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| Till Death Do Us Part? (Read 1093 times) |
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posted: 4/15/2008 at 8:54 PM |
| My husband is a wack job, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I would freak out if I was single. Ugggh! |
- Anya
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posted: 4/16/2008 at 10:57 AM |
Quote from HarmonyC01 on 4/15/2008 at 3:20 PM:My wife (ex now) got me to take dance lessons....then she left me for the instructor  ...true story.
That's horrible biketm i'm sorry that happened...remind me never to take any lessons! 
GinRun when we first met i found out he knew how to dance...we used to go out every thursday and saturday night! Eventually we started dating and we dont have time to go out as much as we used too but i'm very passionate about dancing so i make him take me out (we always go see the dance movies too LOL) 
I'm actually from Washington State but i've lived here in shreveport for about 3 years...most of my fiance's family is from here. It's grown on me!
The original post was about 2 people that were married and one of them stopped being a runner and the other was still a marathoner and and they ended up getting divorced because they grew apart. The questions was whether serious runners should only date/marry other serious runners. I thought it was a good question!  </quote>
Biketm- so sorry about your marriage! Maybe dance lessons wouldn't be as fun as I though!
My husband ran when he was training to become a fireman (before he knew me). He was hardcore for years. He started mainly working out at the gym by the time we got together. I decided to start running on my own because I needed to lose some college weight and I loved watching runners in the park, their dedication. He says he's going to start up again. I don't feel that it's a huge problem now that we don't have kids, but when we do and I need that time to myself, who knows. I'm hoping he does start so I don't feel quite so guilty! He always tried to slow me down, saying that three miles a day is fine, but my outlook on life has done a 360 (for the better) so he doesn't argue much!
Harmony: Shreveport, wow! That must have been a change for you! Not many people move to Louisiana, I think most move away! The food is amazing though. I go to see my family but mostly I visit to eat!
If I could ever get my husband to see dance movies it would be a miracle! I'm envious!!
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| view log Funky Monkey |
posted: 4/16/2008 at 11:41 AM |
| Click |
| It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys attack. |
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posted: 4/16/2008 at 12:18 PM |
| Quote from spaniel on 4/15/2008 at 6:41 PM:
If my wife and I hadn't been completely drunk when we met, we NEVER would have picked each other but we are perfect together as it turns out.
Now that has got to be a Hallmark card, right? Right?
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Jim Mcintire Half Marathon, May 17th, Fast Finish Progression <1:56
Grandma's Marathon, June 21st, <4:00:00
Two Town Ten Trillion Nanometer Race, July 4th |
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posted: 4/16/2008 at 2:54 PM |
Quote from Trent on 4/16/2008 at 11:41 AM:
Wow, this really hit home... |
- Anya
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dev_08 view log |
posted: 4/16/2008 at 3:12 PM |
| Anya, this is completely off topic but I'm fascinated by why you have a picture of Captain Pike as your avatar. Are you a fan of his? Blink once for yes and twice for no. (with apologies to non-Star Trek fans out there) |
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| view log Non ducor, duco. |
posted: 4/16/2008 at 3:32 PM
modified: 4/16/2008 at 4:01 PM |
| Quote from cagery on 4/15/2008 at 5:29 PM: I ain't judging nothing...just that in many readings on the subject ("The Five Love Languages" and "Love and Respect") kind of points to the same thing...maybe over-simplified here as there are many dynamics in all relationships.....
In the Love and Respect world, it would be easier for a man to be the runner than for a woman. If a man needs respect he gains that through racing, getting medals and all that. But if a woman needs love then the time spent training and away from her would seem like it would be a natural conflict.
So is it easier for a relationship if the dude is the one training? He gets the kudos...she can cheer-lead? 
I am now quitting my short-lived career as a mental health professional. |
I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Mae West |
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posted: 4/16/2008 at 4:27 PM
modified: 4/16/2008 at 4:27 PM |
In the Love and Respect world, it would be easier for a man to be the runner than for a woman. If a man needs respect he gains that through racing, getting medals and all that. But if a woman needs love then the time spent training and away from her would seem like it would be a natural conflict. So is it easier for a relationship if the dude is the one training? He gets the kudos...she can cheer-lead? quote> we may be reading a different book. The wife gives the husband respect by supporting the training and cheering him on (in your example). She could show respect by admiring his medals, etc. If the wife was training, the husband could show his love for her by also supporting the training, by carving out time for her to train, taking on some additional household chores so she would have the time to train, etc. The Love and Respect come from each other...not from outside places. |
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| view log Non ducor, duco. |
posted: 4/16/2008 at 4:48 PM |
I have read the book. I just dont buy the gender distinctions. I think plenty of women crave respect more than love. My guess is a lot of women runners are that way..just sayin'
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I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Mae West |
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posted: 4/17/2008 at 12:44 AM |
| Quote from andahuff on 4/16/2008 at 4:48 PM: I have read the book. I just dont buy the gender distinctions. I think plenty of women crave respect more than love. My guess is a lot of women runners are that way..just sayin'
agreed! |
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posted: 4/17/2008 at 12:47 AM |
Quote from biketm on 4/15/2008 at 12:06 PM:My wife (ex now) got me to take dance lessons....then she left me for the instructor ...true story.
Dude.
Dude. |
E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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| view log Eat, Play, Run |
posted: 4/17/2008 at 12:56 AM
modified: 4/19/2008 at 12:14 AM |
| Quote from andahuff on 4/16/2008 at 4:48 PM: I have read the book. I just dont buy the gender distinctions. I think plenty of women crave respect more than love. My guess is a lot of women runners are that way..just sayin'
I agree too! I've been married almost 10 years, and a runner for almost 2 of those. My dh has never been a runner and is not likely ever to start. But we share other interests and activities, so I doubt that alone would lead to the demise of our marriage.
My dh and I have somewhat reversed the traditional gender roles. He is a stay-at-home dad and I am the breadwinner. He cleans the house, does the laundry, and complains that I don't help enough. (I do take care of dinner and baths, though. And he still does the yard work). Anyway, I don't know if that pertains to any theory about it being easier if the man is the runner. I also think I crave respect and appreciation more than love. |
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posted: 4/19/2008 at 11:48 AM |
This is kind of fun - I've lost track of what the topic is!
My personal take - divorce is a growth experience... |
John
www.wickedrunningclub.com
I run to forget who the President was in 2008 and b/c I am happy with the President in 2009! |
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| view log Eat, Play, Run |
posted: 4/19/2008 at 4:56 PM |
| Quote from sluggo on 4/19/2008 at 11:48 AM: This is kind of fun - I've lost track of what the topic is!
Something to do with whether runners are more likely to stay married than non-runners or couples where only one partner is a runner. I missed the OP before it was edited, though.
Quote from sluggo on 4/19/2008 at 11:48 AM:My personal take - divorce is a growth experience...
For everyone involved...
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| view log Can't run? Go play. |
posted: 4/19/2008 at 5:39 PM
modified: 4/19/2008 at 5:40 PM |
| Quote from andahuff on 4/16/2008 at 4:48 PM: I have read the book. I just dont buy the gender distinctions. I think plenty of women crave respect more than love. My guess is a lot of women runners are that way..just sayin'
I think everyone seeks respect and affirmation, regardless of gender, age, status, race, or whatever. It's up to the people closest to us to provide it or it will be sought elsewhere. I try to build into my wife and daughters especially so they don't seek less favorable alternatives for their affirming. Along with their love, that is what I want the most from them. It's awesome to hear, "you're doing a good job honey/dad/son/whatever."
MTA: Marriage should be a growth experience as well... it's when it's not that trouble arises. |
Rick
"The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare." - Juma Ikangaa
"I wanna go fast." Ricky Bobby
runningforcassy.blogspot.com
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