I was ambivalent at first. Somewhere into the first mile I looked to the sky and spoke to my Grandmother, cried a little and continued to run. The running was cathartic, gave me an outlet for the emotional pain. On occasion I will run from my home to her grave and visit with her.... always an emotional journey. 

Training is therapy for me as well, but sometimes I feel like I need more therapy than a good swim, a good bike ride, or a good run can provide ...

A couple of years ago, the ringbearer from my wedding died in a car crash involving a dear.  I was married 19 years ago, and he was 21 years old when he died. 

A couple hours after I found out about the accident, I went swimming, and that swim was the type of swim that was unlike any other (before or after).  That swim lane at that specific pool has become my memory lane, and I use that lane to pray and process life and life's challenges.

Earlier this year, I dedicated the swim portion of a triathlon to his memory, and told his mom and dad (my cousins) about my secret and how much I think of him through my training.

LJF

Levi-Strong.

I was at the gym this past Friday at lunch time, and was running on the treadmill reading information regarding this past situation.  I have children, and yet, I have not internalized the horror of that event to my life.  Although it's far from my home, it's near, but it's not yet deep in my head. 

Truth is, I don't want this event to be too deep in my head.  I've been crippled in the past with tragedy (my personal family situation regarding my child's birth, as well as  9/11/01) that has taken a long time to heal, and I do not want to be crippled often. 

Brian