MM#209 / JapanJoyful#803
I will now go back to minding my own business.
Huh? We’re supposed to mind our own business?.Maybe try to give her a hug anyway and tell her “you’re really something but I always love you.”
If she won’t let you do it now, tell her you have a hug ready when she’s ready, . . .
even though it might be a long time.,When DD was headed to state drill team championships in those days, a last minute trip of my own allowed a chance to arrange a joyous, surprise seating next to her. I’ll never forget her horrified, mortified look as she realized she’d be sitting with her dad instead of with all her drill team friends. I got the message right away though and slipped to the back of the plane where watching them having fun in anticipation of the competition was even more fun for me. Stupid dads. We still laugh about it.
"Enjoy yourself. Your younger days never come again." 100yo T. Igarashi to me in geta at top of Mt. Fuji (8/2/87)
Indeed it gets better. I like Tammy's post about being honest and telling him how it made her feel. Some kids really do respond to that. I always adored my mom, even as a teenager, but apparently I didn't always show it very well. I remember after some event that we were at that she didn't like how I was acting like a brat and if that was going to be my attitude I could stay home. I had to really think about that and the realization that she was right wasn't pleasant. I don't think we talked about it afterwards, but I did try to clean up my act (a bit).
I also agree you do so much for your kids to the point of self-sacrifice sometimes. Maybe don't be so available to help out sometimes. Always be aware of what's going on (where she's going, who she's with, etc), but just not always there for her. And like Ribs said, don't go to her games if she treats you like an outsider.
And I also agree that eventually, this will pass. She's a good kid and will be a good person. It might just take awhile for you to like her again (and it's ok to not like your kids sometimes, not the same as not loving them).
I’ll never forget her horrified, mortified look as she realized she’d be sitting with her dad instead of with all her drill team friends. I got the message right away though and slipped to the back of the plane where watching them having fun in anticipation of the competition was even more fun for me. Stupid dads. We still laugh about it.
And this is just awesome.... especially the last bit.
Carolyn
DD has always been a handful, but in recent months she just seems to be acting up more and more, sassy, eye-rolling, and just in general being an ungrateful brat. If she doesn't get her way she pushes and pushes and begs and begs and just won't take no for an answer until I am yelling at her. I hate being that mom. And it makes me angry that she won't listen at all until I become that. It's exhausting, and I feel like we are losing the closeness we once had. Yesterday I went to her softball game after work and she barely looked at me when I arrived, didn't speak to me until it was over. Today I am kind of depressed about the whole issue.
She's a spitfire, for sure. My suggestion is to tell her exactly what you told us. Hopefully she'll think about it and maybe, just maybe, see things from your point of view a little bit. Also, maybe try to catch her doing something right and comment on it, instead of always voicing negative things.
I never got along with my own mom when I was a teenager, and still don't today. She's overbearing and opinionated. It helps that she lives 2000 miles away, so when I do see her for short visits, we get along fine. I think I did much better with my daughter - we've always been close, and even when she was a teenager we got along great. This might have more to do with her being an awesome kid than my parenting skills, but whatever...
And +1 to what Tet said. If we can't run anymore, we can follow Tazzie's example, and enjoy walking and sniffing and rolling in the snow! And with that, I'm headed out to take the girls for a walk!
I hammered down the trail, passing rocks and trees like they were standing still.
ok, who's letting CR start the daily????.................this is Madness
Exactly my point.
Got a nice lunch run for my double and felt rejuvenated.
Holly - trust your heart on this one. Teens can be interesting. We have 3. Sometimes the boys drive me nuts and one of them grunts more than talks. But I keep engaging and every now and then we have a good conversation. Usually about something silly or funny and every once in a while about something with depth. My DD and DW have days. Oddly enough my DD likes it more when I'm in the car while she's learning to drive. She says DW is too bossy and makes her nervous. Frankly I consider myself a less patient person than DW but it seems to work. I know DW wants nothing to do with teaching the boys to drive and I fully understand that. So long winded post - there were some good ideas about sharing your point of view. Teen years are hard but I know my kids (even if they only say it once in a great while) like that we are engaged in what they do.
No don't get me started about people cleaning bathrooms and picking up clothes.
"He conquers who endures" - Persius "Every workout should have a purpose. Every purpose should link back to achieving a training objective." - Spaniel
http://ncstake.blogspot.com/
Holly S. I am kidless so I have no advice. But, I wish you all the best in working through your DD's teenage years. I have no idea how my parents survived mine.
I managed to get in 14 miles today. I had planned to run the Sunburst marathon on June 6. I guess I am still planning on it. But, after my HM on Sunday I am thinking it might pay to move my marathon date up a couple of weeks. The Vermont City marathon is on May 24. Decisions, decisions.
Free to a good home! I have two sets of RedFox Bluetooth headsets that I am happy to part with to anybody that is willing to just pay the packing and shipping costs. Both sets have busted microphones! You can hear just fine with them. They will work just fine for listening to music but are useless for making phone calls.
There is one little restriction for now on the free to a good home thing. Free to the good home of a member of the Rosie Ruiz Fan Club relay team! Yes, this is one little way I have to encourage sign ups and check mailings! First dibs go to anyone that has signed up and sent me a check for their registration fee. Second dibs to anyone that has signed up but not sent me their check yet (although I would appreciate a check as I had to pay for the whole team's registration fee already).
You can find out how I wound up with these headsets by going to the Reach the Beach Relay thread.
Live like you are dying not like you are afraid to die.
Drunken Irish Soda Bread and Irish Brown Bread this way --> http://allrecipes.com/cook/4379041/
MM #5615
Hello everybody!
I just realized that I only have 18 days 12 hours and 58 minutes until the Cellcom Green Bay Half Marathon...dang...how did that come up so quickly?
Well...I did it...I registered for the National Senior Games. I did the State Senior Games to qualify...I qualified...so, I'm doing it.
What else do I have to tell you? Oh...I popped another jelly bean in my mouth like it was candy. I don't know what has come over me.
Okay--that's it. Gotta go. See ya!
Holly - go with what feels right for you. I had some problems with both of my kids at various times and they're both good friends now - and good parents (altho I don't agree with them all the time)
Ran 4 this morning, then biked and picked up GD at school and she biked the 3+ miles from her house to ours. She's wanted to do it for a couple of years and was finally ready for it. Only 3 stops, one while biking up heartbreak hill. Later she wanted to bike to the supermarket for broccoli rather then walking (I didn't give the car option) marj
You are such an inspiration to us!!!!
Well, post Boston and Orchards in Bloom I am finally recovering slowly. I actually went running for 5 miles with the Easy Pacer tonight. Great weather, 80F at 6pm.
Wanna see how a slow poke at Boston gets all the media attention in a rural newspaper? Speedy Stacey and I were on the Sunday paper this past weekend.
"Champions are everywhere; all you need is to train them properly..." ~Arthur Lydiard
(((((Holly))))) I don't miss the teen years. I hope you and DD work through it soon. You will work through it. Though I'm not a bio parent, I suspect God made babies so cute is so we remember that when we want to choke teenagers. DW and I decided it was too late to put DS up for adoption when he was 15. has it been 10 years already? Wow.
Kids...Holly, I think any of us with kids know exactly where you are coming from. It get's better.
Kids...Holly, I think any of us with kids know exactly where you are coming from.
It get's better.
FL is safe not that Aamos is back. I didn't break it while I was there.
MikeE.careful with those jellybeans. it starts slow slowly. One here. One there. It's a cycle. Before you realize - they've gotten stale and rock hard. Next thing you know, you break a tooth. Do we need an intervention?
Love the picture Nancy
An old company called me again (after 7 1/2 years). Pitched sweet again. After work I went in and talked with the new Director of Operations. He's been looking for specific skills and asked other people in the industry and my name kept coming up. I apologised that he's heard my name repeatedly and could only imagine stories associated with that. "So you've heard I'm 1/2 nuts?". He named an individual who said I'm 100% completely nuts. So...this will be my last full week with my current company. I may have an office again. If so, I'll tone it down.
SteveP
tet, I relate to your ageing an running comments. I have a much better attitude now than when I started to slow significantly. As much as I get tempted to give it up, I hope I will keep doing what I can without beating myself up mentally and emotionally. mari, neat you made the local paper.
Holly, I don't want to let your concerns pass without commenting but I'm surely no expert on child rearing. As has been stated, every kid is different and every parent is different. I can't say we had real problems with our kids but there were years of little communication and obvious embarassment of us. We used to go to all their games but rarely spoke to them when we were there. Even though it was not acknowledged at the time, they have since indicated that they appreciated us being there and felt bad for the kids whose parents rarely, or never, showed up. When my daughter worked the early shift at a fast food restaurant, I would always get up and see her off. I would usually say good morning to her with no response and wish her a good day when she left, again with no response. She would now say how much she appreciated it. Hang in there, the payoff will come when they are adults and tell you how much of what you did is appreciated and they feel bad about some of the attituede and things they did. I feel your efforts to be a good parent are admirable and you will be glad you made them, assuming you live through the rough years .
As a teacher, I saw lots of kids and parents. They were all different but I always felt that it was important that kids knew their parents cared about them even though they wouldn't admit it at the time. One of my favorite stories is overhearing a couple of ninth grade girls complaining about some of the things their parents had done. I told them, "Just wait, when you are parents, you'll do the same thing." I expected strong denial but one sweet littl gal looked me in the eye and said, "I know it and I can hardly wait". One more comment and I'll butt out. Years ago, I read a book and in it, a woman was having difficulties with her 13 year old daughter. At parent teacher conferences, the mother unloaded on one of the junior high teachers. The teacher asked the question, "Do you know what's worse than a 13 year old girl?" The teacher then answered her own question by saying, "nothing".
This morning, it was in the high 30s and almost dead calm. I did 5 miles at a 10:45 pace.
A good day and good runs for all.
TomS