So where have I heard this before??? (Read 368 times)

Public service announcement to the new (and new-ish) people: This is all there is. It never gets any better or more coherent than this.

 

Sport jester isn't some brilliant misunderstood genius. He's not a coach. He doesn't work with the Navy Seals and he's not re-writing the Army's APTF training manual. He's just a very odd dude who has no friends, is estranged from his family, and can't hold a job. He has on occasion gotten some unsuspecting people to take him seriously like a local news team--who due to the implosion of the local news business model, can't afford to fact check every special interest story--or some fitness blogger who used to be in the military. But it's all nonsense.

 

He has been trolling internet message boards like this for literally decades--at least as far back as Coolrunning. The "Kenyan women carrying cargo on their heads" anecdote is literally 20 years old. He shows up here every so often and tries to get people to "interact" with him until enough people call him out on his bullshit and he hurls insults at everyone then disappears for a while. Sometimes nobody takes the bait and his foray ends pretty quickly. Other times he gets one or two people to interact with him in good faith (like Nimmals and Otter have this time) and it take a little longer to run its course. But it always ends the same. I have no idea (nor do I want to know) what he does in the months when he's gone from here--maybe he's on some other corner oft he internet or maybe he's lurking in the fitness center at the Portland Marriott harassing people who are just trying to get a run in before they go to their business meeting.

 

Occasionally he runs into someone like Otter who actually knows what they're talking about. When they patiently ask questions and challenge his nonsense with facts and actual knowledge of how runners generate speed and power, he deflects to something completely unrelated like a former alpine ski racer having his center of mass over the tails of his skis when exiting turns--never mind the fact that his polyurethane boots lock the ski racer's ankle into a 12 degree forward lean or that he's riding on boards that are 165 to 215cm in length depending on discipline, or that his sport relies entirely on gravity to generate forward motion. The more nonsensical and unrelated the better. I've never understood the people who see such obvious trolling from a guy with the screen name "sport jester" (like, hellooo?) and think yeah I'm gonna argue in good faith with that guy because that's a good use of my time. But to each his own.

 

I've normally just taken the approach of ignoring him until he goes away but since srlopez isn't around to publish the normal fair warning, I figured I would jump in just in case there's anyone following this train wreck and unclear about what's going on. We've seen this movie many, many times. It always ends the same.

Well, thanks to CORONAVIRUS TIME, I wandered in and GREAT HORNY TOADS, YALL.
Anyway, Mikey Mike Mike has it covered.
I've been playing Dumb Fu with this guy since 2003. It. Never. Changes.

Oh, and once upon a time when I lived in the PNW, I challenged him to a friendly little run and he accepted. But then, he started putting  a bunch of junk disclaimers and qualifiers on the bet so I called it off out of abject stupidity.

Also, he claims he was at several races I ran, but I never saw him.

Ok, as you were.

REALLY???? Days of silence and a cut and paste barf of someone elses words is the best anyone can do? And nothing more than worthless innuendos…

Oh, princesses, you’re stretching at this point to me. I do appreciate the vague assertions, and the pathetic rumors which of course have nothing to do with my story. They simply prove the cowardice most cater to. It’s as if an advertising intern for a shoe company was trying to write a pathetic propaganda piece in attempt to slander me with absolutely no facts to back up what they write. Goebbels would have been so proud. As the Nazi’s say, “the individual is smaller than the issue.”

Nothing like the joys of scaring such emotional little children.

Ok, so let’s go through this one more time…

“Sport jester isn't some brilliant misunderstood genius.”- Hmmm, given the word genius has been used in print by someone else in coaching to describe me, I find it odd he's never quoted to his opinion, “which he claims make people faster, more efficient and less injury-prone--have been called "genius" by Portland State track coach Tony Veney”. He was also very correct at the time my running technique was focused to distance runners. I didn’t really begin to study T-Rex seriously until I was asked to coach a track client privately in 2009.

“He's not a coach.”- I’m not. I’m a scientist. I study better athletes and teach their skills. Coaches get banned for cheating with drugs. I don’t need them. Oh and for the companies selling you more expensive shoes to accomplish what coaches can’t sounds like the perfect bait and switch sales pitch to defraud the public. I can make you a faster runner. Coaches and shoes can’t.

Salazar is a useless idiot and I have the email history with him to prove it as is any other parasite calling themselves a, “running coach.” Salazar already proved his skills as, “coach of the year.” If he’s your profession’s, “best,” then I’m not impressed.  Not to mention how little room there is to respect anyone who knows even less than he does. The good news is that Alberto can coach you as a pharmacist as well as runner…

“He doesn't work with the Navy Seals” Given the head of SEAL Team Six is one of my students, started with volunteering to assist in training them for BUD/S in my home city. Especially given military lab data exists to back up any word I write for credibility, how exactly does that grandiose assertion even begin to have merit. I don’t teach people how to lift weight, I teach them how to carry it. That’s why I teach SEALs and you don’t.

“And he's not re-writing the Army's APTF training manual.”- Hey idiot, it’s APFT first of all, so get your acronyms straight.

Not to mention the APFT is a test, not a training manual if you had anything beyond a barstool education. Thanks for proving you don’t.

“He's just a very odd dude who has no friends, is estranged from his family, and can't hold a job.”- Of course, no defamation is complete without personal attacks when I can’t be refuted by any science. Simply because I’m not stupid enough to be your friend doesn’t mean I don’t have them. Are you in rank higher than Colonel? That’s my beginning level of friendship.

“He has on occasion gotten some unsuspecting people to take him seriously”- You’re so right, especially since orthopedic surgeons are the most easily duped athletes one can find. If you notice to the story documentation, my participation was from the panel’s table perspective, not the audience. How exactly did that happen? By saving the Army $3.9 million dollars they were wasting every year on weapons design research being conducted by useless fools with educations no better than yours…

“...like a local news team…can't afford to fact check every special interest story,”- Speaking of not fact checking stories, the pathetic charade continues…

If news teams have so much time on their hands, why wouldn’t they check my references? Oh, that’s right, because they know they’re legitimate otherwise they wouldn’t have done the story in the first place. Not to mention a media record with them going back decades for credibility. I’m still waiting for anyone to post any link to anything any vulture here ever accomplished. I’ve had articles written about me and publish my own since the 1990’s. What has any vulture here done beyond picking at the carcasses of those who know less than you do for validation?

By the way, did Burfoot ever tell you the target market of Runners World or any other fitness magazine? It’s midlife crisis adults, not race winners. He stated he couldn’t match my 20% improvement claim and that wasn't the point of my teaching him. He had no motivation to run 20% faster either. Why would he admit in print to me knowing more than he does about running?

By the way, he never said it was a less efficient way to run either.

Besides a barstool, I’m still waiting to meet the first person with any education, let alone have a multi-year relationship with Nike’s Innovation Kitchen to pursue one's research in elite performance. Did you ever call the TV station by the way and ask what my credentials to the story actually were??? No, of course not. Cowards despise facts and rarely seek them.

“Occasionally he runs into someone like Otter who actually knows what they’re talking about.”- Oh, please. If he knew what he was talking about, explain his pathetic ineptness to describe the biomechanic differences between clockwise and counterclockwise running despite being a, “certified cross country running coach.” Oh wait, he has to deflect to high jumping as his rationale in defense to being proven a complete idiot. Since I teach a reduction of physical displacement, I’m well aware one doesn’t high jump their way down a marathon course. But I’m sure Otter has, which is why neither he, nor any student of his has won the Boston Marathon…

Not to mention almost forgot being published by the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Is anyone else able to send a link of any similar academic level of recognition?

“or some fitness blogger who used to be in the military.” I wonder what a former SEAL would think to how you refer to him, especially since in his own words he states, “Robert is one of the fastest / efficient walkers I have ever seen. Learning to walk this way could be very beneficial to load bearing marches we do in the military.”

“But it's all nonsense.”- Which is why Ft. Leavenworth’s moniker is, “The Intellectual Center of the Army.” If anyone deems my world nonsense, then please publish your itinerary to being invited and what subject panel you were leading at the time? Not to mention the irony being it was a symposium to discuss human intelligence. Which of course obviously explains why you weren’t there. Did you notice by the way the two letters before my name which highlights the difference between your definition of nonsense and any General or orthopedic surgeon I’ve ever met?

“He deflects to something completely unrelated like a former alpine ski racer having his center of mass over the tails of his skis when exiting turns.”-No, he has no center of mass, regardless to what boot he wears, so that screws up your debating validity doesn’t it…

But an educated expert in skiing biomechanics would understand that fact. Thanks for proving your stupidity in that subject as well.

Oh, and Since the balance principles of RSS are used in designing jet fighters and race cars, how are the agility skills they require unrelated to the maneuverability needs of an elite skier? And how would RSS not apply to any rotational sport athlete such as soccer, basketball, and many others with high risk to tearing their Anterior Cruciate Ligaments, let alone cross country runners?

“Or maybe he’s lurking in the fitness center of the Portland Marriott.”- Well first off, that would mean I’ve worked there since 1996. How does that meet your, “can’t hold a job,” assertion if that were true?

And not to forget the running challenge. I don’t deny that at all. My point then and is now, is beating me in a race doesn’t take much. Having been hit 40ft by a pickup truck one day, ruined my abilities to run any distance at any competitive speed. If you’re going to prove your skill in open competition then the easiest way to compare them isn’t one of horizontal abilities, it’s one of vertical measure.

My stipulation at the time was to have a competition based on equal amounts of food intake and compare who could travel furthest at the highest level of treadmill incline. Because that’s how I train my clients.

I don’t care how long it takes you to run 1000 ft in horizontal direction, my question is how long it takes you to climb 1000ft in vertical direction at a 30 degree level of treadmill incline? Because that measure will be the new standard of the Army's physical fitness test.

The joke of the story is that running faster isn’t difficult. Unfortunately, the faster you run, the less wear and tear on your shoes. If you want to know why I’m so hated by the sports industry, my answer is simple, and they know it’s true; learning to run my way would double the life of your shoes.

To improve in speed, one must reduce the friction impact of the body in both joint function and surface impact resistance to improve running economy. That was my end goal in all of this. My premise was in direct opposition to the barefoot running theory which was based upon the idea argued shoes were unnatural (So where are the barefoot running, “experts,” today by the way?). I totally disagree. Humans need shoes.

And in the photo posted of the Aborigines, shows the footprint history they left. My pretense was that the human body was designed to leave a footprint. Modern humans as a concrete moving culture have one biomechanic problem; we can’t leave a footprint anymore.

What I teach is based on the idea that it isn’t shoes which are unnatural, concrete is. So, I set out to create a running technique specifically designed for hard surface running. If you’ve watched the Soldier video, then you’d hear the audible difference of bodyweight reduction in what I teach.

And if I cut your bodyweight impact forces in half, I’ve just doubled the life of your shoes.

Which is the end joke of all of this to me. You have no idea how much money you’re wasting arguing with me…

REALLY???? Days of silence and a cut and paste barf of someone elses words is the best anyone can do? And nothing more than worthless innuendos… 

...

Which is the end joke of all of this to me. You have no idea how much money you’re wasting arguing with me…

You aren't worth any more than that.  Even your amusement value has diminished to virtually zero.

When is your cure for coronavirus coming out?