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| No motivation NADA! (Read 667 times) |
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posted: 4/11/2008 at 8:52 PM |
I just don't seem to care at all. I was so looking forward to this
year's Half then my back decided it had other plans and benched me.
After several courses of medications to include a steroid, I was sent to
a Physical Therapy. That helped a lot but by then training was well
under way for the half and I was STILL benched. Now with 3 more weeks of
training lost I was cleared to run very short distances. The last run I
had was 2/9. I KNOW I should be out there building miles and working on
the basics. NOPE!!! Sometimes I get worked up enough to actually do the
exercises the PT gave me. I just don't freaking care and that scares me.
I have GAINED weight like mad too!!! The steroid put 6 lbs on me in less
than 2 days and I have not taken it off yet!! In fact I am still putting
it on!! Last time I checked I was 265 lbs or 70 lbs over where I WANT to
be!!!!
Most days I feel like crap and just want to sleep. I used to be
disappointed with BG (blood sugar) readings in the morning if I had a
reading over 100. I have been averaging about 114 since Christmas (when
my back started all this crap)
BTW on a side note:
Please know that in no way am I condoning addiction, but I do understand
how it happened to Rush.
Back pain. Pain 24/7, couldn't sit, couldn't stand and even reached the
point where being flat on my back would not relieve that pain. Doc tried
everything, anti inflammatory, muscle relaxants, even Prednisone, which
is somewhat dangerous as it exasperates my diabetes and high blood
pressure. Back pain is not new to me, but this was different! NOTHING
worked!!!!
I hadn't lifted anything heavy the wrong way, so what the hell was the
problem? I'd go to sleep in pain, I'd wake up in pain and I'd go through
the day in pain.
It is VERY easy knowing that in the medicine cabinet was a bottle of
pills that would make the pain go away or at least make it livable for a
while. A scary situation, that is!!
But now I understand Rush's addiction. If you are in enough pain long
enough that bottle of pain killer starts looking more and more like your
best friend!! SCARY!!!!!
But maybe knowing what happened to Rush kept me bugging the doc to treat
the cause and not the pain. Maybe it kept me from reaching too many
times for that bottle of pills!! But I know one thing for sure, it CAN
happen to anyone at anytime!!
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To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day.
Your training didn’t start 6 weeks ago. Your training started the last time you hit the road.
John “the Penguin” Bingham
Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire
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finney Resident pinniped |
posted: 4/11/2008 at 9:06 PM |
I dealt with a chronic pain condition for almost 3 years. By the time something actually helped it (exercise, ironically enough), I was damn near suicidal and no, I'm not exaggerating.
I'm thinking you're depressed. Probably not in the clincal "I need medication" sense, just in the "this is bullshit and my life blows" sense. We all go through it but sometimes getting down is what makes you get more down and on and on the cycle goes.
First point, if your back pain is not being adequately treated that's the FIRST thing that needs to be addressed. Have you tried chiropractic? Please don't automatically dismiss it as witch-doctery, it really helps lots of people including me, and it does indeed treat the cause instead of the pain.
The painkillers are a catch 22. I'm assuming you're on Vicoden or some other opiate? Yeah...those'll suck the life right out of you. They will make you chronically tired and suck all your motivation. But without them, as you mention, sometimes the pain is unbearable.
Second, once your pain is gone or minimal you have to set reasonable goals. You'll feel psychologically defeated if you think of EVERYTHING you "have to" to do to get where you want to be. Start small and gradually build back your self confidence and the feeling that you can manage things.
My side note on addiction: misusing pain medication is a TOTALLY different ballgame than becoming physically addicted due to legitimate pain. The substances are addictive, no doubt about it. But the person who uses them long term for pain and for no other reason will become physically addicted simply because the body gets used to functioning at a certain level of medication. This is NOT abuse nor anything to be ashamed of, just an unfortunate outcome of treatment with opiated painkillers. The person who uses them recreationally, or takes more than is needed to manage pain is the one who is the "addict". Quite often the two concepts get confused, stigmatizing people who are using the medications as they are intended. |
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posted: 4/11/2008 at 9:06 PM |
I found these quotes somewhere:
Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day.
Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire.
If they don't help, go open the door and step outside. You can do it. It ain't about knowing what to do; we have way too much knowledge about what we oughta do. All knowing does after a certain point is get in the dadgum way by making us feel like bear poop. It's the doing that does the work.
If I could run with you over the internet, I would.
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a vagabond,..highway-beater; a rolling stone, one that does nought but runne here and there.
~Cotgrave, Randle A dictionarie of the French and English tongues, 1611
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posted: 4/11/2008 at 9:08 PM |
If you are cleared to run, then you need to read your sig
To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day.
Motivation is a tough thing. The only person that can REALLY motivate you, is you.
You may need to set some goals, and deal with the fact that they are going to be much less than what you have done before, but you are where you are.
I hope that you recover fully from your injury and get back out there.
GOOD LUCK! |
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:D |
posted: 4/12/2008 at 5:49 AM |
Hi Gregg - that is good news that you have been cleared to run. You have had a lot of frustrations lately, but I know how tough you are. It doesn't matter that you don't care right now - just get out the door anyways, once you get started, you just might start to care again.
I'm glad to see you posting 
sending you a kick in the pants to get you started out that door.....
Hang in there, Gregg
Cheryl |
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away...(unkown)
Unus Dies Procul A Vicis
• Go With The Flow
• Thyroid Support Group |
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| view log My clam (shell) picture. |
posted: 4/12/2008 at 1:18 PM |
Maybe you are depressed?
I just don't freaking care and that scares me.
After all, you've suffered a sidelining and perhaps goal-postponing injury and now this weight gain. That's some bummers. Just something to think about. |
Boston 2008
DWARP
Marathon Madness Mob |
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posted: 4/12/2008 at 1:41 PM
modified: 4/12/2008 at 5:31 PM |
Gregg,
I know you don't even who I am, but what you should know about me is that I started lurking on RA around the end of last summer, like August/September, primarily to start logging my inconsistent running. I didn't even know there was a running forum here for like 2 months. When I found it and started checking out the threads and obviously the user profiles of the posters here at RA, you being one of them. I was inspired by the diversity and determination of the folks here on RA and their reasons for running and their accomplishments regardless of their age, race, gender, size, shape, or abilities. I remember pulling up this profile: http://www.runningahead.com/profiles/750566d0f4134025a3c6ca06fd74220c, and being totally inspired by this person's ability to set their current physical condition aside, bag the excuses, lace up the shoes, and determine to start getting themself physically more healthy one day at a time. The picture in this profile, showing the gentleman's accomplishment of a 13.1 mile half marathon and proudly holding the FINISHER'S medal from around his neck, was one of many of my inspirations here to get off my ass, get serious about my health and running, and set a goal to run a marathon, which I am embarking on tomorrow morning. I am running this marathon in honor of my mid-30's aged cousin who has severe cerebral palsy and has never taken a step in her life. Your ability to be physically active is a GIFT. Don't squander it. 
Best of luck my inspirational friend...
Rick |
Rick
"The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare." - Juma Ikangaa
"I wanna go fast." Ricky Bobby
runningforcassy.blogspot.com
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JoJo! |
posted: 4/12/2008 at 2:14 PM |
You will get motivation once you force yourself out the door or onto the TM (time/distance ... do not focus on that right now) just get a little something done, today. The mind is a crazy thing, powerful, but the 'deep downYOU' behind the discouraging thoughts, is more powerful & actually the boss. Take charge - say F-you to any thought in your brain that is a deterrent to getting out the door & just get out the door.
KNOWING that this won't necessarily be the last time you don't want to or don't feel like it or aren't inspired etc... I forget the exact quote but when I read it, it really made sense to me... something like 'the days you feel the least like running are equally important as the ones you're pumped up about! I think it's so true.
This girl I work with who started running & has been off & on brings it up with me a lot and one time she was giving me a run down of the last few weeks : a couple days were raining, one was really windy, several times her kids wanted to go somewhere, drank too much on Sat. night, ate too much on Tues. etc... I made it known that if people wait for the perfect 55-60 partly cloudy, no wind day (especially in New England) they'll probably run a few weeks out of the year! As far as what we do, eat, & drink - we don't have to be perfect but just CREATIVE.
When I went to Italy last summer - even though I prefer to run in the afternoon - I knew if I did not run in the morning before it got hot or before lunch & the glasses of DELICIOUS wine ... I would have had an entire vacation of non-running with plenty of excuses. These runs were not fast, far, or structured ... they were the 'just get out the door & get going & when you're done you'll feel 100% better' runs. AND TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Just get going ... it'll come together.
Kelly |
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posted: 4/13/2008 at 5:41 AM |
That feeling sucks. You know it's an endless loop...you'll feel better if you get out and run, but you feel too crappy to get out and run, but running would make you feel better....
But you're thinking about it, talking about it, you KNOW what you want and need to do.
Lie to yourself! "Well, I'll just get out and jog for 15 minutes. One block. It'll suck but I'll do it."
And you'll get out, and you'll realize after 15 minutes that you remember how it feels so good to be moving. And then you'll keep moving. You've got to force yourself back into the habit.
If I had a pair of running tights I'd even let you follow me so long as you get out the door! |
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posted: 4/13/2008 at 11:50 PM |
I'm afraid we are in the same boat. What I have done is started a "blog" thread over in the "Look what I can do forum." I am planning on posting my food and running log in there.
I feel hypocritical offering advice because I have been terrible about motivation too. But, I think the best thing that you can do is make the decision on whether or not you want to be a runner, and then set it in stone. Realize the sacrifices and the benefits of running, and make your decision. Any doubts enter your mind can be easily dismissed, because you have made up your mind long ago. It's not a factor of being motivated on any given day or not, because you've already made up your mind to stick to your schedule.
I was in a similar situation with opiates recently and I can tell you that the best thing that I ever did is flush them all down the toilet. I don't know what your level of pain is like, but for me the side effects were worse than the pain.
If you ever want to chat, send me a PM (I assume there are PMs somewhere on this site).
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"On most days, run easy. On some days, run hard. But not too hard." |
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posted: 4/14/2008 at 10:27 PM
modified: 4/14/2008 at 10:33 PM |
Meds scare me to a point. When I was first dx'd as a diabetic the first thing doc wanted to do was put me on several meds. Well I knew from family (I am the 10th D in 4 generations) that this can be controlled via diet and exercise, sometime for decades. After much talking with Doc he agreed. But my last visit though he started hinting that I am having control problems and I have really much to be proud of for staying off meds for so long. Too many of the meds have side effects that compound the problem. OH and I HATE needles!!! Can't even look at them on TV. But I am good at finger sticks!! If I feel the stick it is because the sharp is too dull.
I want off the meds I am currently on. Currently I am on 2 blood pressure meds which I hate. And the best I can do is got off only one. The other is more to protect my kidneys from the diabetes.
And if Doc ever says Prednisone to me again, I am going to be arested for assult!! NASTY stuff!!!! Why in God's Name would anyone EVER take that crap for "fun"??????????????????????????????? STUPID!!!!!!! and for a diabetic SUPER STUPID!!!!!!! Fasting readings in the mid 250!!! FASTING!!!! I can eat a BOWL of pasta and not see # that high even without running after I have it!!!!
But the truth is someday I am going to have to take those damned meds!! And I hear Lizard Spit has NASTY side effects taht can last many weeks. Not to menton it takes NEEDLES to use!!
I sure picked the wrong disease to get!!!
Another reason to avoid the meds......................... I'll loose my FAA Medical!! I dreamed a lonnng time and worked hard to get my pilot's license. Meds will ground me.
milesoftrials, the pain was not as bad has it has been in the past. Just lasted longer this time. Doc sent me to a Physical Therapist this time. She was a Gift From God she was!!! As for pain meds? The less the better. I was jsut saying I can understand Rush and other like him. And that too scares me! I don't WANT to understand that because it leads to a very easy to open door. FEAR in this case is good!!
OK.......................... RANTING helps!!!! I feel like running! |
To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day.
Your training didn’t start 6 weeks ago. Your training started the last time you hit the road.
John “the Penguin” Bingham
Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire
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posted: 4/14/2008 at 10:54 PM |
| Quote from Bear_Poop on 4/14/2008 at 10:27 PM: OK.......................... RANTING helps!!!! I feel like running!
YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!
I really like what Rick (rvelich) said above. I was someone who came to RA and this forum, and found your posts highly encouraging. I hope you get things worked out, Gregg. You've helped others do the same.  |
Drew
Road to the Monkey
Just run, baby.
Your hide will make a fine poncho. |
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posted: 4/17/2008 at 10:12 PM |
First run!!! NOT a good pace and only a mile with 3 recoveries an my shin HURT!!!
But GAWD that was FUN!!!! |
To paraphrase an old poster: Today is the first day of the rest of your training. It doesn’t matter where you started or how far you’ve come. Today is the day.
Your training didn’t start 6 weeks ago. Your training started the last time you hit the road.
John “the Penguin” Bingham
Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire
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posted: 4/17/2008 at 10:23 PM |
| Sweet, dude. Glad to hear it! |
Drew
Road to the Monkey
Just run, baby.
Your hide will make a fine poncho. |
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