One Year Running / Worst Year Ever (Read 259 times)

    On Sunday October 29th 2017 at age 43 I decided to see how fast I could run one mile, I finished in 9:49 and was absolutely destroyed. After finishing two races in December & January I found this forum and posted some very typical new running seeking advice posts and all of the replies were very helpful, more mileage, my 4 mile weeks were not going to help my 5K time. I was shooting for finish a race in 2018 with a sub 7 minute mile average pace.


    February 3rd 2018 was the first time I ran five miles, shocked I made it that far, could not wait to share this with my wife. Never got that chance as she passed away unexpectedly that afternoon after from sudden cardiac arrest. She died without me being able to see her, to say good bye, to tell her that I loved her more than anything in the world, just taken from us without notice. Decided I was done with running, the thought of going to races without her support was unbearable. However over time I would go out for a mile or 1.5 mile runs and just felt terrible. Later in February ran the same 5 mile loop and after that day, for the first time felt some level of comfort afterwards, something I had not felt up until that time. Long, unbearably slow runs followed for months, the miles added up and the consistent thing was when I was done I felt O.K., relieved, some sort of comfort.


    Now exactly one year after running my first mile I have run in eleven  5K races (got to a 7:21 average) and never would have imagined that on that one random Sunday, trying to sprint a mile, would eventually set me up with a hobby, an outlet that has been the only thing that has gotten me through this awful year. So thank you for anyone who has replied to my posts and I have generally learned so much from this site this past year.




      I'm so sorry about your wife. I'm glad you were able to have something else to focus on this year, and I hope that this next year will be much easier on you.

      No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.

        I vaguely remember your story.

        I'm very sorry for your loss.

        Thank you for sharing and posting an update in this forum.

        I pray you begin to / continue to find peace in your journey.

        Life Goals:

        #1: Do what I can do

        #2: Enjoy life





          Jay, I hate that you've experienced such immense loss...but I'm thankful that you've had running to offer some comfort and therapy as you work through your grief.

          Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

          remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.    

               ~ Sarah Kay

          Train SMART

            This is great. Happy you have running as an outlet and "feel good" hobby.

            Run Coach. Founder of SMART Approach Training.


              I think it sometimes happens like that. I can remember going home after one of my first "runs" and excitedly telling my husband I'd run two whole laps around the track without stopping. Congrats on your journey, I hope it continues to give you enjoyment for many years to come. I'm so sorry you don't have your wife to share it with.

              That's Ms Squeak to you!

                Oh Jay, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I also had an incredibly rough year, and lost my sister to cancer. Nothing makes it feel better, does it? I have not run in 6 months, and due to my other beautiful sister poking me a bit and doing C25K have started running again this week. Slowly back into it. I keep reminding myself running is a good healer. For me part of the grief is that running is something I used to do with my ex, so reclaiming it as my own is tough.


                ...and thats why I’m back here. The community is lovely. Hugs to you (and to all replying to you as well)





                  I'm so sorry for your loss, Jay.  I can't imagine how devastating that must have been.  I'm glad running has given you some peace.  Praying that 2019 brings you more peace and happiness.

                    Thank you for reaching out. My first 5K was last year in Needham MA on 1/1/18 and struggled to finish in 24:27 (it was 1 degree at the start). Stopped racing at the end of November but on Christmas Eve signed up for the same race and am so glad I did. The ONLY time I ever feel OK is after a race or hard run. Finished today in 22:48 (55 degrees at the start). Never quite reached my goal of finishing a 5K race with a sub 7 minute average  mile, but that is fine. The idea that I could live, function or do anything at all (seriously) after losing Beth, was not something I could have imagined. But to continue on with some purpose has been what has kept me going. Will continue to update on this site and for anyone who reads this, Thank You. I can truly say running, training & racing has served me well.




                    Got Run, eh? in 2022

                      Jay (and Monica too), sorry to hear you are grieving such big losses. I'm glad running is there for you and glad you've found RA. Smile

                      Half Fanatic #9292.