Not Racing ... (Read 948 times)

It doesnt have to be one or the other either. It is possible to race occasionally, and still put your life first. But yes, there are people who run for fitness and dont get interested in racing. Many of us start racing as a way to keep it interesting because we really want to be couch potatoes. My untrained psychopop analysis is that if dad wanted to deal with the rest of his life he would regardless of running, and if he werent running he would be finding other ways to avoid dealing with what he needs to deal with. Running is just a convenient excuse.

It doesnt have to be one or the other either. It is possible to race occasionally, and still put your life first. But yes, there are people who run for fitness and dont get interested in racing. Many of us start racing as a way to keep it interesting because we really want to be couch potatoes. My untrained psychopop analysis is that if dad wanted to deal with the rest of his life he would regardless of running, and if he werent running he would be finding other ways to avoid dealing with what he needs to deal with. Running is just a convenient excuse.

I see what you're saying. I guess taking a step back, and really observing the situation from a distance, I can see what you mean. It is an excuse, that could easily be replaced by drinking, television or anything else. It's the person, not the activity and I shouldn't let that push me away from trying new things.

Interesting question. I know first hand about picking up exercise habits of your father. My dad worked out 7 days a week when I was growing up. He did a lot of weights mixed in with running and rowing. He always looked great. But I remember sometimes resenting the fact that he spent so much time working out when I wanted to throw a baseball around. I remember we always had to plan our days around my dad's workout schedule and as a kid, it did suck at times. As an adult with the same habits, however, I understand. In restrospect, I don't think my father's addiction to working out had a negative impact on our relationship. It was positive for me to see the dedication and healthy lifestyle, so I am today thankful he was that way for so long. I sort of stumbled into distance running when I was in the Army, which many years later lead to triathlon, etc. I finally started lifting in 2005. Like father like son. But my father has never entered a race. It was his dream that he would do a marathon with me but overtrained himself into injury. I can't tell anyone why I am racing again this year after taking almost 10 years off. I intially started racing because I worked at a running specialty store and we always timed the races. Therefore, I usually got to race for free. Then for some unknown reason I decided I want to do triathlons and so I did that. There is no way to know if you will feel the need to enter races or get more serious about running. Either way, you're still a runner. I know people that race just to be part of the running community where they live. There is a social aspect to it. Some people just have a very strong competitive side and need to race to scratch that itch. Perhaps some race to collect T-Shirts and hang out. Just from thinking and writing this post, I think I am racing again just to have events to gear my training towards. I am not as fast as I was in the past and probably won't be. I am no longer built like a typical distance runner since I took up lifting. For me, there is no social aspect to it because I am not friends with anyone in my area that runs or races. I don't have the need to hang out or collect T-shirts that I will never wear. So why do I bother? I like the excitement of waking up on race day and having 'that' feeling in the pit of my stomach. I like the buzz you feel around the starting line and I love the satisfaction of running through the finish line. I like listening to energetic music before the race to help psych me up. I even welcome the pain during the race because it makes me feel alive. But I could live without that as long as I could still run, and in my eyes I wouldn't be any less of a runner. I would just have a different purpose and there's nothing wrong with that.

Interesting question. I know first hand about picking up exercise habits of your father. My dad worked out 7 days a week when I was growing up. He did a lot of weights mixed in with running and rowing. He always looked great. But I remember sometimes resenting the fact that he spent so much time working out when I wanted to throw a baseball around. I remember we always had to plan our days around my dad's workout schedule and as a kid, it did suck at times. As an adult with the same habits, however, I understand. In restrospect, I don't think my father's addiction to working out had a negative impact on our relationship. It was positive for me to see the dedication and healthy lifestyle, so I am today thankful he was that way for so long. I sort of stumbled into distance running when I was in the Army, which many years later lead to triathlon, etc. I finally started lifting in 2005. Like father like son. But my father has never entered a race. It was his dream that he would do a marathon with me but overtrained himself into injury. I can't tell anyone why I am racing again this year after taking almost 10 years off. I intially started racing because I worked at a running specialty store and we always timed the races. Therefore, I usually got to race for free. Then for some unknown reason I decided I want to do triathlons and so I did that. There is no way to know if you will feel the need to enter races or get more serious about running. Either way, you're still a runner. I know people that race just to be part of the running community where they live. There is a social aspect to it. Some people just have a very strong competitive side and need to race to scratch that itch. Perhaps some race to collect T-Shirts and hang out. Just from thinking and writing this post, I think I am racing again just to have events to gear my training towards. I am not as fast as I was in the past and probably won't be. I am no longer built like a typical distance runner since I took up lifting. For me, there is no social aspect to it because I am not friends with anyone in my area that runs or races. I don't have the need to hang out or collect T-shirts that I will never wear. So why do I bother? I like the excitement of waking up on race day and having 'that' feeling in the pit of my stomach. I like the buzz you feel around the starting line and I love the satisfaction of running through the finish line. I like listening to energetic music before the race to help psych me up. I even welcome the pain during the race because it makes me feel alive. But I could live without that as long as I could still run, and in my eyes I wouldn't be any less of a runner. I would just have a different purpose and there's nothing wrong with that.

Wow, thank you for taking the time to give me such a long, well thought out response. It's pretty cool to hear about your dad and you, and how you feel that it brought the two of you closer when you shared a common ground together. I can totally understand that, and I think that me running was my attempt to find that with him. Well, we found it, and running together does allow us to share a bit of time together, but beyond that, I can tell you there is really nothing. The effort that I put towards asking him how he placed in a race, or how his bad knee is feeling, or asking him running advice (even though it's a stupid question i already know the answer to, but just want to hear him be passionate about something in his life), but that effort is never returned and his interest in my activities is never there. I've tried countless times to involve him with things; showing him books i'm reading, actors I enjoy, etc. But it never goes beyond a "that's cool" or "oh". It kills me. What's even worse is that if he finds no interest in it, or goes against something he is into he will not only show no interest in it, but have to give his 2 cents about why he doesn't like it, or worse off, his being really cheap streak comes in and he begins to talk about how it costs too much or whatever (even when i've been finacially on my own for quite some time now). But it really does feel good to know that other people do know what I am talking about, or somewhere in the same ballpark. I shouldn't worry about what the future holds really, and just enjoy what it is I find enjoyable about running now. I should just do what I enjoy, but keep my eyes open for signs of falling into the same streak. thanks again.

I feel very sorry that you're trying to reach out to your father and are not getting the desired response. My grandfather was like that, but obsessive with golf. I would try to talk golf with him but the conversations never went very far, just like you described. You couldn't get close to him emotionally, that's just how he was. But last September as my father, uncle, and I were looking at him in his coffin, I don't think either of us felt he didn't love the members of his family. He was just the way he was...emotionally distant. You can either accept it or bang your head up against a well trying to get a different response. Either way, you found your way to running and deep down inside you should thank him for that.

You can either accept it or bang your head up against a well trying to get a different response.

Or, you could just sit him down and have a heart-to-heart. Or maybe just a more casual conversation. Or write him a letter. If you haven't already done so, perhaps letting him know how you're feeling will open his eyes. Spill your guts. Life is short.

Or, you could just sit him down and have a heart-to-heart. Or maybe just a more casual conversation. Or write him a letter. If you haven't already done so, perhaps letting him know how you're feeling will open his eyes. Spill your guts. Life is short.

Ah, Yes, I have tried this countless times. I've even done it during a run, because I know he'll be alert, but it is in one ear, and out the other as soon as he returns home to his wife, and step children. I appreciate this suggestion though, in any normal situation it would really help..