Something's rotten in Denmark... (Read 855 times)


    Okay, another rare guy, and infrequent forum dude who is stupid brave enough to have a take ... As I search the internet now for good deadbolt locks for my daughter's door, I thought I'd at least share my 2 pesos. From the beginning, and in my opinion, as a parent I guess you can choose to teach (or desire) one of two paths, ... "abstinence until marriage" or "please be careful." It seems you've chosen the latter and I think you seem to be doing a pretty good job there. There's been some great advice here in terms of condoms and lots and lots of reminders and teaching, as only a loving momma can! Something my wife and I are concentrating on and I would encourage you to do (you may be) is to continue to "romance your child's heart." We are reading a book with that title that really talks about making sure you stay in their heart. Don't let that channel of communication close. Be as strict as you want, but then make sure you're as wacky as you can get once in a while too. So often we (I) get wrapped up in keeping them safe and teaching them, that we forget to love them and do things for and with them, ... especially things that they like, and they know we don't. To me it's like being there for them physically, intellectually and maybe even spiritually, ... but not emotionally. This is a big deal in the daddy/daughter connection, too. At some point, no matter what, the little buggers are going to be out of our hands soon enough,... making all their own decisions. We just need to make sure that they know that no matter what they get into out there, they can always come home. The last thing I thoguht about is what about embracing this boy yourself? (no, not THAT way). There could be an element of telling your daughter "You are unbelievably important to me, so if he's important to you, then he's important to me, too." Whether it's inviting him to any family stuff, or buying movie tickets for your daughter and he to go out, it would show your daughter you are serious in saying SHE is more important than the decisions/mistakes she might make. This could serve two purposes ... if she's hanging with him just to make you mad, ... it won't work any more and he might go away. OR if she's serious about him, you may be able to keep them closer to your supervision, and you'll have a better realtionship with your daughter and maybe even this man boy. Maybe you could even help make him a better boy! Being a guy, I think I've used up about all of my words for the day, so I'll shut up now. Ladies, ... be gentle! **note to self: get an avatar.**
      At the moment she is grounded 'until we see improvement all round'. Unfortunately although Alice claims to understand this she came home from school two hours late yesterday and left an hour early today. Because of this we have changed the internet password and the video club password and next week I will start taking her to and from school (I just passed my driving test yesterday). We told her that she had to start helping around the house but it's been a few days and she hasn't lifted a finger. The grounding will stay until she changes and I can see this getting worse before it gets better. Claire xxx
      She needs to be assigned specific tasks, with a deadline if needed, if you want her to help. Otherwise, those fingers are staying right where they are right now. She is clearly testing you. And she clearly cannot follow instructions, so I think you are totally doing the right thing to escort her to school. If that doesnt work, try escorting her to her classroom. That should embarass her enough that she wont play hookie again! I hope the worse part lasts briefly and things get much better really quickly!
        From the beginning, and in my opinion, as a parent I guess you can choose to teach (or desire) one of two paths, ... "abstinence until marriage" or "please be careful."
        I think you can preach both. Try something like this: You are not to have sex. You are way too young and you cannot make those decisions right how. Do not even think about it. But just in case you choose to do so anyway, heres what you need to know. I know the arguement goes that that says we think sex is OK, but I think you can talk about values and beliefs and all that kind of stuff so that your kid knows what you value. And lets face it: the dont have sex approach just doesnt work.