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| Has anyone ever hired a PI ? (Read 635 times) |
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posted: 10/8/2008 at 2:09 PM
modified: 10/8/2008 at 2:10 PM |
| Just curious. I would bet my life that DH would never cheat, but everyone keeps telling me he's got to be cheating. ( we're going thru a separation/divorce ) I'll admit, things really arn't adding up here. Starting to think I need some proof. Wondering if anyone has any expereince with this. In the long run, it really doesn't matter. But, I'd like to know. |
- Anya
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posted: 10/8/2008 at 3:01 PM |
| Quote from Anya_ on 10/8/2008 at 2:09 PM: In the long run, it really doesn't matter.
I found proof on my own, but it didn't really make anything better for me. No amount of analysis on my part will change the fact that I was part of a failed marriage, so in the long run it really doesn't matter to me.
For someone who is actually invested in the marriage, it's a horrible experience at best. To survive, I had to kill off the love I had for my wife leaving behind a black hole that I filled with hatred. That's not even a good short term solution, in the long term it would have slowly killed me. I had to grieve the death of my marriage, and let a lot of things go before I could hope to find healing and a measure of happiness. The delay in reaching that decision is one of my bigger regrets.
Many have tread essentially the same path but it is still a painfully personal experience, so evaluate even the most heartfelt suggestions carefully to see if they make sense for you.
Wishing you the best, take good care of yourself.
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Ed
Tuesday Good Times 5K series in Lowell, MA (So sad it's over)
2008: HTFU and BQ at BayState Marathon
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy |
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| view log Tolstoy |
posted: 10/8/2008 at 7:19 PM |
I hear this guy's really good.
I like pi
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Ben
"A jug fills drop by drop"--Budda
Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
I don't know, but I've been told
You never slow down, you never grow old |
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| view log Non ducor, duco. |
posted: 10/8/2008 at 7:32 PM |
| Quote from Anya_ on 10/8/2008 at 2:09 PM: Just curious. I would bet my life that DH would never cheat, but everyone keeps telling me he's got to be cheating. ( we're going thru a separation/divorce ) I'll admit, things really arn't adding up here. Starting to think I need some proof. Wondering if anyone has any expereince with this. In the long run, it really doesn't matter. But, I'd like to know.
Save your money. You are likely to need it.
Also, I would recommend that you spend a week without any input from people that are advising you currently. Go to a bar and tell a stranger if you have to. The time alone will allow you to think through the entire mess more clearly without the filter of those that are trying to help.
Im sorry to hear you are going through this and wish you peace.
MTA: Tom Selleck is still hot. |
I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Mae West |
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Guy running in pink |
posted: 10/8/2008 at 7:40 PM |
Apologies for asking a personal question, but you did post a very personal thing...
If you are going through a divorce, then does it really matter if he's with someone else?
I'm not intending this as a trick question for laying down a judgment.
If you are trying to prove a pattern and maybe uncover a longstanding arrangement that will provide you with a bigger piece of the settlement pie and affect something like custody for kids, then MAYBE.
For any other reason, I wouldn't. It will not provide you peace of mind. It will not make you feel better. It will not make you "right".
Either way, it is probably going to be a big expense. And it may not provide you with the results you predict.
Having been through an eeriely similar situation, I have empathy and sympathy... given that I have really no information. It isn't a pleasant situation and it won't quickly resolve.
But it WILL resolve and life will continue. Chin up. In my case, we became friends later. |
| With realistic Pants-on-Fire action! |
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posted: 10/8/2008 at 7:49 PM |
| Quote from andahuff on 10/8/2008 at 7:32 PM:
MTA: Tom Selleck is still old.
Yeah. Sad. Like David Hasselhoff, but cooler.
When I read this thread earlier, I bet myself Magnum would show up by the start of the second page. Once again, you people are out-performing expectations. Well done. |
E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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posted: 10/8/2008 at 8:15 PM |
| Quote from JakeKnight on 10/8/2008 at 7:49 PM: Yeah. Sad. Like David Hasselhoff, but cooler.
Mannix was tougher than both...he got shot more times than Fifty Cent.
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posted: 10/8/2008 at 8:39 PM |
| Quote from Anya_ on 10/8/2008 at 2:09 PM: we're going thru a separation/divorce
This is such a touchy subject (and I don't want to say the wrong thing), but if you are going thru a seperation/divorce then it 'seems' to me like it doesnt/shouldn't matter. If you are NOT going thru a seperation/divorce then its a whole different story and it is definately a very big deal.
At any rate, I doubt Im any help, but I want to wish you the very best of luck and I hope everything works out for you......
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2009 RUNNING GOALSs
-40MPW average
-5K time of 23:59 or faster
-5 Mile time of 42:59 or faster
-Half Marathon - 1Hr 59mins or faster
-Run The 2009 Baystate Marathon (Ill be happy with any time)
2009 weight to 135lbs (down from current 147lbs - but ultimately weighed 167 before I started running)
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| view log Non ducor, duco. |
posted: 10/8/2008 at 8:46 PM
modified: 10/8/2008 at 9:05 PM |
| Quote from JakeKnight on 10/8/2008 at 7:49 PM: Yeah. Sad. Like David Hasselhoff, but cooler.
When I read this thread earlier, I bet myself Magnum would show up by the start of the second page. Once again, you people are out-performing expectations. Well done.
Wrong gorilla. The thought of Selleck with a Taurus is hot. Hasselfhoff cries at American Idol. Selleck would never do that.
MTA: You live in Annapolis?? Hmmm, cadets.
MTA2: I meant hmmm....as in yum...At least they provide a nice visual distraction. |
I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Mae West |
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| view log Can't run? Go play. |
posted: 10/8/2008 at 9:15 PM
modified: 10/8/2008 at 9:16 PM |
| I would echo srlopez and baddawg's comments, Anya. I see no merit in paying good $$ to allow your friends or family say, "See, we told you so" if another relationship proved to be true. This will offer you no peace of mind. Are you still planning on coming back to Michigan? |
Rick
"The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare." - Juma Ikangaa
"I wanna go fast." Ricky Bobby
runningforcassy.blogspot.com
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posted: 10/8/2008 at 9:22 PM |
| Quote from andahuff on 10/8/2008 at 7:32 PM: Save your money. You are likely to need it.
Im sorry to hear you are going through this and wish you peace.
MTA: Tom Selleck is still hot.
Knowing will not make it easier. Avoid BadDawg's "black hole" . I have been there and it is a really dark place.
Best of luck!  |
Run until the trail runs out
2008 TARGET 150 MONTH
2009 TARGET 40/40 |
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posted: 10/9/2008 at 9:20 AM |
| God Bless you Anya,, I'll be praying for you. |
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posted: 10/9/2008 at 12:29 PM |
| Quote from JakeKnight on 10/8/2008 at 7:49 PM: Yeah. Sad. Like David Hasselhoff, but cooler.
When I read this thread earlier, I bet myself Magnum would show up by the start of the second page. Once again, you people are out-performing expectations. Well done.
I finally get the Magnum PI thing. D'oh ! |
- Anya
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posted: 10/9/2008 at 12:34 PM
modified: 10/9/2008 at 12:42 PM |
| Quote from rvelich on 10/8/2008 at 9:15 PM: I would echo srlopez and baddawg's comments, Anya. I see no merit in paying good $$ to allow your friends or family say, "See, we told you so" if another relationship proved to be true. This will offer you no peace of mind. Are you still planning on coming back to Michigan?
I have been really scared over the whole economy thing. I'm planning on seeing what I can do here, if I fail, I'll come back. My insticts are telling me to stick it out here. But, my family is also calling me. I'm torn. If I knew I could find a good job, I'd be more inclined. I just don't know!
Trying to find a place out here is crazy. I'm 40, and it looks like I;ll have to get a roommate? I'm not sure I can really handle that.
Thanks all.
I guess you're right. I dont want to turn into a hateful person. I just really want to move on. I really thought I found the one guy who was responsible and honest. But I do admit making many, many mistakes. Up until I found out he possibly was cheating, I would have done anything to save this marriage. Now, I'm just ready to move on. Getting some good therapy and hopefully one day can find a loving relationship. It won't be for while.
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- Anya
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posted: 10/9/2008 at 12:43 PM |
| Quote from Go PRE on 10/9/2008 at 9:20 AM: God Bless you Anya,, I'll be praying for you.
Thanks so much ! |
- Anya
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