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Is there a Marathon Users Group on here? (Read 918 times)


HobbyJogger & HobbyRacer

    I think it is a fine thing to do -- as long as, of course, you both like the idea.

     

    Perhaps a test of how it feels would be to run a long run with her, with the last 5mi or so at her goal MP or faster -- enough so she is working pretty hard -- to have the experience of her running on tired out legs and you alongside.

    It's a 5k. It hurt like hell...then I tried to pick it up. The end.


    Feeling the growl again

       

      What I'm thinking is that it would be great for us to run my first marathon together and I would like to try to help her break the 4:30 mark. If I was going to run by myself I would think I could get somewhere in the 4:00 range and would spend a lot of time and effort working toward that and stressing about it. I'm thinking if I just focused on helping her break 4:30 and we ran the race together at what I think would be an easy pace for me it would lead to a more enjoyable time for me and maybe be a big help having someone running with her the entire race to help her break 4:30.

      She was working full time and coaching back when she ran her marathons and now she is a stay at home mom and our son has just started school this year so I think she will have more time than ever to train and could have a really good shot at it. She's 42 so still plenty young enough to make this happen. I think I might want her to break 4:30 more than she does though.

       

      This is a very personal decision.  There is no right answer.  But if you do it, make sure it is what she wants.  So much so, that this will still be the case when she wants to kill everybody around her 24 miles in.  

       

      I love running with my wife.  We have not done it in years because the feeling is not totally mutual.  Something about her sweating her butt off and me wearing 4 layers of clothes and adding another 10 miles onto the end.

      "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

       

        Thanks for the input Spaniel.  There was a lot of "I" in that post.

         

        She is excited about running a marathon again, neither of us are sure about running it together side by side though.

         

        We ran some training runs together last fall, but I was just getting started and she was actually slowing down for me.  I think I would be okay on the training runs although we won't get many of those together because someone would have to watch our son for us to run together.

         

        One way or another we will be both running the marathon, I guess we have plenty of time to figure out if we will run it side by side though.  I probably won't start a training plan for it until January even if I decide I want to try for sub 4 hours.  Until then I'll just try to slowly keep building my weekly miles.

        Age: 46 Weight: 200 Height: 6'2" (Goal weight 195)

        Current PR's:  Mara 3:48:09; HM 1:43:26; 10K 43:59; 5K 21:27


        Feeling the growl again

          Thanks for the input Spaniel.  There was a lot of "I" in that post.

           

           

          I'm no expert on marriages, but at least in mine, I like to think I've figured out how to keep myself from sleeping with my avatar.  Wink

          "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

           

            I 'm going to speak here and please feel free to ignore my opinion.  I’m kinda in the same situation in some respects where I have done the races and DH hasn’t.  My times are similar to your wife’s.  If my husband offered to run his first marathon with me (he is faster than me), I would pull out of the race if he persisted in that vein.  Could be because I’m a bitch but I don’t think so – at least not in this case.  I would say no for several reasons:  1) I would want his first marathon to be his and wholly his. 2) I would resent him staying with me when he could get a better time.  3) It would affect our relationship horribly during the marathon training. 4) We have very different approaches to training and strategies in races. 5) Again, I would want his first marathon to be his own experience - I can’t overstate that enough.  I had my first marathon and I have the highs and lows that are my very own.  I would like for him to have that too.

             

            Last year I trained with a friend for her first marathon.  She had more running experience than me and I had more weekly volume.  It was a beautiful marriage for training; I learned a lot from her and I got her mileage up safely.  We had a blast training.  But race day, each was to run their own race.  We had about the same goal.  We started together and found each other several times in the beginning.  The last time we saw each other was around mile 7 or 8.  I felt like I had a thoroughbred race horse next to me that was just busting to let loose.  Power was radiating from her.  Still to this day, I’m not sure if that is what contributed to my energy drain.  I made her leave me and stopped at the next portapotty to insure that she didn’t wait for me.  She slayed the race and I fell apart due to injuries.  I was pissed at myself but was thrilled for her.  It would have killed me if she had stuck around to help me.

             

            Ok, I’ve said all of this and your wife may be exactly the opposite of me.  If she loves the idea, than proceed forward.  I do think it's a kind and nice thought; I'm just not sure how it would make her feel.

              Had a somewhat similar experience (in the inverse) as pink2 while pacing a friend in Austin last year.  At mile 9 or so he just told me to go on and I did so because it was just better for him to suffer through the remaining 17 miles (!) alone.  Lots of people can train together.  I don't think very many can really run a race together, especially not a marathon.  Strangers can run it together, but I'm not so sure about friends and definitely not wives.  At least, like spaniel, I think my wife would seriously dislike me running a marathon with her if she ever wanted to do one.

              - Joe

              We are fragile creatures on collision with our judgment day.

              DoppleBock


                My sister almost killed me twice - Both the last 5 miles of a marathon.  So advice is to not talk too much to her if she is struggling the last 5 miles.

                 

                At Surf City - I mentioned the dolphins playing in the surf and she made it obvious to shut up.  Of course I got back at her at mile #23 when I started power walking and pulling away from her.

                 

                I think you could do a couple runs a week together and the rest by yoursleves .... giving you the opportunity to progress and get faster and still spend time together.

                 

                My 1st question is does she want this ?  It could be a cool thing for you to do together or a relationship stressor if she has no desire to join your marathon training. 

                 

                 This is especially true at mile 23 of a marathon    Big grin

                http://a-big-horse.blogspot.com/ 

                2013 Goals ~ Mar < 3:00, 5M < 29, 10k < 35  

                 

                DoppleBock


                  PS - I hope you build to more than 30 MPW

                  http://a-big-horse.blogspot.com/ 

                  2013 Goals ~ Mar < 3:00, 5M < 29, 10k < 35  

                   


                  Best Present Ever

                    Lots of people can train together.  I don't think very many can really run a race together, especially not a marathon.  Strangers can run it together, but I'm not so sure about friends and definitely not wives.  At least, like spaniel, I think my wife would seriously dislike me running a marathon with her if she ever wanted to do one.

                     I have run marathons with friends.  It has been a good thing. I have tried to run with my much slower husband.  He hates it.  I wish we could run together some, but don't push it.  I've run races with my daughter.  She HATES running with me.  Some races she just has to put up with it (I don't feel comfortable with her running alone on races without closed roads).  Could me that my family just hates me?  in any case, my experience is that running with family is somewhat different from running with friends, potentially more fraught.  

                       I have run marathons with friends.  It has been a good thing. I have tried to run with my much slower husband.  He hates it.  I wish we could run together some, but don't push it.  I've run races with my daughter.  She HATES running with me.  Some races she just has to put up with it (I don't feel comfortable with her running alone on races without closed roads).  Could me that my family just hates me?  in any case, my experience is that running with family is somewhat different from running with friends, potentially more fraught.  

                       

                      I sometimes run with my wife - she's much slower that me. Usually I just treat these runs as recovery/easy runs, and then it's fine because I have no interest in running at a good pace. Occasionally I make it a fartlek style run - I just speed up for a bit and then wait for her later on.

                       

                      We have done races "together", but we don't even line up together at the start, so the "togther" bit doesn't extend to actually running the race.

                        Thanks for the input. 

                         

                        She is excited about the marathon and really looking forward to it.  She just isn't sure if she wants to push for a 4:30 or not.  If I decide to run with her I won't push her to make the 4:30, I'll just run at whatever pace she does.

                         

                        We ran my first half marathon this past April and we trained for it separately and ran it separately.  We lined up together and might have run the first 100 yards together and then she slowed down and I sped up.  I ran that in 1:55:43 and she ran a 2:10:15 on what I would consider to be pretty light training for her.

                         

                        One of both of our most memorable running moments (we don't run together very much) was the last 6 miles of her worst marathon.  She says she would have never finished it if I hadn't run it with her.  I was not much of a runner at the time and had run a 5K that morning and then ran/walked the last 6 miles of her marathon with her.  At the time it was the fartherest I'd ever run in a day in my life.  We talked some, we ran in silence some, I encouraged her some, but mostly I was just there running very slowly beside her.  (It was a very small race and she was out there all by herself).

                         

                        Putting her most recent race times in the calculators ends up right around that 4:30 mark, but most folks say the calculators are optimistic for the marathon distance and I'm not sure she's going to get in more than 40mpw or so in her training so it probably isn't very realistic to expect her to try for a 4:30.  Maybe a PR for her would be a good goal at 4:47:47.

                         

                        One other option that has been mentioned is treating this a a very long training run for me and then running another marathon 3 or 4 weeks later and try to go sub 4 on that one.  Anyone have an opinion on that?

                         

                        I'm trying to get this resolved a long way out because based on my decision I will probably go with a different training program. I'll probably do an 18/55 type program if I'm going to run with her the entire race and I will probably do an 18/70 type program if I'm going to try to go sub 4 hours.

                        Age: 46 Weight: 200 Height: 6'2" (Goal weight 195)

                        Current PR's:  Mara 3:48:09; HM 1:43:26; 10K 43:59; 5K 21:27

                        DoppleBock


                          If I got to pick, I would have you follow a 18/55 for spring and then if that goes well a 18/70 for fall.

                           

                          But I am a hypocrit as I went from couch to 70 MPW program for my 1st.

                          http://a-big-horse.blogspot.com/ 

                          2013 Goals ~ Mar < 3:00, 5M < 29, 10k < 35  

                           


                          Consistently Slow

                            Thanks for the input. 

                             

                            She is excited about the marathon and really looking forward to it.  She just isn't sure if she wants to push for a 4:30 or not.  If I decide to run with her I won't push her to make the 4:30, I'll just run at whatever pace she does.

                             


                             

                            One other option that has been mentioned is treating this a a very long training run for me and then running another marathon 3 or 4 weeks later and try to go sub 4 on that one.  Anyone have an opinion on that?

                             

                            I'm trying to get this resolved a long way out because based on my decision I will probably go with a different training program. I'll probably do an 18/55 type program if I'm going to run with her the entire race and I will probably do an 18/70 type program if I'm going to try to go sub 4 hours.

                             Keep most of your training at MAFF. You will lessen your stress and probably keep her injury free.

                            Run until the trail runs out.

                            2014***1500 miles 09/28/14

                            50miler 13:26:18

                            Race Less Train More

                             

                            Ana Trason  "Living Her Life"

                            "The Marble in The Groove"

                             

                            unsolicited chatter

                            http://bkclay.blogspot.com/


                            RunsWithDog

                              I know this thread is a bit cold, but I am new here, and I noticed it, and I actually have relevant input, so I thought I'd chime in. Smile

                               

                              I dragged my dh along to run a first marathon at the same race. I run more than he does, but he is naturally faster. I train to a plan whereas he runs willy nilly when he has time. I read all the books. He does "whatever". (Damn testosterone, or grit, or whatever . . .)

                               

                              Anyway, doing the training at the same time was great fun. We began a habit of Sunday morning "date runs" for our long runs, and it was and is one of the highlights of my week. The time together, sharing the endorphins, the pain, the minor and major victories, is just something that is lovely, IMHO.

                               

                              When I did my 2nd marathon recently, he wasn't doing it, so he would hook up with me for the last half of many of my long runs, which was still awesome, even though not as spectacularly awesome as having him for the whole run. Wink

                               

                              So, anyway, I'd encourage you to train for the same race if you can, and to train some together if you can, especially those long runs. If you have little kids and can get a sitter weekly so you can take half a day for long runs together, you might find you love it. (We're lucky that we didn't discover running until our kids were old enough to be left home alone while we run!)

                               

                              Dh has become substantially faster than me during my most recent marathon cycle, especially since I was doing long runs on tired legs, whereas he'd come in fresh as a daisy (3 runs a week, lol) to join me for half of my LR distance . . . RIght now, my LR pace is 11:30, whereas his is maybe 10:30, and in my prior cycle I was doing LRs even slower: 12-13 mm.

                               

                              We adapt for this pace disparity in several ways. He might wait for a couple minutes to start to let me get a head start. When he catches me in a mile or two, he'll slow down and chat, get something out of the dog's backpack, etc. Then, after a minute or two, he might double back or take a walk break (I hate walk breaks, but he doesn't mind them) or a pee break or whatever. When we come to a turn around, he might go 1/10 mile further, then loop back. He manages to touch base with me every few minutes. If I do a fast finish, like I did yesterday, then he and I can do the last few miles at 10:00 since that is my fast finish pace, and is probably just on the fast end of his LR pace. Of course, if I take it up a notch and go all out the last mile like I did yesterday, then I might even give HIM a run for his money, as I am often fresher at the end of long runs than he is. (I'm weird that way.)

                               

                              I've found that I get depressed and slow if he is running ahead of me for more than a mile or so at a time, but energized and fast if he is behind me. I start feeling like I can't REACH or TALK to him since he is ahead and fast, and this makes me feel lonely. Since he is a sweetheart, he has made it a habit to stay behind me most of the time instead of ahead of me. It took me hundreds of miles of running together to realize this, so you have to experiment to find what works well for you two.

                               

                              So, anyway, we experiment with techniques to run together, and usually manage our long runs together (or at least together for as far as he is running that week if he is not up for as long as I am going), and we often manage one or even two other short "family" runs together on easy/recovery run days. Our three kids run SOME, and on our family runs, dh will often take our speedster 10 yo for a 4 mile out-n-back at 10mm while I trot along at 12mm for 3 miles on the same course with our other 2 kids -- one or the other of whom often ends up walking part of the route, too. We just muddle along and all end up at the same place in the end.

                               

                              I think following a training plan in somewhat parallel is a really nice together experience. I really love it with dh. Even now that I am continuing my madness with more marathoning, and he is happy to settle into HMs and 20-25 mpw indefinitely, we have forged a bond of shared running that has definitely added another nice dimension to our marriage.

                               

                              All that said, we have never run a race together. I'm all for training together, and even running the first bit of a race together if it is convenient (We certainly have run the first 5% of various races together, but now we don't even do that since he and I are both each focused on specific time goals, and his are too much faster than mine to run together; now we can still stand at the start together in small races if they don't have corrals, lol..)

                               

                              I think it'd be really hard to race together unless one partner was really doing it as a pacer/support. I don't think you should try to pace anyone, let alone your wife for an important goal, when you are yourself running your first marathon. 26.2 is tough, and how crappy would you feel if YOU bonked out and messed up her shot at her goal? I wouldn't want to take that on unless I was very expereinced and 100% confident that I could act as a pacer/coach, and that was what my spouse wanted. If you were EQUALLY matched, then racing together is a more reasonable option, but I still don't know if it's wise in such a close relationship as a marriage. If you are just pals/friends, and one of you craps out at mile 22, the other would, presumably, feel a bit bad, but go ahead and keep moving so as not to crap out yourself. But, could you do that to a spouse? I couldn't, for sure. When dh and I ran our first marathon at the same race, and I crapped out at mile 20, I remember being SO GLAD that I hadn't convinced him to race together, because I would have felt SO BAD if I'd made him crap out, too!! (He didn't!!)

                               

                              FWIW, if you can't train together regularly (say at least a few hard and/or long runs each month), I wouldn't consider racing together. You might find out one of you likes to linger at the water stops, or take walking breaks, or talk nonstop or not talk at all, or whatever. You'd want to work out all those kinks in training, not on race day! 

                              PRs: 10k 57:30, HM 2:11:12, Full 5:02:57

                              Next Up: HM 1/6/13 & Marathon #3 3/24/13

                              Training Plan Right Now: Hansons Brothers Beginner Marathon Plan

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