Monkey Slayer-in-Chief (Read 1766 times)

http://nashvillestriders.com/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=FlyingMonkeyMarathon&id=Flying_Monkey_018

Wingz, names on bibs is a must! Never settle for anything less

I'll have to remember to bring a Sharpie to my next race, then, LOL.

Bah...they don't look like they're running all that hard... BTW, I would KILL for legs like that woman has. Man, even in my wildest dreams mine would never look like that...*grumbles about 28" inseam and cankles*

Bah...they don't look like they're running all that hard... BTW, I would KILL for legs like that woman has. Man, even in my wildest dreams mine would never look like that...*grumbles about 28" inseam and cankles*

A few quick points: 1) I hate you 2) That was like mile 1. Before the real hills. Before the tears of pain and shame. Before the blood. Before the monkeys. 3) That's Sam. She's, well, a character. She's also one o' them "elite" folks. Those legs could almost keep up with Jeff. She's also the very best story of the day, which I'll get around to sooner or later. Nevermind. I'll do it now. And keep it short. Ish. If you look at the Monkey board, she really is a character. I won't even try to describe her. Except to say that she can run circles around me (and come to think of it, actually did). She's a former model, actress, current director/producer. That detail is important because it's what gave me my PR -- since she was pretty much just goofing off and running with us slowpokes for company, I made the truly BRILLIANT choice to ask a single question at about mile 4, after she talked a bit about that stuff. I said - "So .... you must have some good stories ... tell us a few ..." She was still talking 8 or 9 miles later. And since she's one o' them dramatic, artistic sorts of folks - not to mention having a mind perpetually in the gutter, which is always a plus - I had to keep up with her to keep the entertainment going. At mile 7 I noticed we were under 9:00 pace. Basically, if it weren't for her completely destroying my pre-race plan, I never would have run so fast. But that's not the story. This is: Like I said, she's an elite runner. Not sure what her PR is. Low 3:00 maybe? All I know is that when she got bored with us at about mile 12 and asked if she could go ahead (she was counting girls in front of her and wasn't going to let it be more than 2), she took off so fast that I was downright embarrassed. Like we were standing still. But she's also got bad knees. Really bad. One of her knee caps actually popped out at mile 7. So at mile 17, me and another guy running together come around a corner, and find Sam sitting on the trail. Obviously in pain. Knee all !$%@%ed up. She seemed okay; still messing with whatever you call that band you Tribe of the Bad Knee people wear. I full expected to see her again. Sure enough, at Mile 19, just as I was DYING, weeping, moaning, crying, bleeding, etc., (Did someone call it FUN?), I glanced back and saw her coming. But she never passed me. Poof. She'd vanished. Here's a confession: one thing that bugs me to no end is an attitude among some "elites" that, if they're not going to run something impressive, they might as well quit. I've seen it more than once. A 2:30 marathoner has a bad day, realizes she's gonna run a 2:50 ... and just steps off the course at mile 16. I understand their reasoning, but I still hate it. In my opinion, that just ain't what it's about. I have names for such people, but I'd get arrested if I said them in public. I'll take the fat guy running the 8:30 at the very back over that person any day. So back to Sam. She had absolutely nothing to prove. There was no reason for her to finish. She never really set out to run it fast. The girl was on vacation, for Pete's sake. And her knee was bad. She really couldn't WALK, not to mention run. Those downhills even hurt MY knees. And now, at long last, the punchline, and why it's my favorite story. She DID finish. She could barely walk. I mean, it was ugly. Basically couldn't bend one leg. And she gimped along like that for the last 7 miles. Her time was barely under FIVE hours, and she was used to doing it in closer to half that. In pain every step. On those frickin' hills. I can't even express how inspirational it was. Well, I could, but sensitive ears would be offended by the word choice. !@%!ing awesome. Coolest part of the day.

isn't she planning on running the rocket city and the CMM instead of boston? I think I read that. yeah i said fun....you are feeling the pain but i bet you run it again next year!

My goodness! My ears were burning this morning! Jake Night, you take my breath away! Thanks so much for those kind words. My kneecap started to shift at mile 6, then fully dislocated(again dangit) at about mile 13 or something I don't remember, I was having fun. The course was staggeringly beautiful and I had a delicious time. Every step was soul enhancing. I was waiting for the swelling to go down and my kneecap to realign, but my coach called yesterday and said 'bind that puppy up and get back on the road' He said I'll heal while I train. Between you and me, I was already going to do that today,I've got work to do for RC, no time for resting, but what an awesome coach,huh! Alright out the door, see how this puppy holds up, check back later. I've got some new jokes for Jake. granted we don'thave huge fallen down trees in our area of kansas, but I'll work with what I have. Thanks for the link Trent!

Wow, I get queasy just thinking about the pain from a dislocated knee. Run-of-the-mill shin splints usually have me walking. I'd say you have balls...but that wouldn't be accurate in this case... Welcome, Sam! k