I just don't feel healthy anymore (Read 1206 times)

Disclaimer: This is going to be more of a vent/rant I have a feeling, so keep that in mind, however, if anyone has any advice I'd be more than happy to hear it because the cause of venting is usually frustration, so if someone can shed some light on a way out of this, that would be amazing. Ahem. Anyway. I run (obviously). I'm still pretty new because I got a non-running-related injury after just a few months of running regularly which put me out for some time. Also, trying to balance school, kids, and a marriage doesn't always leave as much time for running as I'd like. However, I was pretty happy with my progress all those things factored in. However, it's WHY I run that's kind of got me down. Don't get me wrong, I love running and working out in general. But, I do it to manage a back problem. My best guess, and my doctor's, is that my sacroilliac joint slips and pulls everything else out of alignment when it does. What this left me with was a case of piriformis syndrome and something else in my lower back (no one knows what) that was untreated for too long and has left scarring in the muscles, so they will never function the way they should/used to again. The advice I got during the 2 years of my life this disability ate up was "rest" and the only treatment I got was a medically sanctioned Vicoden addiction. I learned to manage it with exercise. Excercise strengthens the supporting muscles so the slippage in the SI joint happens less frequently and less severely, and it also keeps the surrounding muscles loose. It doesn't have to be running that I do, but I do need to stay moving or else it flares up again. When I work out regularly I'm 80-90% symptom free. When I don't, I'm a 15 on the 1-10 pain scale again. I'm not trying to be a whiner, really, I'm not. I know people live with FAR worse problems, I've found a way to manage mine that is natural and pretty effective, and I should be exercising to stay healthy anyway. The problem is when I do take some time off for whatever reason. I am then very rapidly reminded that my body will never be whole, healthy, and functioning properly again. I'm young now (31 in July) but what about when I'm 40? 60? What if something happens that I cannot exercise anymore? What if exercise fails to manage it? I also feel, just...well...frail. I try to keep fit (like it or not), and eat right. My diet is 100 times improved from what it was. I still indulge once in a while, but overall, my meals are balanced and healthy, with a minimum of empty calories and processed foods. Some days are better than others, some weeks are better than others just like anyone, but I like to think that trying to stick to eating sensibly balances out over TIME, rather than freaking out about a stressful week where dinner came out of the micromave every night. Still, I'm plauged with a host of problems...IBS, ganglion cysts in my joints, back problems...dear god the BACK PROBLEMS!!! Not just the issue I mentioned above, but my middle back, my neck, constantly go out. I used to see a chiro and he helped a lot but he go too expensive, now I see a D.O which my insurance covers more of a portion of and who essentially does the same thing. I can go to bed one night, and wake up the next morning with my back so locked up I can't even wash my hair. What put me out of running for a month was 4 rib heads just mysteriously jumped out of place, leaving me in pain like I was having a heart attack and being stabbed in the solar plexus. I can think of no reason for any of this. I have been tested for connective tissue disorders, autoimmune disorders and NOTHING comes up abnormal EVER. I feel like I should be on Discovery Health's mystery diagnosis show. And no, I'm not a hypochondriac, doctors can see the problems, just nothing they tell me to do to prevent them helps and no treatments ever stick. I can do all the exercises in the world, change this, do this and don't do that and STILL my body just seems to want to self destruct and take me with it. I just can't ever seem to be HEALTHY. I know we all have problems from time to time, some major, but mine just accumulate. There are more problems, but I'd be writing a book and sounding like I was throwing a pity party if I wrote them down here. Just one for instance to give you an idea - when I was 19 my immune system decided to eat one of my teeth from the inside out just, you know, for fun. My dentist said he'd seen that before, but NEVER in someone under the age of 40. What does this have to do with running? I would have thought that a healthier, more fit lifestyle would help SOME of this, I just seem to be developing problems at an alarming rate and they can't be treated. I mean, not that I'm going to, but I might as well just go back to being sedentary, eating chips, and smoking a pack a day again. It's discouraging. I seriously am too young to be this old. I fear if this keeps up, I might be heading toward depression, and then god only knows what's going to happen to me once those kinds of problems start. (PS - I've tried antidepressants and they don't help, they also give me side effects no doctor has ever seen before. Example: Lexapro gave me tinnitis that took a week to go away. I couldn't even sleep the ringing was so loud). Have any other runners here ever dealt with this or anything similar and what was the outcome/what did you do?

I don't have anything to offer but support for the resident pinniped. Good luck Finney, we're all pulling for you!

Finney, Have you ever seen a manual physical therapist? Do a search in your area? Make calls. Their approach is a bit different than traditional PT. There is a miracle worker in my area that I have used for my SI joint issue (no longer) and have referred others to when I was in fitness industry.

Trying to stay healthy and balanced and deal with chronic problems especially back injuries and related effects by running seems less than optimal. It sounds to me like your goals would be better managed through daily yoga practice and low impact aerobics. Some running to supplement that regimen sure, but not as the sole therapy. My $.02

When I ran before, in my 30's, the furthest I could go was 3-3.5 miles. In the winter, I got bronchitis and colds all the time--I had to run with a mask and bundled up. In the summer, my knees sounded like a bag of ball-bearings, my hip joints felt "jammed", I got pinched nerves in my neck--I was a mess. I started running again a couple of years ago (now I'm 49) and I've only had one cold, no major illnesses and only niggling injuries. What changed? I don't know, maybe my attitude? Before, I ran, not as a way of life, but just to lose a few pounds. Now, I decided that I had to change the way I lived--I couldn't go on with my weight increasing and being less fit than a bean-bag chair. I know now that this is my life--running, exercising is how it has to be until they put me in the box. Maybe you view your running as a way to get back to the top of that plateau you were on rather than a path that has ups and downs but continues as far as the eye can see. Good luck, we're pulling for you! TC

I feel your pain Finney!! I was in a pretty bad skiing accident (kid snowboarding basically used my back to stop himself and didn't even bother letting me know he was going to crash into me) in 2001. In 2003 I wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than a milk jug still. I also have other medical issue's that have plagued me since I was a young adult. Despite all that here I am doing what I'm doing and will continue until I no longer can. I decided in 2004 that I was only as limited as I let myself be. I still have flares from my medical issue's but believe me they are SOOOOOOOOOO much better now then they were before running and working out. Just keep the faith hun!

I would go with few other commenter's and recommend yoga. I do not have any major problems with my body, but running do stiff you up. Yoga helped me to loose my leg, back and neck muscles. Also, it has strengthen my body up quite a bit. Especially lower back. Try yoga. I would recommend "light" yoga, no any power or intense heat stuff. Start with a good teacher who knows how to proceed with a person who might have some obstacles for normal yoga practice in the beginner stage. Take care!

Keep fighting Finney. The answer is out there if you keep trying and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. Lots of good support here and it looks like lots of great success stories which yours will be added in the real near future.