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diet and running ruining my life!! (Read 1030 times)


Slow-smooth-fast

    I just thought I would share this with you guys. I initially started running to lose weight and get fit, and indeed I am seeing the results, I am currently 4.5 st lighter, and quite fit and healthy. BUT, and this is a big BUT, I think that there is a consequence. Do any of you find that a strict exercise regime and diet alongside, lead to problems at home? I know this is a personal issue, but seriously, I have become quite obsessed with exercise and will go to any length to avoid social events, for fear of slipping ‘back to my old ways’, when really I would much rather be out in the hills running. Its also got to the stage where my diet plan – weight watchers – is also ruling my life. I believe I may have become over obsessed to the extent that it is causing arguments with my partner. I find that I get moody or grumpy if I cant run, or due to hunger which I fear to relieve. Does anyone elase share this sort of feeling, is it common? Anyone know of anyway to get away from exercise and dieting ‘running’ my life, or any supplements I can take to make me feel happier and less anxious about missing runs. This is impacting on my homelife and it needs to be controlled. Many thanks.

    "I've been following Eddy's improvement over the last two years on this site, and it's been pretty dang solid. Sure the weekly mileage has been up and down, but over the long haul he's getting out the door and has turned himself into quite a runner. He's only now just figuring out his potential. Consistency in running is measured in years, not weeks. And over the last couple of years, Eddy's made great strides" Jeff 14 Jan 2009

    Scout7


    CPT Curmudgeon

      Well, I do know that when I'm not running, I'm a pain to deal with. That's one primary reason my wife doesn't seem to mind me running so much. I'm much more pleasant that way. I don't generally avoid social situations, though. That's just me, though. I'd say that you have some level of addiction, and if it's to the point where you're having relationship issues, you might want to reevaluate your plan. I'm usually pretty careful to plan my running around my spouse. I'll run in the mornings, or at lunch during the week, and do long runs on either Saturday morning or Sunday evening when we're not doing anything anyway. So far, no real complaints. The other thing is communication. I'd talk to your partner about what's going on, your goals, their feelings, etc.
        This is a tough issue, Eddy. I think this is something that many of us have some experience with. It's always important to remember that running takes place against the background of our larger lives. Because this is the case, changes in running and diet will have effects on those other areas, including the relationships we have with others. Change is always hard to deal with, but the only tool we have for dealing with it is communication and compromise. If you can mark out some time and space to have a sane conversation with the relevant parties about what your fitness goals are and how those goals will be integrated into the rest of your life, this might help. You might also have this conversation with yourself, in writing. Ask yourself as objectively as possible what your life priorities are and write them down in order. Don't think in terms of sacrifice--the idea is not that your goals in one area have to be sacrificed to achieve goals in another area, but rather devising a strategy that makes all of those goals possible. In the long term, your physical health and emotional health are related, and real progress towards life-long healthiness may mean cutting back on the obsessiveness about fitness in the short term. Remember that it's not selfish to pursue physical health, as our physical health helps us accomplish things for the people we care about.


        Needs more cowbell!

          In the long term, your physical health and emotional health are related, and real progress towards life-long healthiness may mean cutting back on the obsessiveness about fitness in the short term. Remember that it's not selfish to pursue physical health, as our physical health helps us accomplish things for the people we care about.
          Jeff is a smart guy and I think he hit it squarely on the head. "Everything in moderation" might be something to keep firmly in mind, too. If your dieting or exercise ever falls beyond the realm of what would be moderate, then it's probably time to scale back a bit. Something that might help is to make a plan for your running and eating--but also make an effort to keep flexible. I plan my runs around my son's school schedule and my hubby's biking. This works well as it helps me to make sure that I get my runs in while also allowing for my hubby's workouts and family time. As far as your diet goes, I understand how easy it can be to obsess over food--especially when you've had weight struggles. I've completely BTDT. I will say that running has REALLY allowed me to not stress so much over what I eat. I also am able to eat to fuel my runs and train for races...eating to run, not running to eat, for the most part. Is Weight Watchers allowing you to eat properly for your running workouts? If WW isn't working, then maybe eating a balanced diet and eating appropriate calories would work better. I find that recording my foods in fitday.com really helps me to stay on track, both in terms of calories and nutritients. I know there is a thread in Jiggly Joggers with links to sites that can help you determine what your actual calorie needs are. Smile k

          I shoot pretty things! ~

          '14 Goals:

          • 6 duathlons (1 Olympic distance)

          • 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)


          Burninated Peasant

            Wow, I can't imagine trying to restrict myself to a diet like weight watchers while running. I try to eat something as soon as I feel hungry, pretty much all day long. It doesn't have to be a lot - a few crackers, an apple, or a granola bar - but it needs to be enough so that I'm not focused on the hunger anymore. It makes me much easier to deal with. As far as the running goes, I typically return from my run every morning before my wife wakes up. I do have to make sure I go to bed at a reasonable hour, and she'll typically stay up later than me, but I've been running for long enough now that she's used to my schedule.
              I can relate to your obsession, and for what it's worth, I think it can get unhealthy. If you are truly avoiding social situations, not eating due to fear of gaining weight, and obsessing daily over exercise & food, that's not good. It's great to enjoy a sport, exercise, etc and to watch your diet. But the key is overall health, and if you're depressed and anxious, that's NOT healthy. Life is to be enjoyed. Sure, I love running and I love a giant salad sometimes. But at the same time, I adore sleeping in on weekends with my boyfriend and I really love ice cream. The hardest thing to realize when you lose weight is that you are NOT going to undo all the hard work if you relax a little and take a day off, eat some french fries, and watch a movie. But you might find that you are a lot happier.


              I've got a fever...

                Paul, First off, congrats on the amazing progress you've made so far. You've dropped 47 lbs. since last August. That's amwesome! Big grin I don't want to re-iterate too much of what's already been said, but I'll give you my own insights as someone who tends to get a little obsessive about my passions: 1. Schedule your exercise in a way that it has the least possible impact on your s.o. / family. For most people, this is early morning. But remember that family comes first -- you don't want to be super-healthy and not have people to share it with. 2. Rather than avoid social events, relish them if you can. If you're like me, you may feel a bit more confident having lost so much weight. Use that well-earned confidence and project it. If you can project confidence when applying moderation in these situations, you won't feel pressured to "slip back to your old ways." 3. I don't know a lot about Weight Watchers. I know it's great for some people, but it seems very regimented and stifling to me. I've lost 23 lb. since January doing what I call a 2/3 diet. Maybe this will work for you. By 2/3, I mean that 2 out of 3 main meals a day are diet meals (breakfast and lunch), and the 3rd one is not. For breakfast and lunch, it's turkey bacon, cottage cheese, high-protein low-carb energy bars, smoked salmon, fruit, egg whites, etc. (basically, avoid sugar and junk carbs). Peanuts and cheese sticks for snacks. For dinner, it's whatever we're having that night. Just enjoy it, have a glass or two of wine, and pass on the second helpings. You won't feel like you're cheating yourself, and you won't be obsessing over calories. Good luck! Jeff

                On your deathbed, you won't wish that you'd spent more time at the office.  But you will wish that you'd spent more time running.  Because if you had, you wouldn't be on your deathbed.

                  I don't know a lot about Weight Watchers. I know it's great for some people, but it seems very regimented and stifling to me.
                  Weight Watchers - when done right - is as non-regimented as it gets. Eat any damn think you like ... but you'll get to eat more if you eat healthy and right, a lot less if you don't. If you exercise, you get to eat more. That's all there is to Weight Watchers. If I sound like a booster - I am. My favorite roommate has now dropped almost 50 pounds, prances around in her size 2 (and even size 0) high school outfits, and the company is even trying to get her to work for them. All she did was eat healthy, eat less, and move more. (And at this point she could out run a bunch of people around here ....) Which is frankly why I'm baffled by Eddy's post - no offense, Eddy. That diet is intentionally structured to be flexible. I know some people (that same favorite roommate is a good example) can be way too picky about it: she would refuse to go one point over the limit ... and she also never counted those "exercise points." Stupid. If you keep running, and you've already lost 4.5 stone (which is some amount I don't know - but I think its a bunch) ... then just relax a bit. Make sure you count those exercise points. And have a beer. Really. Have a couple extra bites now and then ... Run a couple extra steps. I know what your partner is going through if you're being super picky about it. It can be .... well, annoying. Don't be a slave to those points you're counting. If you're losing, its working. If you gain a pound next week, so what? Slow and steady and patient wins the race. It's a marathon not a sprint. And now I'm fresh out of running cliches. One thing that really worked for us (and I say "us" because it sure starts to feel like a group effort!) was to skip that "flex points" stuff and just completely go off the diet one day a week. Every Saturday, the girl eats like a pig. (It's pretty sexy, too, but I digress ...). I think that safety valve helps keep it from taking over your life. Like taking a day off of running now and then. Gotta get away from it once in a while. In short: relax. I know, easy to say. ------------------- And as for the running ... it's supposed to be a joy. My suggestion to you would be .... run more often, but with less of a concrete plan. First, since you *should* be counting those exercise points, the diet becomes a whole lot easier if you run every day. Amazing how much you can eat if you go run 10 miles. Smile But more to the point, if you just go run every day, run for the love of it, not because it'll burn 347 calories and you'll lose .04 pounds per hour or something ... it'll slowly become a (hopefully non-obsessive) habit. It should just become part of your daily routine (which is why I gave up on days off ...). If you plan to run most days or every day ... when something happens that makes you miss a run, that's okay. You'll run tomorrow. That's part of the problem with all those Higdon/Galloway/Daniels/Pfitz plans ... people start doing them and then obsess because they missed long run Sunday or tempo Thursday. Bah. I think that misses the forest for the trees. Or is it the other way around? Just run for a while. Every day (or so). Nice and easy. A few miles. For fun. It'll change your whole attitude on the thing. You can obsess later when you're trying to qualify for Boston or something. For now, just run more. My answer for everything: run more. And have a beer. My 2 cents. Hope it didn't sound harsh - it wasn't to be. Good luck. And now I get to go run. Thank God.
                  E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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                    Wait ... Eddy, are you really a magician??? (I just checked your log and noticed that ... also noticed you've lost 40 something pounds ... well done!) Dude. A magician. How cool. If that's for real, I want stories. Can you saw a girl in half? Make Trent disappear?
                    E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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                      By 2/3, I mean that 2 out of 3 main meals a day are diet meals (breakfast and lunch), and the 3rd one is not. For breakfast and lunch, it's turkey bacon, cottage cheese, high-protein low-carb energy bars, smoked salmon, fruit, egg whites, etc. (basically, avoid sugar and junk carbs). Peanuts and cheese sticks for snacks. For dinner, it's whatever we're having that night. Just enjoy it, have a glass or two of wine, and pass on the second helpings. You won't feel like you're cheating yourself, and you won't be obsessing over calories. Good luck! Jeff
                      By the way - that's some great advice. If you get sick of formal diets, Jeff's 2/3 plan sounds easy and smart. Now where are my shoes? And why haven't you made Trent disappear yet?
                      E-mail: JakeKnight2002@aol.com
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                        Eddy, I c ertainly understand how you feel. I was the same way until a month or so ago. I am still pretty much like you but something just gave in a month or so ago and I started loosening up. I am still extremely militant about my diet as it is the number one prioroty in my life. I actually lost my job because of it in a way. At least I let the job go away so I could focus on my working out and dieting. What snapped me out of it was that I got insulted on another message board and stopped going to it for a few days. That really gave me a chance to break the thought cycle and start enjoying myself. Don't get me wrong, I still eat the same stuff and work out everyday so nothing changed there, I just took a look at myself without the aid of my online crutch and I felt more normal after that. A lot of people suffer from the same thing but alot of them also have no results to show for it and you do. Stick with what youre doing and you will be fine.


                        Slow-smooth-fast

                          Wait ... Eddy, are you really a magician??? (I just checked your log and noticed that ... also noticed you've lost 40 something pounds ... well done!) Dude. A magician. How cool. If that's for real, I want stories. Can you saw a girl in half? Make Trent disappear?
                          Yeah I am indeed a real professional magician, I do close-up magic in restaurants and at weddings, and corporate events. Love it! Many thanks for all your advice, I get weighed tonight. Think I may have a couple of beers after!!!What a rebel!

                          "I've been following Eddy's improvement over the last two years on this site, and it's been pretty dang solid. Sure the weekly mileage has been up and down, but over the long haul he's getting out the door and has turned himself into quite a runner. He's only now just figuring out his potential. Consistency in running is measured in years, not weeks. And over the last couple of years, Eddy's made great strides" Jeff 14 Jan 2009

                            Great work. Eddy! So much to celebrate. Astounding weight loss, great running fitness. Now, apply that same determination to your personal and social life. I agree with much of what has been said in the other posts, so won't repeat other than to say balance is the key. For me, it's a pepperoni pizza, 1-2 Heineken and a rental movie with the missus the night before my Sat long run. Is it the best thing I could eat? Probably not, but it has become a ritual my wife and I look forward to every week. It's our 'date night' (understand we have a 3 month old baby at home). The more you demonstrate to your partner you are willing to work your running in around other obligations the more likely they will be to support your efforts. Quid pro quo.
                              I just wanted to thank you for posting this. I feel the same exact way and have been living my life for 12 years like this. (I'm 26 now) In fact running for me started as a means to eat more. Exercise bulemia really. It has taken a broken foot to slow me down. I hope I can learn from this break. I hope you can balance it out before it takes over. I also welcome everyone's advice!! Smile
                              Goals: Maintain 120 beat 5k time: 25:52 beat 10k time: 55:48 Complete one half-marathon-Jan. 10th