For those that know me... (Read 747 times)

I ran today. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. It felt like chocolate Today I 'celebrate' the one year anniversary of the Waiheke Race. A year that has been spent with pain and frustration. I haven't had a single run since that day, Jan 20th 2007, that has been pain free. And what a year it has been. For quite a while I continued running, my stress fracture never properly diagnosed and me too scared of the truth to push along a path towards it. April saw me sat at a table being told by my 16 year old daughter that I was to become a Grandma. I ran that day. I ran so hard that I collapsed in a heap at the side of the street and I punched the air in agony, both emotional and real. Can you imagine what that felt like? I was petrified for my daughter. Terrified that she was having a baby so young but even more petrified that she would decide not to have the baby. I cried so much in the coming weeks. My eyes became so swollen that those who do not know us well questioned if my loving husband was beating me. I cried for months but still I ran, painful though it was. Running beat some demons away for me that year. So today I tend the garden and I tie things down ready for the tropical storm that is blowing into Auckland. As the first heavy drops fall down upon my muddied skin I decide to go for a walk before the storm hits. I lace up my running shoes, so many memories flooding back. It is hard not to think of the Waiheke race as I stretch whilst facing into the humid angry wind. I knew before I even left the property that I would leave running and that today, just for today, I deserve to run. Short, flat, slow - but f&$K I was running and it felt so good I could barely breathe for laughter on the outward stretch. Mid point, fatigued by lack of fitness, beaten down by months on the bench I turned and ran with tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe that I was crying. Stupid huh? I couldn't believe that despite the pain, despite the fact that every single step hurt my virgin lungs and strained my softened muscles, I was so happy I could burst. Every single step of todays run, I ran for the pain of not running. If you have never been benched for five months you probably won't understand. So far - my leg feels perfect. It feels like chocolate Claire xxx

Ed, you can bubble wrap me.

I wish you were were my mom. Your daughter is blessed. Of course, then I'd have some rather conflicted Oedipal emotions requiring a lot alcohol and/or therapy. Welcome back, toots. Now how about you wait until at least next Wednesday or so before you run your first ultra-marathon? You need to do the opposite of HTFU. You need running (and it needs you). So go easy on your bad self. Reading your post made my morning.

Bad Claire!! What happened to taking it slow and walking for the next 4 weeks, huh? That said, I know how you feel. You conveyed the emotions of coming off the bench perfectly. (Seriously, I can't wait for the day I am buying something published by you, you have such a gift). I'm glad to hear that you got to work through the emotions of the past year and run.... and show Waiheke that even though it got you for awhile, you are coming back. Even better news that your leg was pain free. So the evil shock therapy man actually did some good?? Now take it easy and stick with the plan so we don't have to see you on a bench ever again! Shaunna

You deserved a great run! Now make sure you get better so you can have some more chocolate.

Ditto...real and figurative! Be careful, girly.

That oughta go in a book somewhere.

Yep, you really have a gift! I am glad that your run went well. Keep it up, but be careful! love, Jilly

Reading the above makes me feel guilty for every run I've taken for granted since 1/20/07. Glad you're back. Look forward to reading your posts. These forums are better with you in them.