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Feeling discouraged yet again (Read 1568 times)

vegefrog


    I read that as "more peace/bananas in your life".  

     

    haha. Me too. Peace and bananas...nothing wrong with that mentality! Smile

     

    But I do also agree that Spaniel offers good advice!!! With or without bananas!

      Ok so you all are awesome! I knew I would get great advice, as I always do here. I want to clear some things up first though. My resting hr is about 55. Right before I took on training for the half I did in November, I was playing around with the MAF running concept because I was once again discouraged and felt "lost" in the running world. I find that if I don't have something to aim for, like a race, or a training plan, I slack off on my running and struggle to find inspiration to get out there. 3 years ago I got pregnant. Before this time, my running was great ( in my opinion). I could run a 5 miler WITHOUT walking at a slow, but tolerable pace of about 11mm. I was happy running, and never dreamed of doing anything longer than a 10k. I struggle ALOT with the mental aspects of long distance running (like feeling my time might be better spent cleaning my messy house, or spending quality time with my family, or running those errands I never seem to get done). But I also need to run- to relieve some stress, to get a little escape from everyday life. But I'm also someone who like data. I like to see if my pace is improving. I like to watch my HR and correlate it with how I am feeling at the time. I like to plot all this crap over time and see if I can run more each month. So giving up the technical things would be extremely difficult for me. But I agree with the more experienced runners that this is probably exactly what I need. But I've already registered for the half in May. Do I just abandon the training plan now and go all hippie style running for a while. Do I have to go "find myself" in my running now?! Haha! This is the last thing I want to really stress in regards to my abilities......I do not live a lifestyle that enables me to run more than 3 days a week. I strive for at least 4 days a week and it always fails. It's just my life. Please don't take this as being negative (which kinda ticked me off when I was accused of this to be honest), I am simply being honest with myself. I work night shift 10 hr shifts half of my week, and then switch back to a day person for the other half of the week. I do this every week, for the past 6 years. The comstant switching up of my sleeping habits already takes a tough toll on me. I am a full-time career woman, a wife, and a mother to a 2 year old toddler. Any of you who have children should immediately understand this added difficulty to any lifestyle! So when I say that running 3 times a week is hard enough for me to pull off, please know that I am serious! I'm already dreading running anything longer than 7 miles in this training plan because of the sheer time suck it presents to me. Maybe i do have to seriously re-think the way I approach running right now. Working on improving my aerobic capacity is my main goal so if I need to completely start over and throw all my running tricks out the window, maybe it's time to really consider doing that. I just don't know. This is why I always feel conflicted. This is exactly why I got involved with my mini-running group and coach, but it seems to be making running life even more difficult for me. I would love to find a partner who coul hang with my slow pace enough so that I could actually understand what it's like to hold a conversation while running! But I just don't know anybody with similar fairness levels to me right now. Thanks again for all the valuable insight thus far. I really appreciate the fact that you guys take the time to listen, mull it all over in your heads, and then sit down to type me such long and thoughtful replies.

      Cewickbe:

       

      I don't have a lot of time for I'm about to head into a meeting but I just wanted to say one thing--I think you're getting a lot of good legit advices from various legit individuals here so I don't have anything more to add to but one thing really stuck to me from reading your post, as some other people have picked up as well, is your attitude toward running itself.  

       

      I helped this young Japanese man to come and live in Victoria, BC, 2 years ago (he's still there by the way).  His parents weren't supporting his idea...well, no, I take it back.  It's not so much that they were against him going abroad.  It's more of him feeling guilty about leaving them and also asking (financial) support from them.  One thing I really emphasize to him is that parents are supposed to be stepped over by their kids!! (;o)).  I, for one, left my parents and went to Australia and then came to the US.  If anything, I feel even more bad now for my parents.  But I actually feel more strongly about what I've done.  As a parent myself now, the worst thing is to feel that my own kid holding back from what they could have done because of me.  Him saying that he probably shouldn't go abroad to study because of his parents is just a convenient excuse not to try out something possibly scary and a lot of hard work so years later when his life ended up being so ordinary and boring, he can turn around and say; "Well, if only it's not for my parents, I could have been..."

       

      One thing I really respect my wife is; when our daughter was born, and she herself was a working mom (though by then I took over ALL the cooking at home!!), that's when she really started to be more serious about running.  "THIS is MY time," she said and she actually took some effort to remove herself from everything and focused on running  = her time.  If she's not 100% happy, how can she expect to make others happy?  Again, many moms seem to use that as an excuse; "I'm sacrificing my life for my husband and kids and that's why I couldn't be what I could have..."  That's a very convenient excuse.  All due respect, if you're driving to a gym or some club to get together with your friend to run or workout, at your level, that driving would be better spent just running for 20-minutes everyday.  When our daughter was born, the only time for me to run was early in the morning (because my wife took the evening time-zone).  I had a "normal" job from 8 to 5 and I had to leave by 7:15 so I would get up at 4 and out the door by 4:30--this could get pretty nasty in MN winter at times.  I used to lay out my running outfit and socks and shoes all lined up leading to the door (that was my excuse not to tidy up!!), a trick I learnt from Marty Liquori, so I wouldn't think anything of it; get up, put them on, and out I went.  I'm not saying that everybody would have to be as obsessed or dedicated as I was or, it sounds like Spaniel is or at least once was (;o)).  But my point is; don't give a cheap excuse; it's YOUR choice whether you want to do it or not.  And it's not fair to use your family as an excuse that you have to restrict yourself.

       

      I know you need an inspiration, motivation, and I'm not giving it.  But it has to come from within.  I always maintained here that I'm not a cheerleader.  There others who can do that much better than me.  Those who don't have the inner inspiration would always seek it outside and never be satisfied with it.  Internet really changed the whole dynamics of that kind of things and we can get anything from anywhere, any time.  Many seek some training advice and they get more than enough information instantly.  But at the end of the day, whether he/she actually does it or not is totally up to that individual.  


      Feeling the growl again

          If she's not 100% happy, how can she expect to make others happy?  Again, many moms seem to use that as an excuse; "I'm sacrificing my life for my husband and kids and that's why I couldn't be what I could have..."  That's a very convenient excuse.  All due respect, if you're driving to a gym or some club to get together with your friend to run or workout, at your level, that driving would be better spent just running for 20-minutes everyday. 

         

        +1.  All relationships/families are different, but I really empower my wife to take that 40-60min each day to get exercise.  A) it's good for her mentally and physically, B) it's good for the kids to see exercise as a NORMAL, EXPECTED part of the routine of BOTH parents.

         

        Plus in my case I'd twice asked her if she would support me through cumbersome training periods that would guarantee that she would spend much time waiting for me to finish runs or scheduling everything around runs and she said yes both times.....so I figure I owe her for many years to come for that selfless support....

        "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

         

          haha. Me too. Peace and bananas...nothing wrong with that mentality! Smile

           

          But I do also agree that Spaniel offers good advice!!! With or without bananas!

           

           

          bananas are good with or w/o advice

              Many seek some training advice and they get more than enough information instantly.  But at the end of the day, whether he/she actually does it or not is totally up to that individual.  

              

             

            +1

             

              and with this great piece of truth from Nobby, think I will go have another banana

              Yeah, I'm starting to realize that maybe the reason Ive been struggling with running lately is because I DO make it so stressful.  I wig out when I don't get my run in for a particular day because I know with my schedule I probably won't get a re-do, I would just have to nix that whole run altogether.  Then I feel like I'm not completing my training plan, which then leads to me getting upset even more that I'll be busting my ass to get the required runs in and still not do good on the HM, which in turn makes me upset even more.  And I guess Ive been secretly taking it out on my husband, or at least thinking of taking it out on him.

               

              I gotta take a few steps back.  Its gonna kill me if I bow out of the HM, but I'm thinking that it might be better for me right now.  Sticking to runs that I can do without walking for a while, and then eventually building up from there.  The only reason I ever signed up for the first HM was to see if I could finish it.  I had no time goal, but because I had times during the race where I needed to step out and A. Go to the bathroom, or B. stretch, I know that if given the chance, and ideal conditions, I could probably take a bunch of time off my finishing time.  So I signed up for another one.   But its 10x harder getting the runs in now.

               

              I can feel my IT band acting up again, probably because I keep pushing myself too much and dont take the time to stretch and roll out my legs.  If it hurts this early in the game, I am probably doomed very shortly anyway. 

               

              So how do I break it to myself that I should forget about any further HM training and go back to the beginning with my running?  In my heart I know it would do wonders for me, for my mood and probably for my family.  But my stubborn mind tells me to just stick it out until the race and then cut back.  I dont think I can last till May (when the race is) like this though. 

               

              I'm gonna go chew on this now for the rest of the week probably.  I'm also gonna go back and re-read everyone's posts again and really let them sink in.  

               

              Damn this sucks.  I'm not a quitter and thats what I feel like.   Sad


              Maggie & Molly

                I am definately not one of the more knowledgable folks on this board but I am going to share this with you.  Last year I signed up for a half.  I did not train appropriately (no reason other than me) and I hurt my leg.   Simply overtrained at the end - sort of crash course studying for a big exam!  Anyway, I had to heal and that took a long time (still have to be very careful to make sure I am using my stick to massage my leg, etc) anyway, I made the decision that coming into 2012 I would not sign up for any races at all.  I would just run when I could, at various paces and for various lengths.  That is what I am doing.  This past weekend I ran 7 miles.  Probably my longest run in well over six months.  It felt awesome.  I am happy.  I will admit that for 1/2 a second I thought hmmm, maybe I should sign up for New Bedford - nope.   I am just running to run right now.  I'm rambling but I guess I'm trying to say running can be fun and enjoyable.  Just go when you can, for as long as you can and don't worry about the rest for now. 

                 "It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop."
                Wisdom of Confucius

                HF 4363


                Feeling the growl again

                   

                   

                  So how do I break it to myself that I should forget about any further HM training and go back to the beginning with my running?  In my heart I know it would do wonders for me, for my mood and probably for my family.  But my stubborn mind tells me to just stick it out until the race and then cut back.  I dont think I can last till May (when the race is) like this though. 

                   

                   

                   

                  It sounds like you already know what you need to know.  If you let stubbornness win, and that's the only reason you go through with it, you'l make yourself miserable now....and potentially after, when you are burned out and/or hurt as a result and no further along than you were before.

                   

                  I say do what you have to do in order to get to where you enjoy it.  If you don't enjoy it, running will eventually be a "has been" activity for you.  I think that's a bad long-term outcome.

                  "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

                   

                  Scout7


                  CPT Curmudgeon

                    I can relate to the mental roller coaster ride, because I've done it to myself.  It sucks.

                     

                    I ended up getting so pissed off at running, and everything else, that I stopped.  I lost all interest in racing and running and doing anything.  During that time off, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about things; what I wanted, why I kept beating myself up, what I was doing, etc. etc. ad nauseum.  Eventually, I got to a point where I can now have a much better conversation with myself about running.  It's now enjoyable again.  I can enjoy getting out the door for 20 or 30 or 40 minutes, and not get upset if I miss a day.

                     

                    It takes time, it takes work, but eventually you come out the other side a better person for it.

                      Run. Just run. Every day, if you can. And if you can't, then when you can. If it's important to you, make the time for it. Do that, and be a runner.

                       

                      Or don't. But then you won't be a runner.

                      It should be mathematical, but it's not.


                      Consistently Slow

                        It sounds like you already know what you need to know.  If you let stubbornness win, and that's the only reason you go through with it, you'l make yourself miserable now....and potentially after, when you are burned out and/or hurt as a result and no further along than you were before.

                         

                        I say do what you have to do in order to get to where you enjoy it.  If you don't enjoy it, running will eventually be a "has been" activity for you.  I think that's a bad long-term outcome.

                         

                        +1

                        Run until the trail runs out.

                        2013***1500 miles

                        50 miler

                        Race Less Train More

                         

                        Ana Trason  "Living Her Life"

                        "The Marble in The Groove"

                         

                        unsolicited chatter

                        http://bkclay.blogspot.com/

                          Chrissy,   you are not a failure or a quitter!  follow Troy's advice & the advice from others here & find the right balance.  Sometimes we need to have a reality check & then make adjustments.

                           

                          Not sure how much you can relate to my experience from last year but as I was training for my 1st full marathon in 30 years I gave up quite a few family or other opportunities just to get my mileage in, especially the LR on Sundays.  There were many days that I should have backed off or taken extra days off here & there.  But I was on a mission & a plan & had to complete it.  As a result I developed a bad case of plantar fasicitias & ended up DNS for the marathon.  I gave up hiking/camping trips with friends, outings with the family, kayaking & other things that I enjoyed doing.  Also all my 5k times were slower than previous years.  Overall on the surface it was a very disappointing year running & family wise. But No regrets. Instead of looking at it as disappointing & being depressed I have chosen to look at it as a year of learning & another year of base building.  and then this year I am making an adjustment in training/goals.  no marathon training (maybe a HM) & seeking a much more balanced training plan that will allow more flexibility for other fun activities that I missed out on last year. limiting my mileage & "forcing" myself to take extra days off.  Less stress, more fun & hope for better 5k times!     balance, balance, balance

                           

                          In your case work on more consistency & slowly progressing, relax, find that right balance. 

                          danadearest


                            Lunch hour runs.  That's all I have to add.  I assume you get an hour for lunch or dinner on whatever shift you work?  Run for 30-45 mins every day.  It takes some getting used to, and sacrifice.  I give up looking cute after I run.  Smile  I basically look like a drowned cat after my lunch hour run and shower.  I eat on my two breaks of the work day.  It's worth it to me though because it's the only way I can get my mileage up with my schedule.  I work two jobs. 

                              I'll add some useless advice and anecdotes, too!

                              1. I ran back in school, then took a 20+ year break before picking it back up 2.5 years ago.  Married, kid, and long-hours job make scheduling tight ... but I love running, so I find a way to squeeze in "my time".  There's some improvising to be done pretty regularly, but I accept that it's just part of the deal.
                              2. I like to race.  But there's no one race that's THE race I MUST run.  Take the long view: you enjoy running, you're going to be doing it for more than the next six months, and there are tons of HMs you can run.  If beating your inaugural time is important, then do it right -- let yourself get some aerobic base, then pick a race and do some damage!  But you're in it for the long haul.  There's no rush.
                              3. My wife and I used to watch What Not To Wear, and a good percentage of the nominated bad-dressers were moms who'd lost or suppressed their own identities in service of the family.  Invariably, there was a catharsis when these women realized that not only was it permissible for them to pay themselves some attention (gasp!), but that their husbands and children were thrilled that they did so.  If running 30min/day makes you a better person/wife/mother/coworker/friend, then why deny everyone the gift of that better you?  Why deny yourself?

                              Oh, and +1 to what spaniel, Troy and everyone else said. Cool

                              “Everything you need is already inside.” -- Bill Bowerman

                                ...

                                2. I like to race.  But there's no one race that's THE race I MUST run.  Take the long view: you enjoy running, you're going to be doing it for more than the next six months, and there are tons of HMs you can run.  If beating your inaugural time is important, then do it right -- let yourself get some aerobic base, then pick a race and do some damage!  But you're in it for the long haul.  There's no rush.

                                 

                                +1.

                                For me, the MOST important thing was the lifestyle change.  When I started, I didn't count miles, weigh myself, check my HR, or wear special running clothes.  I think I bough a decent pair of running shoes though.  I didn't race at all.  I just ran as often as I could (3 - 5 days / week).


                                Eventually, (7 years later), I realized that there were local 5k races and 10k races and other bigger races.  Since then, I've enjoyed those.  But during my first 7 years of running, I didn't race.  Didn't know there were races, and had no desire to participate in them.  It didn't match my families entertainment goals, my wife's goals, and it also would have been a challenge with the kiddo (or so I thought).

                                 

                                Interestingly, my wife started running in the fall of 2008, and a couple months later a friend of hers asked her to participate in a local 5k.  She said "yes".  I also joined.  She won her "frick'n" age group with only about 50 - 75 total miles run in her life... I finished middle of the pack at best.  Since then, it's been my goal to get a dang medal. Smile 

                                 

                                Actually, not really looking to get faster than I am, so, I'll wait for people to stop running when they're in their 60s, and I hope to get age group awards in my 70s.  Until  then, I'll keep plugging away and training for the next 30 years with the goal of winning an age group award in the mid-2040s.  If one comes sooner, I might retire from running, and I don't want to retire.

                                 

                                Take the long view, and enjoy every step of every run.  Enjoy the sounds, the smells, and the sights.  Enjoy the feel of the fresh air and also enjoy the little pain you have following the run as you know that you're developing muscles.

                                2014 Goals:

                                #1: Do what I can do. <DOING>

                                #2: 365 Hours training <NOPE, INJURED>

                                 

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