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Michael Phelps (Read 1487 times)


Menace to Sobriety

    Damn, late again.
    Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go f*** himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
      One time I was with Brasky Phelps in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky Phelps goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill BraskyMichael Phelps! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' 'Michaelphelps'... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!
        I went to high school with him! My one claim to fame....didn't know him, of course. I was one grade above, and still not nearly cool enough to talk to him.


        Menace to Sobriety

          I heard they found a pool floating face down in Micheal Phelps.
          Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go f*** himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
            They use his poop for currency in Argentina.
            xor


              In Vietnam, the currency is called the 'dong'. Seriously. Given the size of Michael Phelps' feet and hands, he needs to be on the lookout for those Vietnamese Currency Poachers.

               

                I heard they found a pool floating face down in Micheal Phelps.
                Snork! Big grin They use his poop for currency in Argentina. Snork, again! Big grin
                  I went to high school with him! My one claim to fame....didn't know him, of course. I was one grade above, and still not nearly cool enough to talk to him.
                  I'm quite surprised that you haven't been interviewed by the world's media.
                    I went to high school with him! My one claim to fame....didn't know him, of course. I was one grade above, and still not nearly cool enough to talk to him.
                    Were you one of the meanies who made fun of his big ears?

                    Runners run.

                      Were you one of the meanies who made fun of his big ears?
                      If you were - congrats. Conclusive proof that bullying produces the greatest Olympic champions.
                        Well, not to his face, of course.... Tongue
                          Well, not to his face, of course.... Tongue
                          Presumably to his ears....
                            You should see his place in Fells Point. The boy ain't hurting.

                            - Anya

                              Apparently he and Usain Bolt were seen partying together at a Beijing nightclub near the Athletes Village last night. At one point, after several tequila shots, both were feeling no pain and the beer muscles started to come out. Phelps apparently challenged Bolt to a 100m dash. A crowd of people then followed the two to a local high school track where Phelps dusted the world record holder. Someone hand timed Phelps' run at 9.59, and allegedly he pulled up with 20 meters to go to celebrate. Oh and the kicker? Phelps ran barefoot--the only shoes he owns are flip-flops.
                              I hate to see misinformation like this posted. He also owns a pair of slippers, he just doesn't wear them outside the house.

                                Sponsor me! I'm raising money for the Red Door Family Shelter at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half Marathon Oct 19, 2014

                                 

                                First or last...it's the same finish line

                                HF #4362

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