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Monkey Slayer-in-Chief (Read 1767 times)

    Sorry, Jeff. Your bragging was lame. Now it's my turn. Yes Jeff Edmonds - as in our own RunningAhead.com "Jeff" - emerged as the mightiest of the monkey slayers yesterday. In truly impressive fashion. Jeff, as in this guy: http://runningahead.com/view_profile.aspx?pid=098979796f714b408b399c5f7900dff4 Being a pretty simple-minded simian, I didn't make the connection between Jeff, Master of the Monkeys, and our own "Jeff," until we were standing around in sub-Arctic temperatures after the race, waiting to hear the results. He, of course, had already had time to go home, shower, change, make an omelet, do his taxes, and write a short novel, before returning about the time I showed up at the finish line. But when I finally figured out that Jeff was our "Jeff" - I went up and said hello. That he was a nice guy was expected; that he was ridiculously modest about his mind-boggling achievement wasn't. Not every monkey-slayer-wannabe was exactly humble. Jeff let his feet do the talking, and is still being far too modest about it. Which is why I'm bragging for him. 'Cause he'll never do it right. Smile Jeff is an interesting guy, by the way. His name came up in the group I was running with, and I learned a few things. If I've got this down right, Jeff either has a Ph.D. in Philosophy, or he's pursuing one now. Definitely one of those. Which explains why he goes by the monkey moniker of "Philosopher" over at the monkeython board. Which, by the way, is here - for the curious: http://harpethhillsmarathon.com/monkeychatter/ The philosophy thing also explains the fact that he's quite the thinker. Over at the monkey board, he actually took the time to analyze every hill on the course, and then break down each mile by the pace he expected to run plus or minus the variance caused by the severity of the hills during that particular mile and which sections were most likely to be the scene of monkey attacks. That thread got some pretty snarky comments, too. Although in the snarkers' defense, the whole monkey chatter gang was a bunch of snark-artists, and Jeff's analysis was pretty in-depth. But guess who had the last laugh? Philosopher Jeff, of course. I'm curious to find out how close his actual splits were to his mile-by-mile predictions. I'll bet they were pretty damn close. Here's the thing: if you go peek at that other board, you'll see that there was some pretty big talking going on pre-race. And not everybody backed up the talk. Jeff didn't do much talking. He just did the running. And he destroyed this course. Obliterated it. This course was brutal. Brutal. No other word for it. I have inside information from a volunteer that quite a few people were just about crying before they started the trek up the hill at mile 18. I wasn't just crying as I was climbing it, I was still moaning and whimpering five miles later. Brutal. Truly. Just check out the hill at 18: http://harpethhillsmarathon.com/PWPmaps/Elevation.JPG Despite all that, Jeff went out there and set the course on fire, and left behind a trail of blazing embers for the rest of us to follow. Of the 105 runners, nine didn't make it. Although I'm not sure if they were monkey attack victims during the race - or before the race - or if they just wised up before the start. On a 35 degree way-too-windy day (but at least the hills were good for something), on a sadistically brutal course, with carnivorous avian-simians tossing assorted unmentionables at him for 26 miles, Jeff ran a blistering 2:50:25. For those who can't do the math, that's around a 6:30 pace, for 26 miles, despite the wind, the hills, and the monkeys. Nobody had any business running a sub-3:00 time on this course. (Actually, nobody had any business running it, period. This course left a couple real-life elite-type runners begging for mercy). Only four people managed to break three hours, but Jeff finished a whopping 5 1/2 minutes ahead of his closest competitor. At his speed, that put him almost a mile ahead of the runner-up. So fast the monkeys couldn't catch him. Only one word to describe it: awesome. Awesome. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A full Monkey Report will likely follow at some point, and will include: a story about something I saw that truly inspired me on this run, and - of course - oodles of kudos for Trent. The organization was damn near flawless. The runner support was better than should have been possible. The volunteers, standing on that mountaintop in those temperatures for hours, were nothing short of angelic. Even the goodies were ridiculously good; there is no way my entry fee covered the stuff I got. Trent spoiled us all, and I may never run a big city marathon again. As for me, another single word should suffice: Ouch.
    E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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    Needs more cowbell!

      Wow...I have the utmost respect for guys like Jeff...heck, anyone who runs marathons, in general, but especially for those who go so above and beyond on such a brutal course. k

      I shoot pretty things! ~

      '14 Goals:

      • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

      • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

        Well done, Jeff, on a most-impressive run! I have not had the good fortune (misfortune?) of running this course, but I did check out the pictures and elevation chart a while ago. This does not look like a course for the faint of heart, and JakeKnight got it right--it is a brutal course, and you killed it. Great job! (And, nice report on his run, JK. Can't wait to read yours)
        My Masters (>50) Race PR's: 5K - 20:17 10K - 42:36 HM - 1:31:22 Marathon - 3:20:48
          Blush Aww, shucks. Thanks for the write-up, Jake! Actually, I was checking my splits every now and then, but it wasn't a cerebral race. I kept telling myself not to push too soon, but my legs didn't listen! Sometimes it's best to turn off the old noggin. A lesson that many philosophers could benefit from. Thanks, Kirsten and Pron8er, for the cheers as well. Respect is due to all the finishers, but particularly to the organizers. We worked for a few hours. Trent & Co. worked for months. One more point that I'd like to make here. This is the most well-behaved message board that I cruise around on. On the local Nashville message boards there's a lot of talk about fast runners vs. joggers and weird animosity between "elites" and "non-elites." I appreciate this crowd for accommodating all types of runners and working hard to create a kind of pluralistic running community. Folks here are tolerant but still come across with a point of view. That's hard to do these days, particularly in these sound-byte reactionary kind of times. So, the philosopher in me wants to give a shout out to the Runningahead board for what I'd call its democratic tone. Didn't know you were political activists, did ya? Wink


          You'll ruin your knees!

            Blush Aww, shucks. Thanks for the write-up, Jake! Actually, I was checking my splits every now and then, but it wasn't a cerebral race. I kept telling myself not to push too soon, but my legs didn't listen! Sometimes it's best to turn off the old noggin. A lesson that many philosophers could benefit from. Thanks, Kirsten and Pron8er, for the cheers as well. Respect is due to all the finishers, but particularly to the organizers. We worked for a few hours. Trent & Co. worked for months. One more point that I'd like to make here. This is the most well-behaved message board that I cruise around on. On the local Nashville message boards there's a lot of talk about fast runners vs. joggers and weird animosity between "elites" and "non-elites." I appreciate this crowd for accommodating all types of runners and working hard to create a kind of pluralistic running community. Folks here are tolerant but still come across with a point of view. That's hard to do these days, particularly in these sound-byte reactionary kind of times. So, the philosopher in me wants to give a shout out to the Runningahead board for what I'd call its democratic tone. Didn't know you were political activists, did ya? Wink
            You gotta love a guy who uses "shucks" in a sentence! Well said! Way to go Jeff, and all who braved grade and monkey unmentionables. Sounds like Trent has a winner! Lynn B

            ""...the truth that someday, you will go for your last run. But not today—today you got to run." - Matt Crownover (after Western States)

              WTG Jake& Jeff!!!!

              Your toughness is made up of equal parts persistence and experience. You don't so much outrun your opponents as outlast and outsmart them, and the toughest opponent of all is the one inside your head." - Joe Henderson

                WTG Jake& Jeff!!!!

                Your toughness is made up of equal parts persistence and experience. You don't so much outrun your opponents as outlast and outsmart them, and the toughest opponent of all is the one inside your head." - Joe Henderson


                A Dance with Monkeys

                  Im my long career of lurking on running message board, I have never ever ever seen anybody write a race report about somebody else. I don't know who to be more proud of in this moment, Jeff or JN. Grand kudos to both. And Jeff, thank you for showering Big grin And JN, rematch at Rocket City. 19 days. Get to work.
                    Excellent job, guys. Couple of PRs, no? That elevation chart looks like a saw blade, good stuff.

                    Runners run.

                      Im my long career of lurking on running message board, I have never ever ever seen anybody write a race report about somebody else. I don't know who to be more proud of in this moment, Jeff or JN. Grand kudos to both.
                      Yeah, gave me a warm fuzzy feeling too. Thanks, JK.

                      Roads were made for journeys...

                        I appreciate this crowd for accommodating all types of runners and working hard to create a kind of pluralistic running community.
                        Amen, Monkey-Slayer.
                        E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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                          And JN, rematch at Rocket City. 19 days. Get to work.
                          Therapy is in your future. You're a doctor, right? You must know some good shrinks. Call one. Soon. I can barely walk to the refrigerator at this point. You're nuts. And no rematch for you, unless I get a guarantee in writing that you'll be taking phone calls along the way and stopping to adjust each mile marker ...
                          E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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                          A Dance with Monkeys

                            Oh yeah, I did move a couple of mile markers, didn't I. Big grin


                            Now that was a bath...

                              As the Kiwi's would say 'Awesome Bro!' I am so inspired by the amazing stories that I read on here and a huge pat on the pack for Jeff and Sir Jake for even attempting this sort of feat. (Jake has been elevated to the status of 'Sir' for entertaining me with his wit and words over coffee and keypad in the last week) I almost fell down (can you fall down whilst sitting? - Maybe 'fell off' suits better) when I checked out Jeff's log - wtg on the pace! I am in shock and then some. It's nice to know that the board I have so recently joined is such a fair one. You wrote a compelling revue Jeff. Claire xxx
                            • jlynnbob "HTFU, Kookie's distal tibia"
                            • Where's my closet? I need to get back in it.
                                (Note: blatant copyright infringement and theft of intellectual property to follow. Payment will be on the way to the victims of my crime, as requested. Alternatively, you may commence biting me. Thank you.) Picture # 1 - Jeff looks very, very lonely, doesn't he? http://picasaweb.google.com/mduncan36/FlyingMonkey2A2/photo#4999715062170583058 Picture # 2 - What victory looks like. Notice he's still running. Notice the crepe paper. Now that's classy. http://picasaweb.google.com/mduncan36/FlyingMonkey1A1/photo#4999697666894462994 Picture # 3 - A well-earned medal. (A medal made of wood. But who's counting?). I'm pretty sure that seconds before this shot was taken, Jeff said: "I'm going to Disney World ..." http://picasaweb.google.com/mduncan36/FlyingMonkey2A2/photo#4999715086494990354 Picture # 4 - Gratuitous inclusion of my two favorite race volunteers. Note the Emmitt Smith jersey. Oh, yeah. http://picasaweb.google.com/mduncan36/FlyingMonkey2A2/photo#4999717364261322770 Picture # 5 - Do not - I say again, do not - give this man a megaphone. Under any circumstances. (Note his bib number, by the way). http://picasaweb.google.com/mduncan36/FlyingMonkey1A1/photo#4999705137016471570 Cool Cool Cool ------------------ Modified to add: this post would make a bit more sense if the pictures were working. If I can't figure it out, I'll just put in the links. Modified yet again: computers suck. Links will have to do.
                                E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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