When I started running, I thought I was invincible.  I ran crazy miles.  I entered lots of races.  At one point, I was running PRs at nearly every race.  I was bringing home hardware in smaller races, running well in longer races and even managed to pull off a decent marathon on a whim.

And then I spent the majority of 2011 and 2012 battling constant injuries.  I was still running crazy miles.  I was still entering lots of races.  But my times were no longer impressive and I was in pain more frequently than I even admitted.  After pushing myself through a marathon in October 2012 despite knowing that my calf was damaged, I spent two months not being able to run at all.

During that time, I was able to finally correct the underlying issue that was causing my constant pain and injuries.  One would think I would take a more conservative approach once able to come back.  I’m not really known for that, though.  Instead, I launched into a manic and probably ill advised quest to return to Cleveland and finally beat the time I ran in the marathon I didn’t train for.  I got a coach and followed a plan and even did hard things like hill work and intervals and stuff.

To say things did not go my way would be an understatement.  I knew from the beginning that the weather was going to make a PR unlikely, but apparently I did not adjust sufficiently as I finished the race with heat exhaustion and a less than impressive result.

I returned home pretty heartbroken and depressed and really, really unsure where I was going to go next.  This was about the same time Christian started to come into his own as a runner.  I would watch him and I would think “There is a fire in him that is not in me.”  And I tried to accept that.  I think my head did.  I remember telling WCR shortly after Cleveland that I was officially done with PRs and that I was leaving them to Christian from now on.  He said something along the lines of PRs being for the young and that our boys would run the town one day.

Convincing my heart was harder.

I received a lot of encouragement to try again with the marathon but I simply could not bring myself to sign up for one.  I did not think I could handle failing again.  And I was pretty sure that whatever small successes I had once had were of the past.  I didn’t want to try again.  I stopped hanging out here.  I distanced myself from a lot of the runners on Facebook.  I didn’t feel I really belonged anymore.  I wanted to be happy for others but I was too busy being unhappy myself.

I decided that from that point on, I would only sign up for interesting races.  My main races would be the local half series that a friend race directs.  I know I’m not competitive in the half distance and my PR in that distance in even older than my marathon PR so I felt pretty confident that I could run these for fun without stressing about results.  Later on, a certain someone would encourage me to enter an indoor marathon and I decided what the heck?  Normal people don’t run indoor marathon.  And if they do, they certainly don’t run them for time.  No one would expect me to try a PR there.  And the air conditioning would prevent a repeat of my visit to the med tent at Cleveland.

So I ran.  A lot.  Without any real goal or plan outside of the fact that I would do this set of races for fun.

In the meantime, I was busy with Christian’s cross country season which was far more exciting than I could have ever expected.  My daughter started musical theatre.  In general, I was just busy.

I didn’t notice anything peculiar about my running until I had a beer week in the miles game.  I thought it was a mistake.  Surely, I didn’t run more mileage in a completely random week than I did peaking for my marathon?  So I took a better look at my log and realized I had been running much higher volume than I’d realized.  Because I hadn’t really raced since before the marathon, once I could find a race that didn’t interfere with cross country, I entered a 15k.  It wasn’t even a race I like.  But I ran it better than I’d expected.  Had the course not been substantially long, I would have run a PR.  On my least favorite course?  In my least favorite distance?  How very odd.  I figured this was a good sign but then again, we’d had lovely weather and it could very well have been a fluke.

Last week was slightly chaotic to say the least so I wasn’t severely focused on my half.  Christian had a district cross country race where he ran a stunning PR of 16:54 to qualify as an individual for regionals.  I also became aware of problems at my daughters school and spent much of the week focused on finding a better environment for her.  I knew I had a race and that we would have good weather and that it might even not suck.  But it was hardly the most important thing on my mind.

So what happened at the race is something I still am having trouble processing.

Miles 1-4

8:08/8:12/8:17/8:29

I have a bad habit of starting too fast in this half because I have run the 5k which starts on the same loop.  It’s like my brain has a hard time remembering there are 10 more miles after that loop.  I tried to be conservative but its too dark to see my Garmin so I wasn’t too sure what I was running.  My training partner (who is faster than I) pulled up alongside me at 2.5 and asked if we were trying for the same pace as the 15k and I said, um maybe?  We might be going too fast, then, she pointed out.  So I tried to do that awkward thing where you slow down without slowing down too much.

Miles 5-8

8:27/8:45/8:26/8:39

I settled into a nice groove behind a local runner who is consistently  bit faster than me and decided to draft off her as long as I could.  We talked for a bit.  She liked my ink n burn.  And then she kind of moved over to let me pass her.  I didn’t really like that idea at all, but I went with it.  She did pass me back briefly at a water stop at little while later but then I did not see her again until the end.

Miles 9-12

8:19/8:35/8:17/8:37

At mile 9, I realized that unless I really messed something up, I was actually going to PR and started to settle into a cruise mode.  That lasted about a minute before Christian appeared out of nowhere giving me commands.  I told him I was running just fine and to not push.  He said he wouldn’t but he did which caused me to start singing Miley Cyrus in mile 10 until he shut up, but not without pointing out that if I could sing, I could run faster.  He left in mile 12 and told me I better kick the last mile.

Mile 13

8:18/2:01 (.19)

I was tired.  I knew I had the PR.  I was by myself.  And then a great song came on my ipod right at 12.7 and I thought, I can kick through this song.  I came around the corner and Christian was screaming.  WCR was screaming.  I crossed the line and then simply stopped in shock.  I truly could not believe I had just run the time I had.

ETA:  Pft.  I guess my pic didn't work.  The finish time was 1:50:56.  Almost a three minute PR.

So I guess it’s time to take my head out of the sand and admit I am still a runner after all.

(oh and remember how WCR said PRs are for the young?  He totally PRed too.)

Good stuff.  Those unexpected PR's are sweet.

Oh and I forgot... Congratulations to WCR! Is he still God in his head?  In that case, of course he can still PR! He probably does not remember me, but next time you see him, tell him I said hi. 

That is awesome!  It's got to feel great to get the mojo back in one big swoop like that!    I do think it's funny that Christian is now the one barking orders at you during a race.  

CRL - I really enjoyed reading your RR. I think people definitely have ups and downs, and you really outlined that. It sounds like you've came out of a down time. I hope you keep on enjoying running!

Sounds like you have had a pretty awesome come back and WOW your son is fast, that's a really fast XC time!

Oh wow! My cousin runs XC but he waited until his senior year to start running, his fastest is something like 20:13. By the time your son is a senior he should be running close to if not sub 15s.

 

Especially for a Freshmen 

About that FE, if I cancel, it is not my fault.  When I registered, I did not think there was any chance Christian would qualify for states.  Because he would have to finish top 15 at regionals to qualify as his team did not advance, he'd have to have a very good race.  And he ran big PRs at both conference and district.  But if he does, states is the same day so I'll kinda be in Tallahassee.