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That time of the month, ladies? (Read 1386 times)

    damn.  now THAT is funny. 

     

    I guess i should have clicked the original post. 

     

    where's the dunce hat smiley? 

    In an infinite universe, the one thing sentient life cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion

    http://htwins.net/scale2/scale2.swf?bordercolor=white&fb_source=message

     

     

     

    flovesparko


       So what age does this happen for women?  I just need to know so I can get rid of my wife before it happens.   

       

      Be careful what you wish for: 

       

      1.  Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling

      2.  Bouts of rapid heart beat

      3.   IrritabilityMood swings

      4.   Sudden tears

      5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats) 

      6.  Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles

      7.  Loss of libido

      8.  Dry vagina 

      9.  Crashing fatigue 

      10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease

      11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom

      12.Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion

      13. Disturbing memory lapses

      14.Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence

      15. Itchy, crawly skin

      16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons

      17. Increased tension in muscles

      18. Breast tenderness

      19. Headache change: increase or decrease 

      20. Gastrointestinal distress, belching, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea

      21. Sudden bouts of bloat

      22. Depression

      23. Exacerbation of existing conditions 

      24. Increase in allergies

      25. Weight gain

      26.Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair

      27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance

      28. Changes in body odor

      29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head

      30. Tingling in the extremities

      31. Gum problems, increased bleeding

      32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor

      33. Osteoporosis -- 

      34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier

      35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing' buzzing etc. 

      And.....

      • chin hairs
      • boob hairs
      • no sleep due to night sweats making you crabby all the time
      • wrinkles
      • $$$$s spent on anti-wrinkle creams
      • dry skin that flakes 12 months of the year
      • moles, skin tags, gross skin lesions growing in weird places
      • "urogenital aging" aka painful sex
      • visiting the bathroom every 1/2 hour
      • more hot flashes
      • brittle bones
      • heart disease
      • umpteen thousand medications taken daily to prevent diseases
      • flab, flab and more flab that sits around your middle and never goes away despite tons of dieting and exercising
      • a BMR of 500 calories a day
      • mammograms.....


       

       

         

        And now we've come full cycle.

         

         Dawg's got the right idea here. We just need to have a shoe that  detects the oncoming PMS and then

        automatically ejects us to some place far away, where it's safe.

         

         quitters never win

        RunsForCake


           

          Be careful what you wish for: 

           

          1.  Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling

          2.  Bouts of rapid heart beat

          3.   IrritabilityMood swings

          4.   Sudden tears

          5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats) 

          6.  Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles

          7.  Loss of libido

          8.  Dry vagina 

          9.  Crashing fatigue 

          10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease

          11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom

          12.Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion

          13. Disturbing memory lapses

          14.Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence

          15. Itchy, crawly skin

          16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons

          17. Increased tension in muscles

          18. Breast tenderness

          19. Headache change: increase or decrease 

          20. Gastrointestinal distress, belching, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea

          21. Sudden bouts of bloat

          22. Depression

          23. Exacerbation of existing conditions 

          24. Increase in allergies

          25. Weight gain

          26.Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair

          27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance

          28. Changes in body odor

          29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head

          30. Tingling in the extremities

          31. Gum problems, increased bleeding

          32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor

          33. Osteoporosis -- 

          34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier

          35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing' buzzing etc. 

          And.....

          • chin hairs
          • boob hairs
          • no sleep due to night sweats making you crabby all the time
          • wrinkles
          • $$$$s spent on anti-wrinkle creams
          • dry skin that flakes 12 months of the year
          • moles, skin tags, gross skin lesions growing in weird places
          • "urogenital aging" aka painful sex
          • visiting the bathroom every 1/2 hour
          • more hot flashes
          • brittle bones
          • heart disease
          • umpteen thousand medications taken daily to prevent diseases
          • flab, flab and more flab that sits around your middle and never goes away despite tons of dieting and exercising
          • a BMR of 500 calories a day
          • mammograms.....


           

           

           

          And people wonder why women get bitchy! 

            Yes, and you get to be a dotty old woman, with nothing to prove except to yourself.  And that's ALL that counts! 

             

            That's more than men can say as the try to cut each others' throats beginning at age 50. 

            http://www.ellyfosterphotography.com/

              Yeah, but no more endometriosis, no more fibroids, no more cycles (and all of the garbage that comes with that), no more cramps, no more zits, no more spending $$ on "products."  Sounds good to me.

              http://www.ellyfosterphotography.com/

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