1

To the Furbabies: (Read 536 times)


Needs more cowbell!

    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"niture. ) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3. Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college. And finally, 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

    I shoot pretty things! ~

    '14 Goals:

    • 2 olympic distance duathlons -- 6 days apart -- PR at least 1

    • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


    Needs more cowbell!

      The bathroom door thing is funny...ours actually has 2 entrances.... Tongue k

      I shoot pretty things! ~

      '14 Goals:

      • 2 olympic distance duathlons -- 6 days apart -- PR at least 1

      • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

      Scout7


      CPT Curmudgeon

        Also, they can be fixed so they don't get pregnant (or impregnate others), and this is considered being responsible. They also don't invite dirty punks over to the house when they think you aren't around, in order to fool around with them in the bedroom.


        Needs more cowbell!

          They also don't invite dirty punks over to the house when they think you aren't around, in order to fool around with them in the bedroom.
          Heck, when my cats see dirty punks in the yard they flip out with intense hatred and attack the window! Tongue k

          I shoot pretty things! ~

          '14 Goals:

          • 2 olympic distance duathlons -- 6 days apart -- PR at least 1

          • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

            They also don't invite dirty punks over to the house when they think you aren't around, in order to fool around with them in the bedroom.
            Yeah. It doesn't matter if you're around! My cats welcomed every Tom Dick and Harry! Hey. Think about that. Big grin
              Dear Zoomy, You only close the kitchen door when there is food out and leave it open the rest of the time. That way we know there is something good in there. In the future, please be sure to leave the door open all the time so we dont drool from the dining room. We of course would never consider jumping on the table and sampling your food if you agree to this plan! Wink Please add a racetrack to your living room. Your kids get train tracks, why cant we have a racetrack? Please be sure to sleep as close to the edges of the bed so we can have the middle for ourselves. We are smaller than you and if you roll on us, we will be very angry. If you dont like that, there are really nice cushions on the floor which I am told should be very comfy for sleeping and naps. You get new running shoes every 300 miles. We deserve new tennis balls every 300 fetches. About the bathroom: do you enjoy going in the cold on the grass with lots of cars and people around? Neither do I! You may not need supervision, but I learn by watching. Please demonstrate so I can learn. You potty-train your kids, why not your us?
              To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
                that's cute! Big grin
                Jennifer mm#1231
                  Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
                  If only my cat could understand this ... Tongue
                  2009: BQ?