Le professeur de trail
With all the talk about road running days, maybe it would be fair to hear some interesting questions from a roadie to trail runners. All of this is strictly hypothetical of course and stereotypes are presumed.
Pre Race:
"What are you wearing around your ankles?"
"what is that thing on your back - doesn't it weigh you down?"
"You poop where?"
At the starting line leaned in to his trail running friend Bob says before his first trail race "Ya know, I think trail runners just run trail races cuz they sucked at road races....Bob? where you going?"
"Runners don't actually walk during this thing do they?"
"The description says 1200 foot gain in 1 mile....is that a hill or something?"
"They serve what at Aid Station 4? - no really, stop joking with me?"
"What do you do when you see a squirrel in the middle of the trail?"
"What?!? we might see bear?"
"You mean to tell me this is not a USATF certified course?"
Mid Race:
"Bob - why are you taking your time to throw the cups and gel packets in the trash?"
"Bob - why are you wasting time picking up trash along the side of the trail - that's the job of the aid station volunteers"
"I don't understand why runners are taking pictures during the race?"
Post Race:
"Wow that was a lot of fun. But why only 147 runners? I could easily get them a big name sponsor and get thousands of people who want to run this."
or "Wow that sucked. What was that?"
(do share...)
My favorite day of the week is RUNday
under a rock
I had a road runner acquaintance, a typical swag hoarding and numbers obsessed type, say to me once about trail running, " I don't understand what you like so much about trails? I mean, there's all that crap all over the ground that you've got to dodge."
I replied, "That crap is nature!" I'm sure I added some other things in there but I was floored at how rude he was about putting down the sport he knows I love so much. And he wonders why I don't join in the group runs with the local road running group.
My imagined conversation between a trail runner and road runner:
- You want to run a FatAss with me
- You calling me a FatAss
- No numb nuts it's an unsupported 50k
- Wait unsupported, do I at least get a T-shirt
- No, it's for fun and time to spend outside on the trails
- ummmmmm, nay I'll pass it's not on my Pfitz plan to run that long
I was trying to think of snarky comments I've actually heard from road runners, but funnily enough, most road runners I know are quite impressed by us trail runners, especially the distances some of us run. Maybe they are outliers. Also - as much as I am a trail runner at heart (and at races), the majority of my training is still done on pavement
But as long as these are purely stereotypical and hypothetical..........
"Why would you run a trail race? It's not like you're going to PR."
"No, I asked how many miles you're going to run today, not how many hours."
"HOW long did you spend at that aid station?""Wait, you actually talk during trail races?"
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NYCM: 11/4/2018
flashlight and sidewalk
-Hey man...you're pretty fast, you should run a marathon...qualify for Boston!
(After Ironmasters 50k)
P.S. I'm pretty sure I'm not BQ fast (although I never tried)
**Ask me about streaking**
"Wait, you actually talk during trail races?"
Ha! I actually tried to talk to someone in one of the last road races I did and got an icy response of silence.
Occasional Runner
That's always been my experience too.
KillJoyFuckStick
My comment to the race timer after my first 50K trail race, "This course seemed about a mile short according to my Garmin."
<---- Roadie douchetard
You people have issues
Some more imagined conversations:
...wait, you mean I am going to have to run through mud and cross a stream?
Why do you have a pair of shoes with screws in the bottom?
You mean to tell me that you ate a grilled cheese sandwich and drank a beer during the race?
Your grilled cheese about killed me on the 2nd loop of Free State
Some more imagined conversations: ...wait, you mean I am going to have to run through mud and cross a stream? Why do you have a pair of shoes with screws in the bottom? You mean to tell me that you ate a grilled cheese sandwich and drank a beer during the race?
All I have to do is average a 9 minute mile?...... and I could win!!!! or at least place. Are you serious?
Tim
Friend - "I saw your time from Pikes Peak, were you OK or did you have to walk a lot."
Me - "You know it runs up a mountain don't you?"
Friend - "Yea, but you're time was almost 3 hours slower than my marathon time"
Me - "Did you run that one at high altitude."
Friend - "No, but half of your race was downhill, so that should have helped."
Me - "You know you're an idiot."
(This was a real conversation.)
“Paralysis-to-50k” training plan is underway!
I didn't cook it.
Trail Monster
Hahaha! When trail runners run road races:
excerpt from my Shamrock Marathon RR:
"I was not having a good day so I didn't hesitate to grab a beer offered by a spectator at mile 14..."
roadie response:
"If I drank beer during a marathon I would puke or DIE..."
Frankly, I would fill a handheld with beer if I wasn't afraid of accidentally running off a cliff after a few top offs.
2013 races:
3/17 Shamrock Marathon
4/20 North Coast 24 Hour
7/27 Burning RIver 100M
8/24 Baker 50M
10/5 Oil Creek (distance to be determined)
My Blog
Brands I Heart:
FitFluential
INKnBURN
Altra Zero Drop
Sue
Trail runner: They recorded my time wrong so I should them my Garmin and they fixed it.
Roadie: Whhhaaattt?
Trailrunner: They gave me the second place medal and the girl I the yellow the third place medal.
Roadie: Wow you came in second place?
Trailrunner: No third, I was behind the girl in the yellow, we traded medals and let them know.
Roadie: Wahaaattt?
Trailrunner at an AS: Thanks guys!
Roadie at an AS: Gatdorate! That %&$# was standing too close to the water!!
05/13/23 Traverse City Trail Festival 25K
08/19/23 Marquette 50 dns 🙄