Wedding weight loss vs running? (Read 1711 times)


Feeling the growl again

     And I"m not sure who is more messed up: the OP or the mum.

     

    Well, I think this is a bit dismissive of the complexities of a mother/daughter relationship...especially with a wedding involved.

    "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

     

    LadyAudley


      I don't really have any advice, but I can sympathize with this somewhat.  There is a LOT of pressure on brides to be about 10 lbs skinnier than their regular weight.  I am getting married in 9 days, and I've been hearing it since the day we got engaged.  Every dress shop I went to, a well-meaning saleslady would ask me how much weight I intended to lose.  My weight is normal, so I always said NONE.  And then they would laugh knowingly and say, "I'll put 5 lbs.  Brides always lose a little weight."

       

      The truth is that I wouldn't have minded losing the Bridal Ten, but that would not have been a weight I could have maintained, and I could just imagine it being a few months after the wedding and someone is looking through my skinny wedding day pictures and thinking, "my GOD, she has really porked up since then!"

       

      ETA:  Just in case this is a real post, even though it's pretty suspect.

       

      Thank you for understanding!  It's true - everyone does expect it!  And with people who work or have links with fashion, it's even worse.   

       

      As I said in my original post, I was 100-105lbs for years.  It's what I think of as my natural weight.  (I don't have an eating disorder.  My build is very, very slight!).  The reason I added 20lbs in a year (which is massively rapid gain - and pretty unhealthy) was because I had anaemia and literally could barely walk upstairs, let alone work out or run.  But I could still eat chocolate and I did a lot of that because I felt totally miserable being stuck indoors and feeling crap!  

       

      ETA: Thanks Spaniel, too.  

        If I may say so, You are quite attractive as you are right now.  Not sure where you'd lose 25 % of your current weight from.

         

        LadyAudley


          Thanks Happyfeet!  You made my day.  

           

          Also, not trying to put anyone's nose out of joint, but I am not sure why the asthma thing is controversial??  Many literature reviews show a decrease in asthma symptoms with weight loss!!

           

          http://thorax.bmj.com/content/63/8/671.

          http://search.healthcentral.com/query?ver=asthma&q=obesity%2C+asthma&collection=asthma&ic=506010&x=0&y=0

           

          (NB Yes, I know I am not clinically obese!  But there is no reason why the same mechanisms at work in these patients couldn't be behind the improvement I perceive in my asthma symptoms between 120 and 100 lbs).  

          xor


            You have a bunch of people here trying to give you well-meaning advice.  You are replying to the ones who are being complimentary, but please step back and look at the overall theme of the advice you are being given.

             

            And watch out for the pattern of obsessive exercise and disordered eating.

             

            Good luck with your wedding, and cancer sucks.

             

            And sorry for not quite buying into this thread.  Certain things don't add up for me. Most likely, that's more about me than anything else.

             

            LadyAudley


              Sorry, I don't mean only to reply to the compliments!  I just don't enjoy conflict.  I had genuinely no idea this was going to be such a hot button issue.  This is the first running forum I've ever posted on, and I guess I have a lot to learn about the mentality of what makes really excellent runners.  I apologize!

              Scout7


              CPT Curmudgeon

                Sorry, I don't mean only to reply to the compliments!  I just don't enjoy conflict.  I had genuinely no idea this was going to be such a hot button issue.  This is the first running forum I've ever posted on, and I guess I have a lot to learn about the mentality of what makes really excellent runners.  I apologize!

                 

                What you're seeing isn't really related to the mentality of excellent runners.  It's more of the mentality of concerned group that take an interest in its members, but all of them have differing perspectives on what is healthy, safe, and on even more subjective topics like appearance and goals.

                 

                Personally, I have no real opinion on your weight loss goals, and only a level of sympathy for having to deal with family when it comes to weddings (I have been there, and it was not something I wish to repeat any time soon).

                 

                That being said, I think that, whatever your reasoning, you have received some decent advice on how to go about getting ready for the wedding, and then the marathon.

                 

                I wish you best of luck, and hope that you continue to give updates and be involved, asking questions and providing input.


                Needs more cowbell!

                  On a tangent...the best thing any couple can do for themselves is pay for their own wedding, even if it means having a very modest affair.  Then they don't have to feel obligated to bow to the wishes of anyone but themselves.

                   

                  And I say BS to the notion that the wedding day is or should be about anybody other than the bride and groom.  If that's how it is, then you're (the couple) doing it wrong.

                  I shoot pretty things! ~

                  '14 Goals:

                  • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

                  • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


                  HobbyJogger & HobbyRacer

                    Awwww, you're so lovely!  I'm so overwhelmed by how much y'all care about how I'm doing and me staying healthy.  I didn't think that this would be such a controversial thread.  

                     

                    Imagine this summary -- which is probably not fair -- but for a second, imagine it:

                     

                    "I have to lose weight to make my mother happy, and to make her think I look good."

                     

                    Perhaps you could see how saying that could cause negative reactions and controversy. (Not that you actually said that, but what you said made me think of that theme.)

                    It's a 5k. It hurt like hell...then I tried to pick it up. The end.


                    Feeling the growl again

                      On a tangent...the best thing any couple can do for themselves is pay for their own wedding, even if it means having a very modest affair.  Then they don't have to feel obligated to bow to the wishes of anyone but themselves.

                        

                       

                      They may not have to feel it, but that doesn't mean the attempts to influence/control won't be there.  Don't ask me how I know that.

                      "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

                       


                      Needs more cowbell!

                        They may not have to feel it, but that doesn't mean the attempts to influence/control won't be there.  Don't ask me how I know that.

                         

                        Therein lies the beauty of living in a different state from either set of parents. Evil

                        I shoot pretty things! ~

                        '14 Goals:

                        • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

                        • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

                          Like Julia, I'm not convinced this post is for real.  But if it is...

                           

                          You're only six months out from the wedding.  Most likely, your dress took 4 - 6 from the time your mom picked it out to the time it arrived at the bridal salon.  During that time, you did not lose the weight, which is totally fine, but you've got to be honest with yourself now about how much you are likely to lose over the next 6 months.

                           

                          Lose whatever weight you can over the next 6-8 weeks.  In the meantime, find the best alterations person around.  Luckily for you, you have contacts in fashion so this shouldn't be too hard.  See what can be done with the dress.  If you're way far off from your goal, consider a back up dress.  Better to have a size 4 dress that fits perfectly than a size 0 dress that fits like a sausage casing. 

                           

                          And for the love of God, do not, do not, do NOT bring your mom to the fittings, even if she cries. 

                          Amy


                          A Saucy Wench

                            We paid for our own wedding and my mom didnt do anything but come to the wedding and the wedding STiLL had nothing to do with us.  We got married in dh's hometown as my family is scattered and there are Ft. Wayne traditions that I would NEVER have at my wedding except they just do them without thinking about it because "that is how weddings are done" 

                            I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets

                             

                            "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7


                            Feeling the growl again

                              Therein lies the beauty of living in a different state from either set of parents. Evil

                               

                              1500 miles wasn't enough Wink

                              "If you want to be a bad a$s, then do what a bad a$s does.  There's your pep talk for today.  Go Run." -- Slo_Hand

                               


                              HobbyJogger & HobbyRacer

                                Remember, what's really important is when the gun goes off. Don't pay any attention to the bride's mother, even if both her legs twitch.

                                It's a 5k. It hurt like hell...then I tried to pick it up. The end.