beer and dating

Anya_

posted: 2/27/2009 at 12:14 PM

This is a scary thought I had earlier... I feel my best either when I'm running ( or finished running ) or when I'm enjoying a beer. How can you even explain something like that to someone? So, now that I'm doing the "on-line dating" thing, if someone says they don't drink, I'm leery. Not that I'm an alcoholic, but when I really think about it, the two things I mentioned are when I seem to relax the most. So, this one guy who is interested in me, on his profile, he listed "no" to drinking. Most people have "socially" as an answer. Everthing else on his profile seems good, but in light of that answer, I don't even know if I'm going to respond to him. That's sad, isn't it?

- Anya

zoom-zoom

Fanatic #3965

posted: 2/27/2009 at 2:26 PM

I would assume that someone who says no completely to drinking is either A. a recovering alcoholic or B. religious fundy. In either case I'm thinking I'd have a hard time being involved with that person. In case of A. I'd be afraid to enjoy a beer or glass of wine for risk of tempting them off the wagon and in case of B...well, I married a liberal atheist if that says anything about my taste in guys. Wink

Kirsten

'07: 1324.5 | '08: 1561 | '09: 1810.9 run ~ 208.7 bike | '10: 1,000.3 run ~ 3513.5 bike | '11: 710.3 run ~ 4157.9 bike '12: 659.9 run ~ 3365.6 bike (100% benched by ortho last 4.5 weeks while in long-arm cast)

'13 Goals:

• DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!!!

• get within 5#s of 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

• 1st olympic distance duathlon

• 1st Iceman Cometh mtn bike race

• Half Fanatic

• punch Type 1 in the junk

jEfFgObLuE

More Cowbell!

posted: 2/27/2009 at 3:06 PM
modified: 2/27/2009 at 3:07 PM

Quote from zoom-zoom on 2/27/2009 at 2:26 PM:

I would assume that someone who says no completely to drinking is either A. a recovering alcoholic or B. religious fundy. In either case I'm thinking I'd have a hard time being involved with that person.

I think this is spot-on. And I also don't think it's sad that you're considering not answering. I jokingly say that I don't trust people that don't drink or swear. The truth is, it's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I can't hang with them. Because I enjoy drinking and swearing so fucking much. If everything else matches really well, it might be worth checking out, or at least inquiring as to why the "no" answer. You never know, maybe he just doesn't care to drink much, or drinks rarely enough to call it a no. Though if I had to bet, I'd guess something along the lines of ZZ's A or B.

When you're on your deathbed, you won't be wishing that you'd spent more time at the office. But you will be wishing that you'd spent more time running. Because if you had, you wouldn't be on your deathbed.

Anya_

posted: 2/27/2009 at 3:13 PM

Quote from zoom-zoom on 2/27/2009 at 2:26 PM:

I would assume that someone who says no completely to drinking is either A. a recovering alcoholic or B. religious fundy. In either case I'm thinking I'd have a hard time being involved with that person. In case of A. I'd be afraid to enjoy a beer or glass of wine for risk of tempting them off the wagon and in case of B...well, I married a liberal atheist if that says anything about my taste in guys.

My thoughts exactly!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that. I mean, there has GOT to be a reason one does not drink, ya know?

- Anya

Anya_

posted: 2/27/2009 at 3:17 PM

Quote from jEfFgObLuE on 2/27/2009 at 3:06 PM:

I think this is spot-on. And I also don't think it's sad that you're considering not answering. I jokingly say that I don't trust people that don't drink or swear. The truth is, it's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I can't hang with them. Because I enjoy drinking and swearing so fucking much. If everything else matches really well, it might be worth checking out, or at least inquiring as to why the "no" answer. You never know, maybe he just doesn't care to drink much, or drinks rarely enough to call it a no. Though if I had to bet, I'd guess something along the lines of ZZ's A or B.

Here, here! A toast to the swearing drinkers!!!!

- Anya

zoom-zoom

Fanatic #3965

posted: 2/27/2009 at 4:31 PM

Quote from Anya_ on 2/27/2009 at 3:13 PM:

My thoughts exactly!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that. I mean, there has GOT to be a reason one does not drink, ya know?

The only C. I could see would be something like my friend Beth. Her step dad is a recovering alcoholic...Beth saw the bad that alcohol abuse can wreak. As a result she chooses not to drink (she's tried some frou-frou drinks and wine coolers, but doesn't really like the taste of alcohol), but is married to a guy who is a social drinker and she has no qualms about going out to a bar with friends--and it's nice to have a built-in DD (she also swears like a damned trucker). But I'm thinking she's probably the exception. All the other non-drinkers I've ever encountered are religious teetotalers who enjoy passing judgement on others (hubby's parents and aunt and uncle always had to hide all alcohol from them during visits to avoid lectures...the weird thing is they were otherwise pretty socially liberal) or recovering drinkers.

Kirsten

'07: 1324.5 | '08: 1561 | '09: 1810.9 run ~ 208.7 bike | '10: 1,000.3 run ~ 3513.5 bike | '11: 710.3 run ~ 4157.9 bike '12: 659.9 run ~ 3365.6 bike (100% benched by ortho last 4.5 weeks while in long-arm cast)

'13 Goals:

• DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!!!

• get within 5#s of 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

• 1st olympic distance duathlon

• 1st Iceman Cometh mtn bike race

• Half Fanatic

• punch Type 1 in the junk

zoom-zoom

Fanatic #3965

posted: 2/27/2009 at 4:31 PM

Quote from Anya_ on 2/27/2009 at 3:17 PM:

Here, here! A toast to the swearing drinkers!!!!

Fuck, yeah! Big grin

Kirsten

'07: 1324.5 | '08: 1561 | '09: 1810.9 run ~ 208.7 bike | '10: 1,000.3 run ~ 3513.5 bike | '11: 710.3 run ~ 4157.9 bike '12: 659.9 run ~ 3365.6 bike (100% benched by ortho last 4.5 weeks while in long-arm cast)

'13 Goals:

• DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!!!

• get within 5#s of 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

• 1st olympic distance duathlon

• 1st Iceman Cometh mtn bike race

• Half Fanatic

• punch Type 1 in the junk

Squeaky

Jazz hands!

posted: 2/27/2009 at 5:19 PM

I know a few people who don't really drink and they're fine; I think some people just don't like it. The thing is I think most of them would still put "social" because saying "I don't drink" is kind of a THING, you know? Most of the cool non-drinkers I know would rather, I think, put "social drinker" and then never (or hardly) drink.

run run run AHHHHHH run run run

Hasher Rick

On On

posted: 2/27/2009 at 5:22 PM

I agree with Squeaky, someone that puts NO to drinking knows the connotation they are implying. If someone was fine with you drinking (even if they didn't drink themselves) they would put social. I am basing this on nothing but my opinion.

NJ Trail Series
NJ Trail Series on Facebook

NY NJ Runners Group

zoom-zoom

Fanatic #3965

posted: 2/27/2009 at 5:27 PM

Quote from Hasher Rick on 2/27/2009 at 5:22 PM:

I agree with Squeaky, someone that puts NO to drinking knows the connotation they are implying. If someone was fine with you drinking (even if they didn't drink themselves) they would put social. I am basing this on nothing but my opinion.

No, I totally agree with you both. I think saying that one doesn't drink on a dating site sort of implies that they don't and they don't think a datee should, either. At least that's the connotation I see.

Kirsten

'07: 1324.5 | '08: 1561 | '09: 1810.9 run ~ 208.7 bike | '10: 1,000.3 run ~ 3513.5 bike | '11: 710.3 run ~ 4157.9 bike '12: 659.9 run ~ 3365.6 bike (100% benched by ortho last 4.5 weeks while in long-arm cast)

'13 Goals:

• DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!!!

• get within 5#s of 130#s (and stay there, gotdammit!)

• 1st olympic distance duathlon

• 1st Iceman Cometh mtn bike race

• Half Fanatic

• punch Type 1 in the junk

MilkTruck

posted: 2/28/2009 at 1:55 PM
modified: 2/28/2009 at 2:00 PM

For me, drinking is an activity, like running. I don't drink to get drunk, actually the opposite -- rather I enjoy finding new and interesting places to have a drink or new types of beers, new sights and sounds, exploring the differences in regions and people and stuff like that. Rather than seeking out the comfort of a predictable experience, I get different and unexpected. (For example, I was in a place last summer in an old mill town in MA having dinner & drinks before an outdoor concert. In came a wedding party and the bride goes behind the bar to pull a pint for the groom. Turns out they met in this place. Well, they turned the place into a rollicking party for all of us. We had blast dancing, toasting, chatting with them.) If someone listed "no" to drinking in their profile, even if they are tolerant of their partner / friends being social drinkers, then right away I know that we can't share that activity. It creates distance.

Did an angel whisper in your ear and hold you close and take away your fear...In those long last moments

AA717driver

posted: 2/28/2009 at 4:41 PM

I quit drinking because I thought it caused my heart to race. I felt like a leper... Got the heart thing straightened out and started having a few beers. Being 50 now, I can't go out and pound 'em down like I used to but, damn, it sucked not drinking. Big grin

Why the angst about skipping the non-drinkers? Sounds like a no-go anyway. TC

"I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead..." J. Buffett There are two rules in life: 1.) Don't sweat the small stuff 2.) It's ALL small stuff

DoppleBock

posted: 2/28/2009 at 9:08 PM

Quote from zoom-zoom on 2/27/2009 at 2:26 PM:

I would assume that someone who says no completely to drinking is either A. a recovering alcoholic or B. religious fundy. In either case I'm thinking I'd have a hard time being involved with that person. In case of A. I'd be afraid to enjoy a beer or glass of wine for risk of tempting them off the wagon and in case of B...well, I married a liberal atheist if that says anything about my taste in guys.

Or C - A great Designated Driver

http://a-big-horse.blogspot.com/

2013 Goals ~ Mar < 3:00, 5M < 29, 10k < 35

DoppleBock

posted: 2/28/2009 at 9:10 PM

I used to Shun non-drinkers until I realized "C" If their cool and don't mind putting up with me after a few beers - I like them very much thanks you!

http://a-big-horse.blogspot.com/

2013 Goals ~ Mar < 3:00, 5M < 29, 10k < 35

cameraready

Former runner

posted: 3/1/2009 at 12:02 AM

I guess it depends on how the question was worded. Was it that they don't drink or something along the lines of they refuse to date someone who drinks. If it were me I'd probably reply and ask to clarify the "no" before writing them off.

Ross

Drinkers with a Running Problem

beer and dating (Read 437 times)

'13 Goals:

'13 Goals:

'13 Goals:

'13 Goals: