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I started writing a book... (Read 957 times)

    It's not about running, yet!   The main character is going to try to set the 7th grade record in the mile later on in the book.  This is just the first chapter.

     

    *** I took the link down because I have a literary agent now! ***


    Samurai in Training

      A fun personal project.


      Revenge of the Nerd

        The artwork is good, if a tad violent.  Will O.K. win the mile race by fighting "dirty" or will he win it through sheer determination and effort?  Good luck with the book!

        One of these days is none of these days.

        ~ H.G. Bohn

          The artwork is good, if a tad violent.  Will O.K. win the mile race by fighting "dirty" or will he win it through sheer determination and effort?  Good luck with the book!

           

          O.K. will win through hard work and effort.  It will be a satisfying victory, but another separate event will ruin his chances at any adulation he deserved.  My mother said it was too violent too.  I guess I have to tone down the fighting pictures.


          Samurai in Training

            I'm not sure it is too violent for a 7th grade audience.  Is that you audience?  It seems like you are writing to a few different age levels TBH.

             

            All constructive.

              I'm not sure it is too violent for a 7th grade audience.  Is that you audience?  It seems like you are writing to a few different age levels TBH.

               

              All constructive.

               

              Yeah, It's for 7th graders or there about.  I'm a 6th grade teacher, and I'm going to use my classes as kind of a test lab to see what they like or dislike about the story/pictures.  I am trying to up the vocabulary a little in parts.  Is that why it seems to be at different age levels?  

                Yeah, It's for 7th graders or there about.  I'm a 6th grade teacher, and I'm going to use my classes as kind of a test lab to see what they like or dislike about the story/pictures.  I am trying to up the vocabulary a little in parts.  Is that why it seems to be at different age levels?  

                 

                It seems to be aimed at different levels because most books for that age level are past pictures. Are you planning to self-publish or what is your end goal?

                "Don't feel like running today...suck it up and run ...you're an athlete." (John Stanton, founder & owner of The Running Room)

                 

                "The person who starts the race is not the same person who finishes the race."

                  I think it's hilarious, especially the illustrations.  I'm glad you aren't "writing down" to your audience.  They'll get it.

                   

                  Violent?  Has anyone watched TV or movies or video games lately?

                  Well at least someone here is making relevance to the subject.

                    It seems to be aimed at different levels because most books for that age level are past pictures. Are you planning to self-publish or what is your end goal?

                     

                     

                    Yeah, some kids are past pictures I guess, but there are book series like "Big Nate," "Diary of a Wimpy Kid," and my personal favorite, "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian" that include a lot of pictures.  There's also Hugo.  Plus there's graphic novels like "Bone" and so much more.  From what I see at my school, a lot of the boys prefer writing and pictures, to just writing.  

                     

                    My goal is to get it published.  I am going to keep putting out chapters every week and then hopefully, if it's good, it will attract an audience.  Then it will be easier to attract a publisher.  That's the theory anyway.

                    Arie2.0


                    Meat is Murder

                      My son will love it. Keep us posted.

                      In the land of the blind, the one eye man is king.

                        My son will love it. Keep us posted.

                         

                        Will do!

                          Congrats!! Great start!! You are totally inspiring me to get words down on a page again.

                           

                          I suspect as a grade 6 teacher, you already know how kids that age talk: scary how quickly they grow up huh? I, too, am glad you aren't dumbing it down. Keep it smart and entertaining and they'll keep reading!  Love the starry-eyed girl...reminds me of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

                           

                          I would love to see more depth--even in those first three chapters. But since I don't know how your story goes, maybe it's actually not important in the scheme of things?

                             

                            Yeah, It's for 7th graders or there about. 

                             

                            Isn't that a little young for the beer mile?

                             

                               

                              Isn't that a little young for the beer mile?

                               

                               

                              He was eating Maraschino Cherries!

                                Tief please take any criticism with a grain of salt. I think your story is really good. I have been glued to your first three chapters.

                                 

                                Chapter four was a little bit of a disappointment for me. I felt the whole bathroom scene in the beginning may have been a little over the top for the audience. I could be wrong. But I felt some people might find the "tie a bow" and "put a cork in it" bathroom talk a little offensive. I don't know if there is a way to tone it down a tad.  Especially since a teacher was involved in the back and forth. I liked the gym teacher a lot and the intro to the Wall of Greatness.

                                 

                                My only other criticism is a minor one.  The mile times were too slow. Assuming some of your readers are middle school miler's you may want the time to be impressive and realistic to them.

                                 

                                I coach distance for a  middle school track team at a sprint school. We are a large school and I like to think I train them right. We have a couple of decent miler's each year. But by no means are we a distance factory. On a good year my 8th graders are sub 5:10. In one of our races last year our top kid ran 5:09. The top runners from the distance factories both ran 4:55, and 4:54 (I had never seen that before). My top 7th grade girls will run sub 6:10. A top 7th grade boy will run sub 5:20. I believe the 8th grade kid that ran 4:55 last year ran 5:03 as a 7th grader. Obviously I know there are national elites that go way faster than that. But my suggestion is if you want a time that would be an impressive but obtainable record for a middle school kid you might want to pick something around 5:00 or a few seconds slower for a 7th grade record. That said I know your time is for a gym class and not a track team. So that might be an accurate time. I just see my runners as thinking of that time as slow.

                                Fall  2013 Goals: Doable sub 22:00 5k; Challenging Sub 21:00 5k; Unlikely Sub 20:00 5k.

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