12

True stories of stupid people (Read 884 times)


Needs more cowbell!

    O. M. G.!!! Tongue Couldn't have been me...I would have had a pint of Ben & Jerry's, not Skinny Cow! Big grin k

    I shoot pretty things! ~

    '14 Goals:

    • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

    • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


    Swadvad

      Jeffgoblue, I don't care who you are. That's funny! Big grin


      You'll ruin your knees!

        Jeffgoblue, I don't care who you are. That's funny! Big grin
        Film at 10... Newsanchor reads headline as video captures police "cuffing a blond woman screaming obscenities" and as they turn to put her in the squad car, camera Zooms in to show running skirt hiked up in the back revealing a turtle tattoo! OMG! Thanks JGB Lynn B

        ""...the truth that someday, you will go for your last run. But not today—today you got to run." - Matt Crownover (after Western States)


        Needs more cowbell!

          *snickers* I do want a turtle tattoo, though.... Big grin k

          I shoot pretty things! ~

          '14 Goals:

          • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

          • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

            Oh man. I hate Heelys. There were kids wearing them during my 5K this weekend! The race specifically said no roller skates or roller blades. And then there go those kids. So annoying. Back to stupid people. I was working for the local U.S. Attorney's office and we were in a probation revocation hearing. The guy failed a urine test and so when he showed up for his normal probation meeting, he was hauled into court. Now, when you're arrested, they inventory the stuff in your car and then tow it. And as they're inventorying his car? Yep. He brought drugs to his probation meeting. Genius.


            Imminent Catastrophe

              You are probably familiar with this, but along those lines... http://www.darwinawards.com/

              "Able to function despite imminent catastrophe"

               "To obtain the air that angels breathe you must come to Tahoe"--Mark Twain

              "The most common question from potential entrants is 'I do not know if I can do this' to which I usually answer, 'that's the whole point'.--Paul Charteris, Tarawera Ultramarathon RD.

               

              √ Tahoe Rim Trail 100M 20/21 July 2013

              Boston Marathon 21 April 2014

              Tahoe Rim Trail 100M 19/20 July 2014

                That was hilarious, Jeff!

                When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?


                Needs more cowbell!

                  Ha, and how timely...just got this in an e-mail from backroadrunner: Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote! * =================== One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said..."Where???" *They Walk among us and they Vote!!* =================== While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!* =================== I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific". *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!* =================== My colleague and I were eating our lunch in the cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!* =================== My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!* =================== My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount on both.... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!* =================== I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!!!* =================== While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. *Yep, THEY Walk Among Us, and, Dear Me, They Vote too!!!!!!!!*

                  I shoot pretty things! ~

                  '14 Goals:

                  • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

                  • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


                  Imminent Catastrophe

                    Ha, and how timely...just got this in an e-mail from backroadrunner: ... My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount on both.... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!*
                    He should have bought 10 cases.

                    "Able to function despite imminent catastrophe"

                     "To obtain the air that angels breathe you must come to Tahoe"--Mark Twain

                    "The most common question from potential entrants is 'I do not know if I can do this' to which I usually answer, 'that's the whole point'.--Paul Charteris, Tarawera Ultramarathon RD.

                     

                    √ Tahoe Rim Trail 100M 20/21 July 2013

                    Boston Marathon 21 April 2014

                    Tahoe Rim Trail 100M 19/20 July 2014

                      He should have bought 10 cases.
                      You beat me, exactly what I was thinking.

                      When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

                        There has been a rash of arson cases on the Indy Southside. Mostly abandoned homes or old garages. Well the guy arrested for them had bragged to someone that he was the one burning the places to keep the police too busy attempting to solve them and not worry about the bigger rash of home robberies. Then thinking he had made and error in telling this guy he paid him $100 to keep his mouth shut. And promptly robbed the home of the guys mother.

                        To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day. Your training didn’t start 6 weeks ago. Your training started the last time you hit the road. John “the Penguin” Bingham Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire

                          There has been a rash of arson cases on the Indy Southside. Mostly abandoned homes or old garages. Well the guy arrested for them had bragged to someone that he was the one burning the places to keep the police too busy attempting to solve them and not worry about the bigger rash of home robberies. Then thinking he had made and error in telling this guy he paid him $100 to keep his mouth shut. And promptly robbed the home of the guys mother.
                          That's classic. Hey, Bear - long time no see - how goes the ITBS recovery?

                          When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

                            Hope it is OK I have not run since 5 May. Better start back soon as I am starting to dream about the Sept race and not being ready

                            To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day. Your training didn’t start 6 weeks ago. Your training started the last time you hit the road. John “the Penguin” Bingham Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire

                              Hope it is OK I have not run since 5 May. Better start back soon as I am starting to dream about the Sept race and not being ready
                              Hopefully, it's gotten better and all goes well for you in your training. Which race is the September one?

                              When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

                                Depending on the ITBS I am shooting for our local Mil Race Park 15K. If the ITBS flairs up I'll run the 5k instead. I can wait right up to race day to sign up. http://www.crh.org/body_layout.cfm?id=428

                                To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day. Your training didn’t start 6 weeks ago. Your training started the last time you hit the road. John “the Penguin” Bingham Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire

                                12