I hate cyclists. With a passion. Not a small passion, either. My passionate hatred for chubby, rude, spandex-clad bikers rivals the white-hot burning flame of a thousand fiery suns.

Present company excluded, of course. You're all obviously lithe, friendly, and well-mannered. Even if you do still wear the silly suit.

But with that said, its damn nice to see a few bikers who recognize what a lot of their fellow bikers do wrong. So thank you.

Getting dissed by a cyclist is a badge of honor. I've twice almost come to blows with one of the !@#$Q's. If they swear at you, you're probably doing something right.

For all you bikers, here's a few friendly tips for you:

1) You're a vehicle. That's the law. Act like it. Use the road. Move with traffic. It ain't rocket science.

2) Runners are pedestrians. That's the law. You yield to them. (And they better be on the side of the road, and running against traffic).

3) Since you're a vehicle, that speed limit applies to you, too. If its posted 20 mph, you don't get to do 50 mph just cuz its a killer downhill and gravity really sucks your big butt downwards and all that high-speed spandex really cuts down on the friction. You get to go 20 mph, too.

4) If you ignore rule 3, and you're going way too fast ... at least consider slowing down around blind turns. Or if you can't manage that, at least get in the middle of the road where you belong. See rule # 1.

5) If you ignore rules 3 and 4, you're inevitably going to find somebody waiting around that blind curve at some point. I'm hoping its a large downed tree. That's what you deserve. Unfortunately, you'll almost certainly find a pet or a child. Especially if you're doing this in a public park, you spandex-clad freak. Or worst of all, you might find a runner coming the other direction. If its me, say your prayers.

Bonus tip: you don't really *have* to scream at the top of your lungs to talk to the guy on the bike next to you. You really don't. I swear. While I appreciate hearing your conversation about your anal warts from 3 miles away, I swear if you talk like a normal human being, you'll hear each other. Really. Give it a try.

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Sorry. Bikers. I find them irksome. Present company excluded. Hey, at least I stopped at rule 5. I could have gone on.

I think he was referring to the bike, not the cyclist.

Just out of curiousity, are you sure she didn't mutter a "thank you" and it just sounded like eff you?

I'm not sure if I agree with this. It's kind of like saying that without NASCAR, there would be no rednecks.

They are equally evil.

But without the bike, the cyclist cannot be.

Thus, it is wholly appropriate to label the bike as the First of the Great Evils.