RD's with a sense of humor (Read 1544 times)



    "Runners are restricted to the bike lane on the eastbound side of rt 53 by CONES, COMMON SENSE, FEAR, POLICE, AND CAR TRAFFIC"


    I like this.


    Any other amusing race instructions out there?

    Come all you no-hopers, you jokers and rogues
    We're on the road to nowhere, let's find out where it goes

      Not an instruction, but humor, nonetheless:


      I understand that running is stupid, and so am I for wanting to run this race. And yet, I will run knowing full well that I could get hot, cold, wet, bit, struck by a vehicle , lightning, or hail, kicked by a cow or a horse, tripped by another runner, dehydrated, sun burnt, headache, heart troubles, nausea, loose bowels, blisters, offended, discouraged, hungry, or just plum tuckered. Furthermore, I could even die. And that's not all. And I admit I only have myself to blame. Even so, it is with sound mind that I choose to participate.

      "If you have the fire, run..." -John Climacus


        I stumble across these occasionally, but I usually don't remember them.  Hmmm.




        There is a race called "Dude, Where's the Trail".  It's not my kind of thing, but some people like stuff like that.


        There once was a Maniac who fancies herself as famous and superstar-y.  She ran this race 5 or 6 years ago.  And for 5 or 6 years (and counting), she continually rips on this race at every opportunity because it wasn't marked well, it had crazy footing, and she felt lost several times.


        I hate getting lost too... HATE IT... but come on.  If the race is called "Dude Where's the Trail", what the hell did you think it was going to be like??


          Trent is too modest.  Most everyone knows this here, but some won't:


                   Ours has become an age of flat and fast marathons on city streets and in urban jungles, with more focus on times, course certification, gadgets, charities and putting on a big show than on running. Many modern marathons have become spectacles rather than athletic events. But it was not always this way. Marathons used to be about running for the sake of running. They were about pushing oneself beyond the physiologic limits of the human body. While running.

                   The Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon is meant to be an antidote. Featured in Marathon & Beyond and in Runners' World magazines, it is a marathon that is about running. Running hard. Running over big and memorable and painful rolling hills through dense woods. Running with other like-minded athletes. The Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon is about the joy and pain of running a unique, and uniquely challenging--some would say beastly--26.2 mile course in the beautiful and historic Percy Warner Park, nestled among the Middle Tennessee Harpeth Hills.

                   We will time and measure the distance, but the course will not be certified, we will not use timing chips, and it will not be a Boston qualifying event. If you get to the end and you (or your gadget) believe the route to be long, we won't charge you extra; if you believe it to be short, just keep running. There will be no bands, cheerleaders, wave starts or crowds. We promise no marathon Personal Records, but we guarantee every runner a PR - a Permanent Remembrance of a well-earned marathon finish. We promise to give you approximately 26.2 tough and memorable miles, with a total of over 3600 feet each of elevation gain and loss, or over 7200 feet of overall elevation change.

                    Sure, there are other road marathons out there claiming to be America's toughest. But they are no Monkey. Come out and join us in Nashville. We look forward to seeing you.

            There once was a Maniac who fancies herself as famous and superstar-y. 

             Do tell.

            "Famous last words"  ~Bhearn


              The next line mentions something about racing in Nantucket.


              Hold the Mayo

                Stumpy's Marathon (http://dottschemistry.wikispaces.com/Stumpy%27s+Marathon),


                including this gem in the information doc:


                "Our motto is, “It’s not a trail race if nobody gets lost.”  You enter this race at your own risk, and are solely responsible for your own welfare and safety at ALL times.  Don’t blame any race volunteer or organizer if you wander off trail, can’t find a porta-potty in time, run into trees, trip over rocks or roots, fall down, get bitten by God knows what, get run over crossing a road, drown in the creek, or otherwise injure your body or self esteem.  The race course may include: dirt, bugs, water, dirty bugs, dirty water, mud, rocks, roots, fallen trees, muddy squirrels, dirty snakes, the toothless guys from Deliverance suggesting you make a noise like a piggie, and other low-down nasty stuff.  Think of it this way:  If even one runner completes the course without injury, they you could have done so also.  If anything goes wrong, IT IS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT.  The act of starting this race, implies your complete agreement with the foregoing statement."


                This race just made my bucket list.


                  The slogan of the Wyoming Marathon (aka, "the one near Laramie") is...


                  "The Wyoming Marathon: where the race director promises you nothing... and he delivers."





                    first part of GUTS membership waiver

                    "I know that running, volunteering and hanging out during society events and races are potentially dangerous activities.
                    Albeit getting up in the morning can be scary too."

                      I got a chuckle out of this, from the Cascade Crest 100 runner's manual:


                      Canine Companions
                      We like dogs and trails and especially dogs on trails. Some of you are planning to run with your furry
                      best friends during the race and we encourage you to do so. If you have your dog on the course you
                      must have crew, you must take very, very good care of your pooch in the heat of the day and please be
                      respectful of other runners. There are absolutely no vets nearby. Dogs who join the beginning or end of
                      the run through Easton must have their runners on a leash.

                      Runners without dogs... we strongly advise you not to run in a mail carrier's uniform.

                      You'll ruin your knees!

                        You can hunker down in a valley for 2-4 hours and still finish; but, if you get fried by lightning your running career may end on the spot. 

                        ""...the truth that someday, you will go for your last run. But not today—today you got to run." - Matt Crownover (after Western States)



                          And, check out all the other apps on their site.  Ron Horn is a master of humor on his race apps.


                            You can hunker down in a valley for 2-4 hours and still finish; but, if you get fried by lightning your running career may end on the spot. 


                            hehehe.  I know that one.   Big grin

                            Am I doing this right?

                              You're supposed to read the fine print before signing? 



                              No excuses....