Masters Running

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Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student (Read 213 times)

evanflein


    I posted this on KR also. I'm really not in the mood to work today. I got this from a friend via e-mail, but I've seen it before so I'm sure some of you have also. I still think it's pretty funny. ************************ The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
      Awesome! Thanks for sharing...I'm sending it to all my friends! Fran
        Big grin
        Masters 2000 miles
        TammyinGP


          That's hilarious!

          Tammy

            I love it!

            Lou, (aka Mr. predawnrunner), MD, USA | Lou's Brews | lking@pobox.com

            wildchild


            Carolyn

              But if hell hasn't frozen over and still exists, then I imagine there's a section for runners that's full of helliptical machines and stationary bikes... and a section for non-runners full of dreadmills. Big grin

              I hammered down the trail, passing rocks and trees like they were standing still.


              Top 'O the World!

                always loved that one! Wink
                Remember that doing anything well is going to take longer than you think!! ~ Masters Group
                Tramps


                  I'm always curious where stories like this originated; often the truth is even more interesting than the fictiion. This is a variation on a real oldie but goodie. http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

                  Be safe. Be kind.

                  evanflein


                    Yes, I knew I'd seen it before but I didn't remember the part about finally getting the girl, so this is the newer rendition. Still, it's funny. I never really believed some kid sweating thru a university chemistry exam could come up with something like this on the fly... I know I couldn't!