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Mr. Peterman (Read 377 times)


A Dance with Monkeys

    May 11, 2007 Mr. J. Peterman The J. Peterman Company 1001 Primrose Court Lexington, KY 40511 My dear Mr. Peterman, I suspect that you can begin to imagine my delight as I opened the package you recently sent to me. Contained in an otherwise nondescript brown cardboard box were several items that caused me unexpected pleasure. There in that plain package, a trove of fine shirts awaited me. A rich and cozy button-up plaid in dark earthy tones now attends the return of cooler weather. A light, if a bit puffy, navy top reminds me of afternoons spent sipping inky coffee in Otavalo while plotting my next ascent on Ecaudor’s higher mountain peaks. And my perennial favorite, the simple linen shirt that bears your own name promises to carry me through the coming weekends as Summer meanders in. Mr. Peterman, thank you for sharing your collection with me. But now I must ask a small favor. It seems that two of the shirts are sized to fit a man who is more traveled than I. The shirts, you see, have space to hold abundant muscles and a much taller frame. Please forgive me as I humbly send back the Otavalo shirt and the Peterman shirt and request them in a more unassuming size. Medium, I believe, would suit me well. I see in the documents sent with the shirt that there is some paperwork that I should fill out when requesting this exchange, but I saw no sign of the paperwork itself. So for this I also ask forgiveness, and I hope that my words here in this letter were explicit enough to make it clear what I am requesting. Mr. Peterman, thank you for taking time away from your travels to read my communiqué. I look forward to hearing about your continued adventures, and to reading any missives you see fit to forward my direction. Please do not hesitate to call on me if there is anything more that you need regarding the current matter, or anything else. Yours in linen, Trent


    I've got a fever...

      Nice. Even though it was addressed to Peterman, I couldn't help but hear John O'Hurley's voice in my head as I was reading it.

      On your deathbed, you won't wish that you'd spent more time at the office.  But you will wish that you'd spent more time running.  Because if you had, you wouldn't be on your deathbed.