Wacky 5K Chicago Race (Good Laugh Here!!) (Read 690 times)

This was to be my first 5K in at least 10 years. I was psyched up for this race and as some of you know, I came down with a chest cold last weekend. This morning I was over it for the most part, but still had some phlegm coming up this morning. Not a big deal. The fun started yesterday afternoon. After having sushi for lunch I started to get really intense pain in my groin and right lower abdomen. I have a long and painful history with kidney stones. Based on the fact that I had a lot of blood in my urine a couple of weeks ago, I thought “well, here we go again.” I have a real hard time passing even the smallest stones. I went to a local ER and told the doctor it felt like a kidney stone and given my extensive history, she thought it probably was too. A CT scan proved otherwise. I had no kidney stone, but had an impacted rectum. In other words, I was full of shit. This came as quite a shock to me because I don’t have constipation problems. I eat a very high fiber diet, etc. But, oh well this is better than a stone. I told her that I had a race this morning and she said it might be problematic because the laxative she was going to give me was going to drain all of the water (along with everything else) from my digestive system. I would, therefore, likely be dehydrated and my electrolytes would be totally out of whack. I applied the laxatives from both ends and went home. 15 trips to the toilet later (you can laugh now) and about ten pounds lighter, I got up this morning feeling less than 100% but I wasn’t going to miss this race. I got downtown and during my warm-up I could tell it was going to be a crap race. Something just didn’t ‘feel’ right. I was having major anxiety about shitting myself during the race like Uta Pippig did at Boston in 1996. If any of you have seen that video then you know Dear Uta HTFU on that day. The race started and my HRM wasn’t working because it was getting no signal from the transmitter. It was about 42 and very windy so I guess my chest was too dry and I forgot to put some spit on it before the start. Well, it was perceived exertion time. I went out about 5 seconds behind the lead group of about 7. I went through the first mile in 5:40, and I thought “man, that’s slower than where I thought I would be”. I was hoping to run at least 5:30’s or faster. It just got worse from there. My insides started cramping which prevented me from staying relaxed. Once I got tense my pace suffered. I finished in a disappointing 18:50. I was 24th out of 958 total finishers and 3rd of 71 in my age group. At least I got a medal. Next 5K is in two weeks, I am going to hope I am not crapping my guts and nuts out before that one and maybe I might run a little faster.

Wow, what a crappy story! You may not feel that 18:50 was so hot - but I'm damn impressed that you went to the race at all after all those problems. Congrats on the finish!

Chicago winters suck, but the summers are much nicer than Austin summers.

*waves from across the lake* Yeah...we get to bitch all Winter, but running in the Great Lakes region in the Summer is downright cool (though often no less humid) than much of the rest of the US.

Maybe that's why I am so slow... I'm full of sh*t?!? That's still a blazing race dude! Congratulations under the less than perfect GI conditions Marcus!

Do you know if results of this race are posted online somewhere? I ran in it too but can't seem to find them. Anyways, I'm sure you will bounce back in 2 weeks

The results will be somewhere on www.chicagoevents.com but their website is way slow and appears to be down right now.

So is there a bunch of us running the St Patty's 5k on the 15th?

I am, but I thought it is on the 16th?