A different soft of running report. (Read 310 times)

Life. It’s busy. It’s messy. It’s demanding. The weather has been shit for days, weeks, months now. I haven’t seen the sun in years. Rain, only rain. Well, sometimes it turns to ice. Everything and everyone are overwhelming. I take 30 seconds to go to the bathroom and splash some water on my face. When I catch my reflection in the mirror I realize I look like a homeless drug addict. The bags under my eyes are a reminder that coffee is not a replacement for sleep. I am currently in a spiral of busyness that keeps moving faster and faster. I feel that at any moment I am either going to cuss an innocent bystander out or crawl to the corner and cry. Somehow I make it through the long, long day. I crawl into bed, say good night to my significant other and wonder if my watery eyes will over flow.

In the morning I wake up and see a small layer of snow. Bleak, grey skies, but no rain. Thank god. I hustle through my breakfast knowing I need to get outside. I pick dirty clothes off the floor and throw them on. Randomly, I wonder through the house gathering my things; a watch, RoadID, hair tie. Should I wear a sweatshirt? Where’s my bandanna  Is it time for bear spray yet? Check the weather, is it cold enough for gloves? It takes a lengthy fifteen minutes before I’m getting my shoes on. As I head to the door I think, “Why am I doing this?” Emotions are on the verge of falling out my eyes and down my cheeks. I get to the door and sigh. “What?” “It’s fucking raining,” I reply. Some force shoves me, or maybe pulls me out the door. Down the icy steps I head, over the rocky driveway and up on the road. I hit the start button on my watch and force myself to take those first running steps.

I make my way to the trail behind the neighborhood. Having no clue how long I’ll go, how fast I’ll move, I turn left at the trail and head up the hill. My hair is wet from the falling rain and my toes are cold from the snowy ground. Something keeps me going. In my head I am counting my steps just to keep going. Down the hill, cross the new bridge, stop and look over for jumpers (a terrible habit I formed when the bridge went in), thankful I don’t see anyone, keep running and up the next hill.

Coming to the end of the trail I decide to run the gravel road called “the Benchlands”. This area made for new houses and where no one has decided to call home. I take off up a side road that is new to me. It’s a slightly hilly road that curves off into the unknown. After the first curve I look and up and see the water tower up, way up. Up it is then. Breathing in through the mouth, one step, two step. Breathing forcefully out through the mouth, one step, two step. Up and up some more. Fight against the nagging need to walk. “You can do it, just do it, get it done, you can do it.” I lunge up the last few steps to grab the chain link fence and shake the lock. I turn around to see the hill I made it up and there I stand, not looking at the hill but the ocean and the volcano in the distance, and the incredible blue sky. This big yellow ball has made its appearance in the sky. Is the world ending? Who cares, the sun is out! I ball up my fist and give out a “Yes!” I do a full body shake and head down the hill.

Heading back on the trail I run facing the sun. I can feel it’s warmth on my face and hands. Sporadically the trees part ways and more sun is let through. How long can I stay out here, I wonder? My running has become natural. Breathing has slowed down and I have a nice subtle burn in my thighs. I move along the trail like I've been running it since I could stand on my own two feet.

Near the end of my run I come to a clearing and just stop dead in my tracks, hold out my arms, and stand soaking up the sun. I have a big grin on my face.

Hopping up the stairs and into the house I throw open the door and yell “The SUN is out!”

Life. It’s busy. It’s messy. It’s demanding. But the sun does come out.

Thanks for posting this.

Thanks - I needed that today!

VERY NICE ---- kind of how I felt today.........you captured the mixed emotions of the early morning runner...

i enjoyed it...

Thanks, really liked this and particularly needed to hear something like this today.

Bravo. Thanks for that.