12

I started writing a book... (Read 957 times)

    Hey Justin,

     

    I thought that part with the teacher was too over the top too.  I really did hear a teacher tell a student that though, but with Leo being Mrs. Nealy's son, I should tone it down.

     

    I'm just going off of memory for the mile times when I was in school.  I guess since I ran under 5 in 9th grade, it would be reasonable to have the mile time in the mid 5's for a 7th grader.

      Mid fives would definitely be a good time. If you want it to be a time that could be potentially shattered you may even want it to be around 5:45. And have O.K. run 5:15 or lower.

      Fall  2013 Goals: Doable sub 22:00 5k; Challenging Sub 21:00 5k; Unlikely Sub 20:00 5k.

        I liked chapter 5 a lot. Keep up the good work.

        Fall  2013 Goals: Doable sub 22:00 5k; Challenging Sub 21:00 5k; Unlikely Sub 20:00 5k.

          My son will love it. Keep us posted.

           

          +1. I will ask my son to read it tomorrow.

           

          Also, I hope you will build the story to inspire kids to run and work hard to be great rather than simply try to make it funny through Otis's personal misery and the typical middle school trash talk. We already have diary of a wimpy kid for that.

          running is somewhat like playing golf to me.   crappy shots all day long, ready to give it up & wondering why I'm trying so hard just to get this stupid little ball into a stupid little hole but then out of the blue comes a monster drive or a long putt that actually gets into the cup.  bingo! that one shot keeps me going for the rest of day no matter how crappy I continue to play & gets me back out again on another day.   strange. -- skyedog

             

            +1. I will ask my son to read it tomorrow.

             

            Also, I hope you will build the story to inspire kids to run and work hard to be great rather than simply try to make it funny through Otis's personal misery and the typical middle school trash talk. We already have diary of a wimpy kid for that.

             

            Got to say, I'm turned off by writing that contains blatant moralizing, so I hope that "inspire kids" is subtle, if it must be a goal.

             

            Enjoying the story.

            Well at least someone here is making relevance to the subject.

              Yeah.  I'm not trying to make another Diary of a Wimpy Kid.  That said, I'm not going to beat kids over the head with some message, although hard work does help Otis in the end.

                I like the chapter Montage of Champions. The only criticism is it seems more adult centered than for your middle school audience. As an adult runner, I appreciate the terminology, but a 7th grader isn't going to be into hearing about tempo runs, progressive runs, etc. The fartlek run is something they'd find funny and I like what you did with that aspect of it.
                Also as a middle school student, odds are that chafing and sore nipples aren't going to be an issue. I don't ever remember getting them in high school and I ran a ton. Think I just didn't have the body fat. Even now I don't have that issue unless I run more than 10 miles or more. Odds are O.K. isn't doing many 10 milers.

                Fall  2013 Goals: Doable sub 22:00 5k; Challenging Sub 21:00 5k; Unlikely Sub 20:00 5k.

                  I am a little worried it would be too much for a middle schooler.  I might have to tone down a few things, although it made me laugh as I was writing it.  The nipple thing would happen to me if it was a rainy day.

                    Rules

                    1. Respect

                    2. Respect

                    3. Did you read rules one and two?

                     

                    Yes, respect is really important at all times.

                    we should prioritize our health and body. my site

                      The book got me a literary agent.  She said it  probably will get published.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

                       

                      Thanks for all the help!  I took the link down now.  Sorry if you missed it, but here's hoping it will be in stores a year from now.

                      12