>Off the Beaten Path>Elf On A Shelf = creepy
Princess Cancer Pants
• Return to kicking my own ass by 2018
She was not strong. She was valiant. Radiant. Brave and broken. The beauty she discovered in the aftermath was unparalleled to anything she had known before, because it had come at such a cost.
Elves don't kill people, shelves kill people.
It's a 5k. It hurt like hell...then I tried to pick it up. The end.
I'm running out of shelves. Ava was pissed that he was sitting in a toy yesterday. This morning I set him above the bathroom mirror so he could make sure she brushed her teeth. Unfortunately Ava had trouble pooping with him staring at her. Whoops.
It has been pretty loud in my house, our elf might need a little vacation. I hope he doesn't run into any zombies. That would be ugly.
I have to admit I'm glad this wasn't a thing when my kids were little. I was doing well to remember Tooth Fairy duty. Wait....I didn't always remember.
My kid lost a tooth tonight, so I have friggin' double duty. Ha ha...I'm giving the elf the moolah, and the kid can't touch it for 24 hours!
So far "Peter" has put a straw straight into the bottle of crown, climbed the baby gate like a stripper pole and tied up Rapunzel for a good ol' fashioned elving. Who knew those creepy little bastards could be so fun?
I don't half-ass anything
"I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die a horrible death' and thon, which means 'for a stupid T-shirt.' Look it up." - Celia Rivenbark, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning
Creepy pervy elf!
Slice: HILARIOUS. That is awesome.
My elf has had enough
Our neighbor posted this..
I am DYING. Those are HILARIOUS.
Running is stupid