Pages: 1 |
| To the Furbabies: (Read 191 times) |
| view log October 5...Freak Out! |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 3:37 PM |
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our
Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"niture. )
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
And finally,
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. |
Kirsten
• Ladies Locker Room •
.: 2008 Goals :.
• Get down to 123#s and STAY there!
• Run 1500 miles
• October 5 - 1st marathon - Milwaukee Lakefront - in my home state of WI
• PRs: 5k ~ 15k ~ 25k |
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Scout7 view logCPT Curmudgeon |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 3:40 PM |
Also, they can be fixed so they don't get pregnant (or impregnate others), and this is considered being responsible.
They also don't invite dirty punks over to the house when they think you aren't around, in order to fool around with them in the bedroom. |
Amat victoria curam.
Sine labore nihil.
Dulcius ex asperis. |
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| view log October 5...Freak Out! |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 5:02 PM |
| Quote from Scout7 on 2/15/2007 at 3:40 PM: They also don't invite dirty punks over to the house when they think you aren't around, in order to fool around with them in the bedroom.
Heck, when my cats see dirty punks in the yard they flip out with intense hatred and attack the window!
k
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Kirsten
• Ladies Locker Room •
.: 2008 Goals :.
• Get down to 123#s and STAY there!
• Run 1500 miles
• October 5 - 1st marathon - Milwaukee Lakefront - in my home state of WI
• PRs: 5k ~ 15k ~ 25k |
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| view log |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 5:23 PM |
| Quote from Scout7 on 2/15/2007 at 3:40 PM: They also don't invite dirty punks over to the house when they think you aren't around, in order to fool around with them in the bedroom.
Yeah. It doesn't matter if you're around! My cats welcomed every Tom Dick and Harry!
Hey.
Think about that. 
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| Nothing rhymes with Winkle |
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| view log |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 7:46 PM |
Dear Zoomy,
You only close the kitchen door when there is food out and leave it open the rest of the time. That way we know there is something good in there. In the future, please be sure to leave the door open all the time so we dont drool from the dining room. We of course would never consider jumping on the table and sampling your food if you agree to this plan! 
Please add a racetrack to your living room. Your kids get train tracks, why cant we have a racetrack?
Please be sure to sleep as close to the edges of the bed so we can have the middle for ourselves. We are smaller than you and if you roll on us, we will be very angry. If you dont like that, there are really nice cushions on the floor which I am told should be very comfy for sleeping and naps.
You get new running shoes every 300 miles. We deserve new tennis balls every 300 fetches.
About the bathroom: do you enjoy going in the cold on the grass with lots of cars and people around? Neither do I! You may not need supervision, but I learn by watching. Please demonstrate so I can learn. You potty-train your kids, why not your us?
Quote from zoom-zoom on 2/15/2007 at 3:37 PM:To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
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| How I feel these days...
This helps too! |
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| view log |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 9:38 PM |
| that's cute! |
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| view log esq. |
posted: 2/15/2007 at 11:11 PM |
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
canine or feline attendance is not required.
If only my cat could understand this ... |
| 2009: BQ? |
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