>Off the Beaten Path>I really embarrassed myself...
I was one of those parents, the one you see on the sidelines screaming at their kid during a sport. In my defense (what little defense I have). My daughter BEGGED me to sign her up for soccer. She's very, very good at soccer. Then when it comes time for the games, she sits there and does nothing. Doesn't go after the ball, walks around the field in circles, chases butterflies, etc. It is so frustrating. I know that she's only 7 years old. At practice she begs and begs to play during the game, then she won't play. I don't know what to do to encourage her. These sports are expensive and where we live if you don't start at 6-7-8 years old, when you get to high school, you don't get to play. Heck, they start drafting players at 8 years old. Baseball, football, and cheerleading are even more competitive.
Half: 1:48 (March 3rd, 2013)
Full: 4:05:40 (March 17th, 2013)
Sub-4:00 hour Marathon
Sub- 125 poundsSub- 1:45 hour half.
old woman w/hobby
Start by not screaming. There is no defense. She's 7 for crying out loud.
Seven year olds will chase butterflies, stare at the sky, look for ants and do cartwheels.
This is fun for her. Children develop at different times. Some at 7 will be ready to be serious
little soccer players most will not.
Relax. Let her enjoy her time on the field. And maybe you should sit back and enjoy.
There aren't many things more fun than watching the young ones on the soccer field.
"Just stop fucking drinking too much and being fat. Pretty simple. Who the hell cares if you like beer.
We can't always do the things we like all the time." --Candice
Of relevance to this and another thread.
The Logic of Long Distance
Part of it is the old adage, You can lead a hourse to water but you can't make him drink.
My son is 19 now but I remember watching him making piles of dirt during baseball games when he was about 7.
I grew up around large families and am the oldest of 5 myself. We learned how to play unorganized competitve team sports pretty early in life. It followed me all thru high school and even into the service. If I had a throwing arm I'd still be playing today.
Youth sports today are out of control...around here anyway. If you aren't playing for a highly competive traveling league by the time you are 13 chances are you won't be playing in High School. This goes for soccer, baseball, football and volleyball.
In my day we played in jeans and a t-shirt with our sponser on it. (baseball...there wasn't any soccer then). Today the kids are out there in complete gear that rivals the majors. I get the protective equipment but really, do they need $40 underarmor shirts and oakly sun glasses?
$250 baseball bats for peat sake...What does a 13 year old need to be swing a bat like that for? Top of line $100 football cleats...really?
Back to your question though. From my experience, a kid who is interested in watching the game is the one most likely the one interested in playing the game. I can relate this to my baseball...I would listen and watch baseball daily with my Dad and Grandpa. I loved wathing the semi pro leagues we have here in Iowa...The families with highly succesful athletes around here tend to come from households where sports are a big part of the family.
I think in time a lightbulb will go off for her. If she's good and wants to be out there she just needs to experience a little success during a match...or a lambasting from a couple of team mates. Seemed to work for me. Although today that's probably bullying.
walks around the field in circles, chases butterflies, etc.
That's a bad thing? I'd prefer to do that instead of intervals sometimes, but I can't because I'm an adult and have to be super-serious and responsible and angsty and add another bar to my log and flush my sense of self worth down the toilet if I fail at my hobby sport.
*Sigh* I wish I were 7.
50,000 Miles Later
No more marathons
Take deep breaths and remind yourself that this soccor nonsense is only to get/keep them in shape for what really matters. Cross Country and Track and Field.
As to soccer at least, there is always debate about whether the highly competitive travel teams actually produce really good players. I wouldn't get too far ahead of yourself thinking about high school, college, and scholarships at 7. It's probably more likely that kids who have the chance to really enjoy sports are going to keep trying to play for longer. Concentrate on your daughter having a good time
Jodi ... You've gotten some good advice. I can very much relate to your experience. I've coached my son in baseball and football for approximately the last eight years (he's 12 now). In general, I'm a very laid back person, but I've caught myself a few times placing too much on my son's shoulders. I would get frustrated in that he would sometimes not share my enthusiasm for whatever we were working on at the time. I learned that it's okay to push at times, but you need to know when it's best to back off. I've apologized more than once!
Let your daughter have fun. If she develops a love for sport, she will stay with it. There will be plenty of time when she's older to up the intensity.
Finally, step back and enjoy these years. Great memories for both of you await!
I know I'm wrong every level. I already apologized to my daughter. I'm mortified. The problem is she complains about not playing or not playing the position she wants to. We have tried to explain to her that she needs to try her hardest.
Jodi ... I just remembered. When my son was about your daughter's age, my wife wanted to provide him with extra motivation to be active in a soccer game. She promised $1 for every goal he scored. The little dude scored 8 goals ... and every time, after scoring, he would run by, look at us, and hold up one finger ... then two ... then three ... all the way to eight!
She is motivated by money, going to try that! Thanks!
My mom used to give me a dollar for every A on my 6 weeks report card. I graduated as valedictorian. Sometimes it works.
Live the Adventure. Enjoy the Journey. Be Kind. Have Faith!
I have a 19 year old son that I've made mistakes with as a parent as well
When he was 5, we started racing go-karts (quartermidgets, actually) because he was unable to play team sports due to a physical disability. We bonded through the practices, and the time we spent together.
On occasion, though, during the 1st couple of years my frustration was evident while I was watching the races as well as when we met up with him after the race. There were times when I took things too far as it relates to my expectations of my son and he felt zapped.
One of the key things I learned through sports was to coach when its your time to coach, and to parent when it's your time to parent. With Go-Kart racing, I couldn't talk to him while he was racing or driving slowly before the races or during caution laps. All of my coaching was "what if" scenarios and strategies that were discussed while the engine was off.
FWIW, today, he's probably one of the most knowledgeable sports strategists I know. He's currently doing an internship for an arena football team with a desire to work in the industry in a couple of years.
(Related to soccer.... talk to her about soccer at home, in the car, in the back yard, as much as she wants to and as much as you have find time to. Discuss "7 year old soccer player" strategy and when she can do here or there. When at the game, be the cheerleader! You'll love it! Maybe, she'll love it!)
#1: Do what I can do. <DOING>
#2: sub 5:40 @ 1/2 Ironman (Benton Harbor, MI)
This is one thing we can do for motivation, in fact this could apply also for studies, I know some parents who will buy or give a certain amount of money if their children can score perfect or at can give a high score.
we should prioritize our health and body. my site