My dear monkey, As I sit here this evening, I find that I am deeply shamed and quite embarrassed. I realize that my very trust in the foundations of humanity is wavering. There was a time when I was proud to think of myself as a runner, as one of a community of sensible folks. But you have taken that from me. You see, I could not imagine that there were actually people foolhardy enough to register for this idiotic Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon that we have planned for November. But there were. Two hundred of you. Fools. Two hundred of you filled registration in just a few short hours, and now my faith in people (in the community of runners!) has been shaken to the core. And the flying monkeys are angry. They are not pleased about this at all. You never want to see an angry monkey. It will possibly be the last thing you ever see. Well, anyhow, you asked for it. So please ready yourself. While you cannot actually train for this marathon, please do plan on joining us Sunday morning November 23, 2008 in time for an 8am start. Please arrive expecting to have an unfortunate experience, perhaps replete with suffering. Consider yourself warned: you may regret your decision to run this thing, but you may never forget what is to come. Over the coming weeks, I will send you bits of information to try and soften the blow. In the meantime, feel free to peruse our website, http://www.harpethhillsmarathon.com , for information about the marathon and lodging. If you have specific questions, also feel free to click on the "monkeychatter" button on the website and share them with the online community of like-minded monkey fools. You may also email me directly. Some details now - - While you will be lucky to get any fluid out on the course, but we are hoping to provide it to you about 18 times, and it should mostly consist of water and lemon / lime Gatorade. And energy gels too. Hopefully GU brand. - We currently plan to have packet pickup the day before the marathon at a location near the starting and finish line. I will send more details as I have them. We will probably also have packet pickup at the starting line on race morning. - No, I have no idea what the weather will be. There is a distinct possibility that we will have some. Who really knows, though. Especially here in August. - If you have nothing better to do with your time, you need to go out and run some more miles. But you can also swing on over to the ultrahip and supercool http://www.myspace.com/harpethhillsflyingmonkey and become a monkey friend. Or over to http://www.facebook.com/pages/Harpeth-Hills-Flying-Monkey/13945349627 . Well, except that since I have signed up, these sites probably are no longer really ultrahip or supercool. But you most likely have something better to do. - And this. As always, we are looking for volunteers on race morning. So if you know of anybody smart enough not to run who wants to come out and spend a sweltering or freezing morning in the park helping out, please let us know. Volunteers are awesome! Anyhow, go run some hills. And then run some more. Even though it won't help. Trent

I hear there are nice places to eat in Rivergate.

CHUCK E CHEESE!

He said replete.

I must be an idiot. I had to go look that up.

Abundantly supplied or provided with suffering. Filled by suffering. Stuffed or gorged with suffering. Complete with suffering.

4. A monkey with a filthy burlap bag in which runners and joggers are stored for the "use" of the colony.

nah I regularly do that. Thank you for saving me from having to this time.

Now I have to use that word in conversation and have people think that I'm educated.

He said replete.

They larn them highfalutin' words at Northwestern, after all it's the "Harvard of the Midwest". Say, how come it's called "Northwestern"? Chicago's not in the Northwest! I reckon geography ain't part of the curriculum.