Forums >General Running>"Training" for Boston while raising a newborn
Pavement Shredder
Hello runners!
My name is Eddie and while I'm new here, I'm not new to running! Last March I ran my 7th Marathon and in the process set a PR and qualified for Boston! At the finish line I was overwhelmed after seeing the time on the clock, but that was nothing compared to what was to come. I met my wife who told me that I was going to be a dad! To ride the wave I added a 5k PR a month later! I never felt faster!
Fast forward to end of October, I ran an underwhelming half marathon and I realized I had a lot of work to do to prepare for Boston! Less than a month later my son was born and I wasn't quite concerned with running! I had plenty of time to run, but the opportunity to bond with my son was one that I could never get back!
At this point I have abandoned all hope for a fast Boston Marathon as my mileage has been sparse and I haven't been following anything resembling a training program. The problem is, the way things are currently going, I'm not even sure I'll be in shape to complete the Boston Marathon in one piece. Regardless of how early I manage to wake up on the weekend I am not afforded the time to get in a long run. My wife always wants me back within an hour and while I don't want to call it a guilt trip, I can't convince her that a 2 + hour training run is more important than being available for my son in the mornings.
My wife is not a runner, and she does not get the concept of training. She has told me that I need to be flexible but unfortunately the Boston Marathon course is not going to be flexible with me when race day comes! My wife is with my son all day during the week while I work, so I understand needing a break and her wanting to sleep in, and if this was any other race I'd just change plans. BUT THIS IS BOSTON! You don't qualify for Boston for the first time, register, and then not go! 1st world problems I guess...
Do you live in an area where you can run with a jogging stroller this time of year? That is the only reason I was able to train with a newborn but it was during summer for me.
Otherwise boston happens every year. Your first newborn happens once. Run boston some other time.
We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
#RunEveryDay
It's a tough spot to be in. I get that, but I think this post is right. Either you need to find a third person, grandparent or aunt or someone to help you get those runs in or you let it go. You can qualify again. The road is out there and if you train smart, you'll be running a long time.
Half Fanatic #9292.
Game Admin for RA Running Game 2023.
Do you live in an area where you can run with a jogging stroller this time of year? That is the only reason I was able to train with a newborn but it was during summer for me. Otherwise boston happens every year. Your first newborn happens once. Run boston some other time.
I thought most strollers/doctors recommend that children be at least 6 months or older.
I was in a similar, but slightly different boat. My son was born 1/2 way into my training for my first Boston BQ attempt. I took a week off of running and but continued running.
However, I did about 2 months of training with a newborn. The single thing that helped me, and this is probably too late for you, is a treadmill. We lived very far from our families so having someone watch my son wasn't an option. The treadmill gave me great flexibility, I could run at night when people were sleeping. Or sometimes, I'd put him next to the treadmill while I ran usually during his naps. (far enough away though.) I think the sound created sort of a "white noise" for him. But he was a great napper.
I still did as much as I could to help my wife with feedings, watching him and diapers etc, but thankfully she was a runner and understood that I needed some time to run. Any freetime she gave me was used for running. I also gave her plenty of her own free time.
I did have to cut back on my running...make no mistake. I onlly got 1 20 miler in and 2 runs of 15+. I averaged about 35 MPW.
I did managed to qualify by 4 minutes, but I waited to run Boston until he was a bit older.
But I don't get your wife's complaint have you have to be "available" for your son. You don't need to entertain him at that age. Certainly the both of you don't stare at him all weekend. I get playtime, feedings, diaper changes, etc. But does she ever leave the house with you and the baby alone? Maybe if you could narrow down her complaint...does she want her own free time, does she want a break from her son (which is totally understandable BTW), doe she have things to do? Once you figure out here motivation perhaps you could be creative in helping her solve them and get your long run in one weekend day.
Otherwise, there will be other Bostons.
Old , Ugly and slow
If you have the talent to do it once you can do it again when your kid is older.
I know when my kids were young my running dropped way down.
first race sept 1977 last race sept 2007
2019 goals 1000 miles , 190 pounds , deadlift 400 touch my toes
Thank you all for the great feedback and advice, It definitely puts things into perspective! I love my son and want to be there for him over all else. Unfortunately he's not old enough to be in a jogging stroller, though I ok forward to that opportunity in the future. I will simply do what I can at this point and just enjoy the experience.
Dream Maker
I actually feel like training with a newborn is better than later... they just need more interaction and have more personality and opinions. I found training much easier when my daughter was an infant!
You can get a car seat adapter for a running stroller and run pretty much immediately. I did that starting at 5 weeks old with a JoggerII and an infant car seat adapter. (I waited that long mainly because I had had a c-section.) If they are safe in a fast moving car in the seat, I'm sure they are in the stroller on safe level surface streets. Look into that.
Talk to your wife and figure out the amount of compromise you both can make. You get free time too - it's not all work and parenting.. but then so should she. What does she need? Maybe alternate days where she chooses what she'd like to do in the morning or you choose--- you get Sunday, she gets Saturday and vice versa, and intersperse with the stroller. Hire a mother's helper to come in - if someone is in the house the rates aren't ridiculous if it's very important to you.
I assume the child is under 3 months which does put out of most gym childcare. The YMCA was a lifesaver for me at 3 months.
You make the choice of what to do, and then figure out how to make that be.
I agree with this. I found marathon training easier with a new born than once they got older.
There are 168 hours in a week. Marathon training at the work-a-day hobby-jogger level takes, what, 7-10 hours a week? You do need to be flexible, but that doesn't mean you can't run Boston if you want to. Of course there's nothing wrong with not wanting to right now though, either.
Runners run
Tessa
Congratulations on both qualifying for Boston and on the arrival of your son.
It is very difficult juggling work, a newborn, and any other pursuits such as running. You may need to sit this one out. If you qualified in March of 2014, would that get you into Boston 2016? You may need to postpone Boston for a year, or run it for the experience (it's BOSTON!) and not worry about your time.
You have just under 8 weeks to get some training time in. You may want to experiment with a running stroller, or check out the gym childcare if you're comfortable doing that. However, be aware that if your son is not happy in the childcare room then the staff will come and get you, so you may not be able to get in a long run there either.
So since you are not home with the baby during the day your wife feels that you should be home all weekend to give her a break? That does sound a bit unfair (and this is a mother of two who got very little help from her DH talking) since you are working all week. Could you work out a compromise? One weekend day you get to sleep in or run, one weekend day she gets to sleep in while you take care of the baby. If she's nursing him, a pumped bottle should be on hand so you can feed him. Both of you need some time to do what you want. Make sure to take responsibility for the baby other parts of the weekend, and at least two or three evenings a week, so that your wife gets some time also. And both of you need to be doing housework.
Can you run at lunchtime during the week? Or get up really early, like 4 or 5 AM, to get a run in? How about very early on Saturday morning, and I do mean 2 or 3 AM if necessary? If the baby is still on a 2 AM or so feeding, change him, bring him to your wife to feed if she is nursing or give the baby his bottle if she's not, put him back in his crib, and get out there and run. That was sometimes the only time I had to run when I had infants.
Good luck.
Congrats! Some good advice here.
Misery loves company. I can sympathize, I have infants less than a year apart (a 1 month old and a ~1 yo) and a 7 yo at home, and am training for my first boston. I've missed a day or two of my training but so far have been able to keep it up.
My wife is tolerating it but clearly not thrilled. I just do everything I can to be helpful and minimize the impact on the family. My primary weapon for the long run has been the 4 or 5 a.m. treadmill session. I can usually get in a 2-3 hr run before the 1yo gets up. On the weekends I strategically nap when the babies do (10am until someone wails), and during the week I go to bed around 9pm.
I am a bit stressed about getting in the miles this week; 15 tomorrow, long tempo friday, and 22 on Sunday. And its still icy and sub zero outside. Running is stupid.
But I've decided the only way to deal with it is just like we will the race...one step at a time. Today, I only worry about how to make tomorrow work. (I think I'll get up at 4:30).
Good luck man.
Half Fanatic 12680
Just thought I'd add that if you get to Boston not fully trained, you can still enjoy the experience. When I ran it last year, I had been injured and missed 3 weeks of training in Feb-March and then came down with the flu 3 weeks before the marathon. I got to the start line but knew that I was under-prepared. Then it was a relatively warm, sunny day and I slow down a lot when the temperature gets up to 60. So I decided to just enjoy the day, back off the pace, and high-five every kid I passed. I had a great time.
So do whatever you can before now and then, get yourself to the starting line and just enjoy it. Walk if you have to when it gets rough (you won't be alone) and soak in the crowds and the energy. If you BQd once, you can do it again. This year will just be a course preview for you; next time you'll nail it.
queen of headlamps
The marriage and the newborn have to take priority; I know you know this, and I am completely sympathetic. My son is just under two, and those first few months are rough. It will get better, but running may have to take a backseat for a bit.
I also suspect that it's not so much that your wife thinks you need quality time with the baby, but that she needs to talk to someone who isn't pooping on her, or just a second set of hands.
That said, some tips. I'm the runner and at the moment, the breadwinner, and it's a balance to keep running from overwhelming family life. I also have opted against marathons for the time being; I just can't do the time commitment, so, you know, grain of salt.
1) If the weekly long run is the only time your wife is on baby duty while you're out having a hobby and a life (from her perspective), it might be easier to handle. Try to do the rest of your runs early (I get up at 5AM for my regular easy runs.)
2) Can you start the long run earlier? In our house we end up squabbling less if whatever hobby is being done while everyone else is asleep (see 5AM run) or during general downtime. If you were to start your long run at 6AM, home and showered and ready for the day by 9AM, it would be less of an imposition. (Or, if you took the morning and then ran during naptime. Whatever works.)
3) Trade time. I run on Saturday mornings, early-to-mid morning. The trade is that my husband gets to sleep in on Sundays while the kiddo and I have extra mommy-baby time, church, shopping, etc. If the kid is nursing a lot still, this might be harder, but I bet if you were to trade a long run for her to go out and hang out with a friend/read a book/just do something without a baby on her that would reduce some friction.
Hey, another running blog.
Try to do the rest of your runs early
This is how I made it work too. I got up at 0330 on long run days so I was back in before the sun came up, and 0430 on most other ones. It has actually come in handy this winter with so much snow, the center of the road is the least treacherous. Very little traffic at that time. Hope it works out for everyone.
Rhode Island Road Runners
Holy Crap! 0330 is very early and even though I live in a pretty safe part of town going out that early for a run will lead to more debates with the wife about safety and double standards and being more responsible. (if it sounds like I know this from experience, it's because I do!)