Beginners and Beyond

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Your parents... (NRR) (Read 691 times)

scottydawg


Barking Mad To Run

    I was lucky, I grew up with great parents.  I think my Dad tried harder to be more family-oriented and bet there for us (me and my sister) a lot, because his dad was a carpenter during The Depression and could not get work and committed suicide when my Dad was only 12 years old.  My Dad was always there for me growing up, he is the one who taught me baseball and football, how to ride a bike, and so forth.  And while all this was going on, he also taught me, by example, to do the right thing, to be responsible, be there when needed, and to be true to your word because your word is your bond.  We started getting even closer after I joined the military, because he then started sharing his WWII and Korean War days 'war stories' with me, knowing I know could relate to them better.  I learned a lot about what my Dad was like before his fatherhood days - he did some pretty crazy and wild things, lol, I would have never thought that of him while I was growing up because he seemed so STABLE to me when I was a kid, he was just this mild, easy-going guy, lol; so you just never know, do you, what kind of secret history your parents' past may hold.  He died in 1994 unexpectedly and I still miss him, and I regret that I did not get to say goodbye to him.

     

    I was lucky with my Mom too.  She worked for the Washington Post as I grew up, so whenever I would visit her at her office, there was ALWAYS something going on, the DC area was always hopping when I was growing up, especially as I grew up in the era of Civil Rights, the Vietnam War, the Cold War,, there were always ongoing demonstrations, protests, conferences,  summit meetings, whatever; and the Washington Post, a very active and political paper, and a power in the town - at least back then - was always involved in just about everything.  When I would visit my mom at the Post, there were always  so-called 'famous' people, very recognizable, coming and going in and out of the building.  My Mom is the one who passed on to me my learning of civic service and community service, civil rights, treating everyone equally and fairly, standing up and being counted, and always try to do the right thing, even at those times when you may be afraid to do so.   She is the one who took me to experience in person President Kennedy's inauguration (I was 6), to see and hear Dr. Martin Luther King when he made his "I Have A Dream" speech (I was 9), and I even got to shake his hand because of some reporters she was friends with; and I got to meet various reporters too, including the Watergate guys, Woodward and Bernstein.  And I helped her when she did volunteer work for Civil Rights, such as stuffing envelopes, sending out mail, and so forth.  I was young, but she always told me "You may not understand everything now, all that is going on, but just watch everything and remember and keep remembering and learn from them and when you get older, you will appreciate the significance of these events and that you were here to experience some of them."   And was she ever right.  I think the civic and cultural things she exposed me to helped me in both school and in the military.  For example, in high school I dated a lovely young lady who just happened to be African-American. So what?  One of my so-called friends told me "I just don't see how you can date a black girl."  I was like, what?  Wow, you really find out who your TRUE friends are when you cross what some of them may think is 'a line.'    I actually felt sad for him.  I told him "I guess that's the difference between you and me.  You look at her and see a black girl.  I look at her and just see a girl.  Just think about how many great experiences you may miss, great people you may meet by thinking like that."    That was my mom's influence and teaching in me.    Thank goodness because I spent 16 of my 24 years in the Air Force in overseas locations.  I served in Asia, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, many countries of the world - and I think the upbringing my mom gave me helped me embrace wherever I was. I accepted people for who they were and I wanted to learn all about the cultures and the people in the countries where I lived.  I have made many life-long friends of people of all nationalities, races and religions, simply because my Mom had brought me up to look not at WHAT a person is, but WHO a person is,  that no matter where you go, people are basically the same, we all laugh, we all cry, we all have our own hopes and dreams, we all want our families to be safe and happy, we are all the SAME when it comes right down to it.   Yeah, of course we do have differences, but that's only a barrier if you allow it to be.  I think it would be a pretty darn dull world if we were all exactly alike.  That is my mom's influence.

     

    I was very lucky with both of my parents.

    "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt

    crazyrunninglady


    Warrior Princess

      I learned many things from my parent.  Just probably not the things they meant to teach.

      aponi


      never runs the tangents

        It's funny but I never really thought I was much like my parents but I clearly got my love of the outdoors from them. Some of my earliest memories were from hiking and camping as a little kid. My parents are musicians and I still play the piano just about every day. Other areas not so much but there clearly is some influence.

        when in doubt, run


        Muddling through

          So at least 2 men in this thread changed their mind about what they wrote. It's funny how men have a hard time opening up. Good at humorous sarcasm, but embarrased about possibly appearing fragile. Hey, guys, we like you one way or another. It's okay. Smile

           

          Make that 3. I wrote, rewrote, then deleted everything I'd written before finally posting a short, neutral comment. I can see some of my parents' traits, especially my father's, in me, but how much is hereditary and how much learnt (see, I used the alternate spelling for you) is debatable. My father could be a perfectionist. Precision and detail were required in his job. Sometimes I can be that way too, though sometimes that comes across at nitpicking. He was stubborn, too. Did I learn that or is it in my genes? Where did I get my talent for math? By the time I was in junior high, my father was asking me for help. I learned to get by without or save until I could afford something from my mother. Why did I learn that but some of my siblings didn't? I love to travel but where did I learn that? Except for a rare trip to visit relatives in state, we never went anywhere on vacation. Is that a gut level reaction in the opposite direction? I'm fairly certain you can also attribute (I was going to write blame) my sense of humor to my father's influence and his sense of humor.

          2014 Goals: Run first trail ultra, first 100K, and see what I can do in a 24-Hour race

          happylily


            Make that 3. I wrote, rewrote, then deleted everything I'd written before finally posting a short, neutral comment. I can see some of my parents' traits, especially my father's, in me, but how much is hereditary and how much learnt (see, I used the alternate spelling for you) is debatable. My father could be a perfectionist. Precision and detail were required in his job. Sometimes I can be that way too, though sometimes that comes across at nitpicking. He was stubborn, too. Did I learn that or is it in my genes? Where did I get my talent for math? By the time I was in junior high, my father was asking me for help. I learned to get by without or save until I could afford something from my mother. Why did I learn that but some of my siblings didn't? I love to travel but where did I learn that? Except for a rare trip to visit relatives in state, we never went anywhere on vacation. Is that a gut level reaction in the opposite direction? I'm fairly certain you can also attribute (I was going to write blame) my sense of humor to my father's influence and his sense of humor.

             

             

            I'd say that aptitudes, like your being good at math, are genetics (but some siblings could miss out on that genetic trait). Habits, like your being frugal and saving for things, are learned (spelled that way for you. :-)). Sometimes, as children, I think that we choose what we want to take from our parents. For example, I chose to like traveling, because I had happy times with my mother when I would travel with her as a child. My sister didn't take that love for travels. She took other happy things from our past. I also have a profound disdain for cars, because my dad was big into them.And my grand-mother used to write lists for everything. I do the same. I learned that from seeing her do it. It's not genetic. :-)

             

            You, stubborn? No!!!  (from one stubborn head to another Big grin)

            PRs: Boston Marathon, 3:27, April 15th 2013

                    Cornwall Half-Marathon, 1:35, April 27th 2013

            4 years racing, 14 marathons, 14 BQs     

            Vegan Ang


            Formerly sdnyc99

              My parents divorced when I was 7 and I lived with my mom the rest of my childhood - seeing my dad every other weekend.  From my mom I learned the value of education.  When they divorced, she had only a HS diploma and had never worked.  I witnessed her working 2-3 jobs while raising 3 kids and putting herself through college and grad school.  Because of how hard I saw her working, and the success I saw her achieve, I knew that college and grad school were an absolute must for me.  She also doesn't have a mean bone in her body and is genuinely nice to everyone - I hope I got a little bit of that from her.  

               

              I wasn't nearly as close to my dad and we actually have very little in common.  He seemed a little baffled by me as I grew up.  But I still have a lot of admiration for him.  He immigrated to the US when he was 12.  Learned English, graduated high school, and had a long and successful career with UPS for over 30 years, providing well for his family.  He was also a runner who ran a sub-3:00 marathon in his early thirties.  He was an awful husband to my mother, but he did love his kids and at the very least his example taught me the value of hard work and not making excuses.

              Angela 

               

               

               

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