Dave and Bob Present: The Shamrock 10K (A Race Report) (Read 440 times)


Beware, batbear...

    BOB

    Welcome to beautiful Asheville, North Carolina, home of today's race, the Shamrock 10K which benefits the Asheville Catholic School, sponsored by Sisters of Mercy Urgent Care.  If you're in need of forgiveness from your sisters, make sure you have Sisters of Mercy.  Isn't that right, Dave?


    DAVE

     That's right, Bob.  We like our sisters merciful.


    BOB

    Well, let's talk a little about today's race Dave.  Pretty interesting course isn't it, Dave?


    DAVE

    You struck the nail right on the sweet spot, Bob.  This course starts through rolling hills and then hits a steep incline for a half mile right around mile 2, straight up Cherokee Mtn.  After you finish the steep incline you've got about a mile and half of steady incline before you get over Sunset Hill.  Then a gradual decline for a half mile followed by a half mile of steep incline bringing you to mile 5.  


    BOB

    And when you reach that stretch you're done with the hills, right Dave?


    DAVE

    Au Contraire, Robert (French pronunciation.  Rhymes with "Stephen Colbert.").  You've still got a nice doozy up Kimberly Avenune, then about a quarter mile downhill, followed by a 1/3 of  a mile uphill to the finish.


    BOB

    Gosh!  This looks like a tough course, Dave.


    DAVE

    It is, Bob.  In fact we overheard one competitor say, "You will not run a harder 10K."


    BOB

    Well, I know I won't, Dave, because I would rather sit on my fat ass right here in this booth.


    DAVE

    Me too, Bob.  Pass a doughnut.


    BOB

    Here you go.


    DAVE

    Mm.. Maple.  Delicious.


    BOB

    And like that maple donut, the weather conditions are equally delicious today.  The sun is out, it's 52 degrees and spring is in the air.   You know I noticed some tulips and daffodils pushing up dirt today, Dave.


    DAVE

    It's that time of year.


    BOB

    It certainly is.  Well, unlike many broadcasts, we're going to be focusing our interest on just one runner today, you know him as Batensmack, and here he comes.  


    DAVE

    He looks festive.


    BOB

    Yes, he's wearing those green swimming trunk things that he uses for running shorts, and a green cotton shirt over a white tech shirt.  Looks like he's just come in from warming up.  Let's see if we can call him over.  Josh!  Josh!  Come over here and talk to us.


    JOSH

    How's it going guys?


    BOB

    Looks like you just got your warm up in.  How ya' feeling for today's race.


    JOSH

    Well, Bob, my legs feel fine, but I feel like I've been fighting off a cold for the last couple of days.  I couldn't really catch my breath as I tried to do a few strides warming up.


    BOB

    Do you have any particular time goals in mind, Josh.


    JOSH

    Well, Bob, I was thinking of trying to beat my previous PR of 52:25.  I ran that in January at the Isaac Dickson 10K and I'm feeling like I'm in a lot better shape now.  But the course is pretty brutal, so i just hope to get close.


    BOB

    Now, remember Josh, today we're going to be focusing on your race, and we've implanted our special 4D brain scanning device to help us actually read your thoughts as you go through the race. Good luck out there, and we'll be checking in on you.


    JOSH

    That's pretty weird, guys, but I'll go with it.  


    DAVE

    Enjoy your race.  Looks like we're about to start, Bob, shortly after the CEO from Sisters Of Mercy Urgent Care gives us his speech.  


    BOB

    And once Father Edward gives the invocation. (long pause) Amen!  Let's get this...whoa!  Was that the start horn.  Looks like Josh is off with the pack at a pretty good clip.


    DAVE

    Yeah, but Bob, it looks like he forgot to start his watch.  Ooh!  That's going to give him a serious case of the grumps here in a couple of minutes.  


    BOB

    Yep.  No doubt about it.  And now as we're closing in on mile one it looks like they've got no one to call out the mile splits!  Whoa.  That's going to throw him off on that plan to run sub 8:00 on these early flat parts.  I wonder if he even knows how fast he's running.  Let's check the 4D Brain Scan.


    JOSH'S BRAIN

    Man!  I wonder what my time is?  Why didn't I start my watch?  Why am I breathing so hard?  Should I slow down.  Oh man, here comes a big freaking hill.


    DAVE

    That really is a steep hill there, isn't it, Bob?  


    BOB

    Yes, it looks like a lot of the contestants have decided to walk some of the hill, but Josh seems to just be trucking right on up the hill.  Do you think that will hurt his time?


    DAVE

    I'm not sure, Bob.  But he definitely appears to be having a tough time getting it going again now that he's reached the top.  Let's check the brain scan.


    JOSH'S BRAIN

    Breathe!  Breathe!  Can't....go....any....faster....why can't I pick up to those guys!


    BOB

    Well, at this point it doesn't look like Josh is passing anyone, but he's not getting passed either.  


    DAVE

    Nope, he's found his place in the field.  And here comes the downhill.  Maybe he can pick up some time here.


    BOB

    It certainly looks like he's going to try.  We're coming up on mile 5 now.  I wonder what the strategy is.


    DAVE

    It's a good thing we have that brain scan thingy, eh Bob.


    JOSH'S BRAIN

    Ok.  Mile 5.  Pick it up.  Just one mile.  I can do this.   It's mostly flat.


    BOB

    Looks like Josh was unaware of the two other hills left on the course.  


    DAVE

    Sure enough.  He's passed that guy in white there, but it's not looking like he's going to be able to hold him off.  


    JOSH'S BRAIN

    What?!  Another uphill!  This sucks.  I got nothing.  Totally out of gas.  Let's try to pick up the...ah f**k it!


    BOB

    Well we're in the home stretch.  Here he comes and the time is 54:06.  Not too bad considering the hills.


    DAVE

    Yes, some of the other runners were reporting 5 and 6 minutes off of their other 10K times from January.  A minute and a half might actually still be an improvement in fitness.


    BOB

    We'll count it a moral victory, Dave.  Hey look!  It's good enough to get him 3rd place in his age group!  Let's just hope there were more than 3 people in the age group.  


    DAVE

    Well, let's not look into that too closely, moral victory and all.


    BOB

    Well, that's it from Asheville for this Saturday.  Thanks for tuning into "Dave and Bob Present."  Sayonara.


    DAVE

    And adios!



    2012 Goals:

    1.  1500+ miles.

    2.  Streak starting in March or April if I'm healed.

    3.  100 Push up challenge to get some upper body strength back.

    4.  Get weight under 180 by the end of the summer.  

    5.  1 or fewer alcoholic drinks 4+ nights per week every week.

    6.  Concentrate on 5K distance and September HM.

    7.  Have fun!

     


    Loves the outdoors

      Favourite. Race. Report. Ever.
      One day I decided I wanted to become a runner, so I did.

        Love it!

         

        looking forward to more Bob and Dave "live from ___________"  reports

        RunsForCake


          *claps*

           

          Nicely done.  Both race and race report! 


          Lia's Daddy

            Great race! I would say your fitness has definitely increased. Just since the Hot Chocolate really. You had a similar time on a much more difficult course. What's next? Biltmore 15k?
            "Stadiums are for spectators. We runners have nature and that is much better."
            Juha "the Cruel" Väätäinen


            The King of Beasts

              BOB

              Well, I know I won't, Dave, because I would rather sit on my fat ass right here in this booth.


              DAVE

              Me too, Bob.  Pass a doughnut.


              BOB

              Here you go.


              DAVE

              Mm.. Maple.  Delicious.

              Great race report !!

              "As a dreamer of dreams and a travelin' man / I have chalked up many a mile. / Read dozens of books about heroes and crooks, / And I've learned much from both of their styles." ~ Jimmy Buffett

              “"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
              "No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."”
                Great report.  Congrats on AG!
                  You and Squeaky are going to have to sell your services writing race reports for the rest of us hacks...
                  Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.