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Talking to a student about smoking... (Read 277 times)

mab411


Proboscis Colossus

    Just had the talk.  Went well, I think.

     

    He says he started at the beginning of the summer, when he was going through a lot of "bad family stuff," which I didn't press him about.  He has smokers in his family, and he tried it to see if it would help.  It did, but he of course wishes he hadn't tried it.

     

    He says he's been trying to...cut it down.  I of course noticed he didn't say "quit," and asked him why not.  Kind of a mumbling, uncertain answer which amounted to, "because it's hard."

     

    That's the point I talked a little about how cigarettes are specifically designed to be that way, and how much came out about that back when the tobacco companies were getting put over a barrel (I don't think he's old enough to remember all that), and that's why they have all the warning labels now.

     

    I said that it's not something I would necessarily kick him out of band or discipline him for, unless people started seeing him walking around town smoking (since it is illegal for him, and we generally don't have kids in band who are caught behaving as such), and especially if it happened on a band trip.  I was just saying something because, you know...I care about you, and stuff.

     

    Then I pulled out a carton of cigarettes and had him smoke them all right in front of me, in one sitting.

     

    Kidding about that last part.  So, about what I'd hoped for.  No blood oaths never to smoke again, no tears, but as others have pointed out, he knows I know, he knows I care, so it's hopefully another factor in an eventual decision to quit.

     

    I definitely took him by surprise, though!  Started off with a jocular comment about how characters in horror movies are constantly doing stupid stuff that gets them killed, even though in the world of the movie, there have to be horror movies that the characters have seen, with the same tropes that would warn them not to go down into the scary basement, read the ancient incantation, etc..  "They should know their actions will lead to their early death, so why do they continue doing them?  I always wish I could talk to those characters and point this out...and I think I've got a similar opportunity here..."

    "God guides us on our journey, but careful with those feet." - David Lee Roth, of all people

      Knowing how tough (and sometimes expensive) quitting can be, perhaps you could offer to be a resource if he wants one.

      No pressure, but if (when!) he decides to quit instead of cut down, you know it's something most people can't do alone.

      "I want you to pray as if everything depends on it, but I want you to prepare yourself as if everything depends on you."

      -- Dick LeBeau

      LedLincoln


      not bad for mile 25

        Did you compare him to the lady in the filmy nightgown who goes into the dark, dank cellar to see what the noise was?

         

        Seriously, good job.  You do make a difference.

        mab411


        Proboscis Colossus

          Knowing how tough (and sometimes expensive) quitting can be, perhaps you could offer to be a resource if he wants one.

          No pressure, but if (when!) he decides to quit instead of cut down, you know it's something most people can't do alone.

           

          I did, actually.  Forgot to include that part!

          "God guides us on our journey, but careful with those feet." - David Lee Roth, of all people

          zonykel


            I read that smoking causes cancer... So I stopped reading :-)

              i am one with an addictive personality(i think we all are in here) but i was once that "i'm invinceable" teen too. one name and one commercial did it for me. the name, terri linn hall. and here is one of her more recent commercials, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyVLKHEqTu0

              In order to see the truth, sometimes you have to loose an eye.

              http://www.runningahead.com/groups/Utri/

               

               

               

               

               

               

               

               

              TripleBock


                Smoking blows - I smoked from 18-30 ... From 19-30 I tried to quit.  There are still times I long for a drag today (44), my brain longs for the feeling of gratification I would get from satisfying my toxic chemical addiction.  It would be much easier if they were made from pure tabacco instead of being laced with so many addictive chemicals.  Sometimes I do enjoy a nice deep drag of 2nd hand smoke and for a brief moment I long for a 1st hand experience.

                 

                $70 a carton - Holy crap, I remember buying cartons for $14 ~ economically a 1 1/2 pack a day habbit ($6 a pack minimum) = $3,285

                 

                "Son - Spending $5,000 a year on smoking is stupid, just think how much beer that would buy you!"

                 

                Knowing how tough (and sometimes expensive) quitting can be, perhaps you could offer to be a resource if he wants one.

                No pressure, but if (when!) he decides to quit instead of cut down, you know it's something most people can't do alone.

                I am fuller bodied than Dopplebock

                TripleBock


                  I was thinking about the addictive additives in cigarettes this morning as I drank a diet coke on the way to work.   On a much less intense level, I was getting the same chemical satisfaction from the chemicals and caffeine in my diet soda.

                  I am fuller bodied than Dopplebock


                    "People don't break bad habits; they replace them with new ones." 

                    a quote from someone.

                    In order to see the truth, sometimes you have to loose an eye.

                    http://www.runningahead.com/groups/Utri/

                     

                     

                     

                     

                     

                     

                     

                     

                    TripleBock


                      Not sure about that - I seem to be acquiring new bad habbits without getting rid of any ... so my stable of bad habbits is growing.

                       

                       

                       


                      "People don't break bad habits; they replace them with new ones." 

                      a quote from someone.

                      I am fuller bodied than Dopplebock

                        Not sure about that - I seem to be acquiring new bad habbits without getting rid of any ... so my stable of bad habbits is growing.

                         

                         

                         

                        that is because you are getting bored with your old habits but are still not willing to rid of themin case they someday again produce dopamine. you are a what can be termed as a habit hoarder.

                        In order to see the truth, sometimes you have to loose an eye.

                        http://www.runningahead.com/groups/Utri/

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         

                        stadjak


                        Interval Junkie --Nobby

                          Pack a day smoker?

                           

                          $8/pack.

                           

                          Kid, for what you smoked in the last two months you could have bought a brand new PS4 instead.  Quit now and you could have one before the next term starts.

                           

                          Your choice.

                          2021 Goals: 50mpw 'cause there's nothing else to do


                          Am I doing this right?

                            mab,

                             

                            I think it's great how much you care about your students.   And I think you did a great thing, even if he doesn't listen.

                             

                            When I was young and dumb and smoking, my mom tried many times, many different ways to get me to stop.  It didn't work.  Other than her, and my wife, the only other adult that ever said anything to me about quitting was a college professor of mine.  He made a comment to me one time and it stuck.  I didn't quit immediately, but it definitely influenced my decision down the road.

                             

                            So, cudos to you for caring enough to say something.

                            No excuses....


                            sugnim

                              That's a really hard topic to get through to a kid on.  I don't know if this will work, and I don't even know if it is legal, but here is the best conversation with a kid about smoking that Iv'e ever seen:  When I worked for the prosecutor's office, we had an intern who was in his late 40s who went back to school to be an attorney.  He was assigned a cigarette ticket case that involved a teenage boy getting caught smoking.  He took the kid back to his desk and told him to sit down.  He then took off his dress shoe and his sock, rolled the sock up into a cylinder with the toe part near the top and instructed the kid to put the sock into his mouth.  The kid, sitting in a prosecutor's office in front of a man in a suit handing him a dirty sock looked dumbfounded, and he put the sock into his mouth.  With the sock in the kid's mouth, the intern gave a brilliant speech about how smoking makes as much sense as sticking a complete stranger's sweaty sock into your mouth because you are putting unknown, disgusting things into your body and you look stupid doing it.  His speech was much more effective than my paraphrasing, and he went into great detail about the harmful effects of cigarettes on the body.  The look on the kid's face was classic.  When he was done, the intern took his sock back and told the kid that if he ever found out about him smoking again the punishment would be far worse than the taste of the sock.  I don't know if it worked, but the kid looked convinced, and we did not hear from him again.  (His ticket was dismissed.)

                                omg. I just have to say that this story is amazing.

                                 

                                That's a really hard topic to get through to a kid on.  I don't know if this will work, and I don't even know if it is legal, but here is the best conversation with a kid about smoking that Iv'e ever seen:  When I worked for the prosecutor's office, we had an intern who was in his late 40s who went back to school to be an attorney.  He was assigned a cigarette ticket case that involved a teenage boy getting caught smoking.  He took the kid back to his desk and told him to sit down.  He then took off his dress shoe and his sock, rolled the sock up into a cylinder with the toe part near the top and instructed the kid to put the sock into his mouth.  The kid, sitting in a prosecutor's office in front of a man in a suit handing him a dirty sock looked dumbfounded, and he put the sock into his mouth.  With the sock in the kid's mouth, the intern gave a brilliant speech about how smoking makes as much sense as sticking a complete stranger's sweaty sock into your mouth because you are putting unknown, disgusting things into your body and you look stupid doing it.  His speech was much more effective than my paraphrasing, and he went into great detail about the harmful effects of cigarettes on the body.  The look on the kid's face was classic.  When he was done, the intern took his sock back and told the kid that if he ever found out about him smoking again the punishment would be far worse than the taste of the sock.  I don't know if it worked, but the kid looked convinced, and we did not hear from him again.  (His ticket was dismissed.)

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