Get Gone

posted: 5/1/2008 at 8:22 PM

My wife and I are both runners. We ran Chicago and our original goal was 4:30. Due to the heat during the race we adjusted that goal and said we'd be fine with 4:45. Ended up with a 5:10 after being made to walk about 3/4 of the last 4 miles. I decided a few weeks ago to run a marathon in my hometown in Aug with a personal goal of 4 hours. It'll be tough and it'll be a stretch for my current fitness level, but I'm setting the bar there. Now, she's decided to do the same marathon and thinks my goal should go back to 4:30...our original Chicago goal. In fact she takes offense at me talking about a 4 hour goal. WTF? How do I tell her that this race is mine. I'm not running it with her. My focus is solely on me and the clock. I'm not going to adjust the race so that I can finish together. I don't think I'm wrong in this. There will be other races that we'll run together and finsih together...this just isn't going to be one of them. Anyway, that's my rant and since it's sort of race related I put it here.

mldrabenstott

posted: 5/1/2008 at 9:20 PM

"Honey, you know I love you. And I love that we share something special together in running. I want to try to train for something more for this one race. It has special meaning to me because it's in my hometown. It would really mean a lot to me if I could have your support as a wife, a friend and a fellow runner to help me reach a new goal. I promise you -- we'll celebrate by finishing our next marathon -- and many more marathons -- together. Can I count on your help?" Then make sure you do something special and memorable for her to thank her. Good luck with the talk and with your quest to break 4:00. Michael

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 5/1/2008 at 9:39 PM

I'd be ticked, too. If my DH were a runner and wanted to run a race there is no way I would expect him to stay at my pace (assuming I was slower), no more than I expect my friends to stick by me. And if he were slower there's no way that I'd be willing to sacrifice my personal best to keep him company. There are thousands of other runners on the course who can do that. It's a RACE, not a fun run.

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

runnerclay

Consistently Slow

posted: 5/1/2008 at 9:57 PM

Good luck on 4:00 in Aug in MS.

Run until the trail runs out.

SCHEDULE 2016--

The pain that hurts the worse is the imagined pain. One of the most difficult arts of racing is learning to ignore the imagined pain and just live with the present pain (which is always bearable.) - Jeff

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JakeKnight

posted: 5/1/2008 at 10:12 PM

This one's a toughie. The bad news - and you ain't gonna like it - is that based on your training, she's probably offering a more realistic goal than you are. 4:30, yeah, probably. 4:15, maybe. 4:00? ... not without doubling your mileage and doing it pretty quick. And then there's the fact that its in August. Not trying to rain on your parade, but if you're going to fight with the spousal unit over it ... I'd want something I know I can do. I'd hate to see you put your foot down on this and then run a 4:30 anyway. How's this - Tell her you're all sensitive and smushy and all that, so you'll compromise and set a 4:15 goal. Chicks dig compromise. I read it in a book. But if she wants to run with you, she needs to HTFU and train harder to meet the same goal. That's her part of the compromise. And then, if I'm unfortunately right (or the heat is too much) and you end up closer to 4:30, you can blame it on her. Which is always good. Tell her you missed her and slowed down to be closer to her loveliness.

E-mail: eric.fuller.mail@gmail.com
-----------------------------

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rectumdamnnearkilledem

posted: 5/1/2008 at 10:16 PM

Can I add that I'm glad my DH and I do different sports for this reason (and because we'd not be able to train together, anyhow).... Wink

Getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to

remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

~ Sarah Kay

Bonkin

posted: 5/2/2008 at 2:00 AM

Quote from JakeKnight on 5/1/2008 at 10:12 PM:

The bad news - and you ain't gonna like it - is that based on your training, she's probably offering a more realistic goal than you are. 4:30, yeah, probably. 4:15, maybe. 4:00? ... not without doubling your mileage and doing it pretty quick. And then there's the fact that its in August. Not trying to rain on your parade, but if you're going to fight with the spousal unit over it ... I'd want something I know I can do. I'd hate to see you put your foot down on this and then run a 4:30 anyway.

I totally agree. Mississippi? August? I'd go with the 4:30 or the 4:15 compromise plan. I would look to another marathon that wasn't too far - where you had real running weather. Rocket City (December) maybe? This would give you more time to safely build up your miles.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Purdey

Self anointed title

posted: 5/2/2008 at 4:29 AM

Quote from JakeKnight on 5/1/2008 at 10:12 PM:

And then, if I'm unfortunately right (or the heat is too much) and you end up closer to 4:30, you can blame it on her. Which is always good. Tell her you missed her and slowed down to be closer to her loveliness.

Marriage guidance from JK - take with caution. Tongue

Jarhead75

posted: 5/2/2008 at 7:34 AM

I would agree with the 4:15 compromise. I plan on running this one in August as well. You are talking about Tupelo right? I have a buddy that has run it in the past and says it is every bit of hot they say it is and the medal has cross bones on it for a reason. I know Mississippi heat in August from being down on the coast and plan on a slower time just because of the heat but who truly knows. I would still spell it out that you want to give it a try but in reality you have some work ahead of you to get that sub 4 in the MS heat. Good luck in dealing with this touchy subject that only you know how to deal with. Runner 262

"You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas" Davy Crockett

jsobo119

posted: 5/2/2008 at 7:45 AM
modified: 5/2/2008 at 7:47 AM

lets say he is at 16-20 miles a week now... and say training ends the last week of july.... with taper into aug... -- that gives him... May June July To train... so he ups his milage 6 miles a week in may to go from 16-20 to 40-44 miles per week. then trains for 8 weeks peaking at 50-60 miles a week. there is no time for rest weeks... and he would have to up his miles 30%, 23% 18% 15% the pace calculators have it such that he "could" run the marathon in about 3:55 if he is well trained... --- hmm... separate the issues... 1.) what your wife thinks or your goal 2.) you goal 1.) Generally I don't understand women. I rather be happy than right so I will refrain from comment on that one... 2.) I think to be well trained enough to pull of 4 hour marathon based on your current miles per week is quite a stretch. I am currently thinking sub 4 myself. Our age/height/weight are similiar. Our race times are close. I started really going after it in nov/dec. when I upped from mid 20's up to 30-35 miles a week. I had some minor injuries along the way... but it took roughly 6 months. I am not saying you couldn't do it... I am just saying if I had to do it again... there was no way I would have been ready to run a marathon sub 4 hours without the last month of training at 50 miles a week. Even now I am doubtfull that 4 hour is realistic (cleveland may 18). I am beginning to appreciate the difference between 30 miles a week, 40 miles a week and 50,... even touched 60... basically you are saying in 3 months of trianing you will be able to repeat your performance at the Frostbite Half Marathon-Starkville twice... back to back... minus roughly 30 seconds a mile... I think goals are great... but perhaps you should just train... and do the best you can and pick a goal pace closer to the marathon.

sully708

My legs are killing me

posted: 5/2/2008 at 7:54 AM

I think at mile 5 of the marathon put the hammer down and leave her in the dust. By the time she reaches the finish line she'll be too tired to bitch at you anyway and you have a shot of hitting your goal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE

JakeKnight

posted: 5/2/2008 at 8:17 AM

Quote from Purdey on 5/2/2008 at 4:29 AM:

Marriage guidance from JK - take with caution.

Just ask my ex-wife.

E-mail: eric.fuller.mail@gmail.com
-----------------------------

Twocat

posted: 5/2/2008 at 8:18 AM

If I read the post right, I think you guys are missing the point which is that she wants to run the race with him. No compromise under 4:30 will do that as she does not think (and probably cannot) finish faster than that. My DW and I both run and run races "together." By together I just mean we travel the same course. We do not even start together. Racing is not a sport that allows most couples to compete side-by-side. Basically, a random guy is a lot faster than a random gal. (Nothing in that, however, means you cannot cheer her into the finish!) Maybe a compromise that involves your training and not racing will work. I typically do one run a week with my DW. I will also pace her in a race once or twice a year. Every couple is different but it works for us.

Live like you are dying not like you are afraid to die.

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mb197314

posted: 5/2/2008 at 9:02 AM

My wife and I both love to run...I am quite a bit faster than her...Sometimes I run my warm up with her then go on and get my miles in...We don't do many races anymore but when we did, she did not expect me to go slower just to run with her...I ran my race and she ran hers...When I would finish, I would double back (since these were all 5K's for her) and run the last .5 - 1 mile with her, offering support and encouragement the entire way... It worked for us...

Get Gone

posted: 5/2/2008 at 9:16 AM

I think the whole point is that I'm not going to align my goal with her goal in this race. My goal is to shoot for 4. I'd be happy with 4:15 and I know I can do better than 4:30. She'll set her goal at 4:30 and in the race she'll hit every mile at that pace to finish at 4:30...it doesn't matter if during the race she feels good and can let the hammer drop some. She's going to stick with the pace to reach 4:30 and never waiver. I think therein lies my annoyance. As a runners, we just have different personalities. I'll kill myself trying to reach a goal and if I crash and burn, I crash and burn and I'll deal with it. She just sets the bar lower. The sad thing is, she could be a better runner than me if she would just push herself more. She's a lot more cardiovascular fit due to her aerobic instructor job and her schedule that is more conducive to effective training. But yes it is the Tupelo Marathon Aug. 31. It'll probably be ridiculously hot, however two years ago it was 50 degrees at the 5AM start so you never know. If I get up that AM and it's already 70 I'm pretty sure I'll be closer to 4:15 or 4:30.

A rant regarding marathon goal (Read 853 times)

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