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| In honor of Mother's Day (Read 212 times) |
| view log Wish I were there |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM |
Things Mom Would Never Say
"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
"Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"
"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve" |
~Michelle
Southeastern PA Group
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different. - Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes |
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| view log Wish I were there |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM
modified: 5/8/2008 at 1:21 PM |
A Mother's Dictionary
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
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~Michelle
Southeastern PA Group
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different. - Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes |
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| view log NFL starts when? |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 1:40 PM |
I made a pic collage of the kids and added this little poem I found to it. I'm guessing most mothers out there can relate:
BEFORE I WAS A MOM
Author Unknown
Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers
Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
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| Run like hell. |
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| view log True. |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 2:58 PM
modified: 5/8/2008 at 2:59 PM |
| Quote from Mississippi on 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM:
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
*snort*
Quote from Mississippi on 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM:
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
*guffaw*
Quote from Mississippi on 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM:
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
Can't. Stop. Laughing!~
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Michael
Revised 2008 Goals: Get to 160#s | 1000K
2008 Plan
Live Well 5K 32:28! (5/11) | Htfd Race For The Cure 5K 36:57 (6/7)
Lightfoot 3M 33:25 (6/14), 5M 1:06:10(6/28), New Haven Labor Day 5K 34:58 (9/2)
Manchester Thanksgiving Day Race
2009 Goals
NJ Marathon | New Haven Labor Day 20K | NYC Marathon
"The race goes not always to the swift, but to those that keep running." * ~ Unknown |
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| view log |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 3:11 PM |
| Quote from Mississippi on 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM: A Mother's Dictionary
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
My favorite because it is sooooo true. My poor third-born. By the time we had her we wanted nothign to do with pacifiers and I think we took it away from her at 4 months.
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"80% of success is showing up." ~ Woody Allen
"Go that way... really fast. If something gets in your way... turn." ~ Charles DeMar
God doesn't give you what you want. He gives you what you need, the rest is up to you. |
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| view log |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 4:44 PM
modified: 5/8/2008 at 4:45 PM |
| Quote from Mississippi on 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM: I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"
I have actually said this. More than once.
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| view log Girl On The Run |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 4:49 PM |
| Quote from Mississippi on 5/8/2008 at 1:20 PM: Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Poor Dane...I never boiled/sterilized anything...and never freaked-out too much when he would eat dust bunnies off the floor as an infant. Kid has never once been on antibiotics, no ear infections, and I don't think has ever had a cold last more than 3 days (though he does seem to have mild seasonal allergies like mine). Dirt's good stuff.  |
Kirsten . . . --> GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS <--
• Ladies Locker Room •
.: 2008 Goals :.
• Run 1500 miles
• October 5 - 1st marathon - Milwaukee Lakefront - in my home state of WI
• PRs: 5k ~ 15k ~ 25k |
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| view log |
posted: 5/8/2008 at 11:02 PM |
Quote from zoom-zoom on 5/8/2008 at 4:49 PM:Poor Dane...I never boiled/sterilized anything...and never freaked-out too much when he would eat dust bunnies off the floor as an infant. Kid has never once been on antibiotics, no ear infections, and I don't think has ever had a cold last more than 3 days (though he does seem to have mild seasonal allergies like mine). Dirt's good stuff.
I agree. My kids are happy, healthy products of the "five second rule" and my sister's kids are allergic to everything under the sun. Too much cleanliness isn't good for you. |
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