This one isn't as good as some others I have done, but I thought you would find the topic of interest since we are all so familiar with it when we travel and try to find a place to run: Dear Spareribs: It’s commonly known that you are the most knowledgeable person on the planet when it comes to running, but since there are so many people who give running advice these days, who do you think is the LEAST knowledgeable? In other words, who should I NOT pay any attention to? Michelle in Frisco Dear Michelle: Easy one! That would be the concierge or other front desk personnel at whatever hotel you happen to stay at when you travel. It’s a little known fact that they have to sign a contract forbidding them to know anything about running, advising guests where to run or otherwise being in any way helpful to hotel guests who are runners. Based on my own hotel experiences from my frequent travel, I have these nitwits divided into groups, those with a running route and those without: In the first group you have the tourist hotels, such as Disney. How is it that the greatest entertainment company in the world can’t figure out how to give runners a decent path or trail to run on? You can just see them planning it with their architects. “Okay, let’s see. These joggers are going to want some place to run, so here’s what we’ll do. Let’s give them a ¾ mile jogging path made of cement, and for a bit of variety we’ll have it wind back and forth so that they can never run in a straight line.” Then you, the victim, go into the lobby and the bright-eyed clerk hands you the “Jogger’s Map” and proudly points out the path. “You just go out to the parking lot and follow the signs with the little jogger on them. The path goes around the parking lot and past two small ponds. Just follow the goose crap.” “Oh,” you say sadly. “How long is this path?” “It’s about half a mile but you can go around it as many times as you like,” she adds brightly. But the real diabolical people are in the second group. Anything is likely to happen to you when you ask, “Excuse me, where is a good place to run around here?” To this question the clerk will look at you as if you just asked him to recite Avogadro’s Number, and not wanting to look like he doesn’t know the answer, will offer up some instantly concocted running route that will either get you killed, arrested, or hit by a truck. “Just out of our parking lot, you take a right and you can run along a nice grass shoulder for miles and miles,” he will say. Then he goes back to work, satisfied that he’s been of great help, and not a bit concerned that he has sent you into the right lane of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. Or how about this one? You check into your room and see that the hotel abuts a huge forest or park, and you know it must have some beautiful trails to run on. You go down to the lobby in the morning and ask about the running routes and you get this response: “Running? Oh, you mean like jogging? Well, I don’t know. I’m really not from this area. I have no idea where you could go. Let me ask the manager….” So Michelle, the next time you’re planning a trip out of town and want to go running, ask me if I would like to go with you. We can share a room to save expenses and I’ll show you a great time. Hope that helps. Spareribs

Love the "Ask Spareribs" column! On a related note, I stayed at a hotel in Atlanta...Buckhead Marriot. In the foyer just as you enter the lobby, they have towels and iced down bottles of water with a sign that says, "Welcome back runners." This was during the week and no special running event was being held. Nice touch!

In 1998 I ran the Houston Marathon and the person at the hotel desk did not know, that a marathon was going on the next day. I thought she was kidding at first. TomD

Although I find Ribs post funny, I have to agree with Carolyn....how would a "non" running desk clerk know what a running route even means. I would just venture out and find my own route..it wouldn't be that hard in my opinion....kinda fun actually. Thanks Ribs....you are so funny and such a great guy! Carolyn...great news on your new job...too bad about gas prices though, huh? Working from home will help, when you get to that point. Tim

I've had good luck with the Embassy Suites on the East and West coasts. Seems they always have "jogging" routes that are at least 3 mi. I hope it's not that I've just been extremely lucky! Disney -- don't even get me started. Why hold endurance events every month if no one can train properly on the vast property!

Don't get me wrong, I loved Spareribs' column. My response was kind of tongue-in-cheek. But I also agree with Tall that the management could provide something for the clerks to hand out. Although the management is probably equally lacking in running savvy. Maybe we could start a service project - print up some good running route descriptions and drop them off at local hotels in our home towns. The out of town runners would thank us!