I want to run with my wife!!! (modified subject) (Read 1332 times)

Hey gang... Having a conversation with my wife the other night over the phone (she's still not out here in AZ yet) and she gets so aggravated when I start gushing about my runs...She wants to lose weight (she says she does anyway) and I would love for her to get in shape...It would be awesome, in my opinion, to have her run with me...The best suggestion I made was the other day when I told her that when she gets out here if she wants to bike while I run, we can do that...I'd like to make it a "family thing"...We have a 3 year old and she's already starting him out with bad habits that I'd like to break when they get out here to AZ...Her and I both have a tendency to put on weight if we don't keep it in check (that's why I run) and I imagine that he'll have the same problem... Basically how do you deal with people that don't "get" running and even get downright angry when you tout the virtues of running? I've made a conscious effort to not point out that running would keep weight off, but the feeling I get from a good long run is incomparable to any other feeling and I'd like everyone to know how great it can feel, but my wife usually gives me a "STFU" about it... If I'm not getting a STFU from someone (it's really only my wife that says that), I usually get a glassy stare or a condescending "oh you silly running fool" from other folks... Anybody else here got issues with people not caring?

Here is an idea...buy her a super cute running outift! Clothes always work! DH and I have run together 3 times. We are different paces, we have babysitter issues which makes it hard to run together, but when we do, I have to admit, its great. But running is not for everyone. Has she ever run before? Does she have any interest in sports? Perhaps running is something you will have to do alone, but maybe tennis is something you can do together. I agree with runner92...cook for her. When I cook healthier, DH eats better too. When I don't snack in the evening, neither does DH. Be the best support you can for her. Any NEVER mention her weight! Just my women's perspective How about suggesting just a walk together as a family? Walking is movement too....

Thanks for the responses, even better that they are from ladies I don't make comments on my wife's weight, but I really DO wish she would get back in shape...She doesn't seem to understand (only those people reading these forums do) that running is my "drug" and seems to cure all the ills and stresses that affect me. If I'm in "a mood" or have something on my mind, a good long run makes it all go away. On top of THAT, it keeps me slender. She creates alot of her own stressors unnecessarily and I would LOVE to see her happy and stress-free. Running puts ME in that place and I'd like to see her get there.

Was she ever a runner?

Nope, not really...She claims it hurts her knees, but when I had a 5 mile race, she did the 1-mile "fun run" with my son and I....Then we did a 5K in Jan '07. We walked together and then ran the last mile or so, the last 1/4 mile I picked my son up out of the running stroller and carried him...My avatar pic is from that 5k, when we crossed the finish line together...

Hey! What are you trying to say?!?! haha

As soon as I put that reply up I thought "wait, I'm not sure if 'runner92' is a lady or not!"

IF you do manage to get her out of the house onto a pair of running shoes....don't EVER criticize her form. My wife and I went running right after we got married. Her form was atrocious, and having had some coaching experience and NO tact, I told her how she could improve. She has NEVER run with me again, or for that matter, ever run again....and that was almost 25 years ago.. (lest you think she is unreasonable, her back also prevents her from running...causes too much damage) She loved Curves, so that may be an option for you to suggest instead of running. It is a very supportive environment for women who want to lose weight and get back in shape... In a way, many runners are like ex-smokers. If it works a miracle for me, you're an idiot for not doing it too...so you really have to be careful about how you come accross in your conversations. Lots of "me" and "I" statements and rarely a "you" statement. If you are really set on having her run, encouragement, in the form of "I would really like your company" or "I think this would be some great family time" etc. would be the ONLY way to get her to run. Extolling the virtures of running won't cut it. It will come accross too wrong. (steps off soap box and kicks it aside)

I think I like the suggestion about getting your family out together for a walk the best. Maybe a brisk walk on a Saturday or Sunday morning as a warm up before your weekend runs? Who knows, maybe some day the joy you have in running will come across to your wife and she'll decide to join you for the run, too. Try to take your son with you whenever you can...a warm up jog through the neighborhood or keep putting him in the jogging stroller and taking him with. He'll be witnessing your good habits as well as the bad, at least! Think of this, too...maybe people (your wife included) hate hearing us gush about running because it triggers some guilt that they aren't working out (haha, b/c that's what non-runners thinkg running is, work).

I was exactly like your wife. I said I would NEVER run. When I was forced to run in school, I was seriously one of the worst runners you have ever seen. What finally did it for me was the fact that dieting (Weight Watchers) was NOT working by itself. Or I would lose the weight and gain it right back. My friend, a string bean in her late 40s, told me I should try running because you don't have to watch what you eat as much. The KEY ADVICE she gave me was that I didn't have to run the entire way!!! For some reason, that was a revelation to me. She said that ALL I had to do was run from one telephone pole to the next, and then walk to the following one. I knew I could do that! So that's how it all started for me. Another thing that really helped was getting running shoes right away. Not only did they feel better, but they were an investment that I didn't want to waste. And my knees DID hurt at first. I called the PT who had helped me with a knee injury, and he said just to back off a little. I followed his advice, and the pain was gone within a week or two. Cagery's advice NOT TO CRITICIZE her form is also crucial. I would add that criticizing her stamina would also be a serious mistake. A few years ago, I was so proud of myself for going on a hike up a big hill with my family and friends. Weeks later, DH commented on how hard it had been for me, showing how out of shape I was. At that point, I vowed never to hike with him again! And you know what, even though I'm running a lot, I probably won't hike with him again. Having said all that, it really does have to come from her. The snapping point for me was realizing I was starting to look matronly in my mid-40s!! Gag me. She will have to get to a similar place before being willing to take the RISK of running. It is a big risk! Good luck!!