Does your family support your running? (Read 1715 times)

I feel like this is a never ending battle in my house. I'm looking for ways to get the point across to my husband that running is not going to kill me. I know I've brought it up here on RA many times before, but once again issues have flared up at home in regards to my mileage. Does anyone else have a spouse or SO that doesn't support their running 100%? My husband runs, but he views anything more than 3 or 4 miles as being unhealthy and pointless. He thinks that running will lead to our bodies falling apart. I'm getting tired of having to defend myself when I run more than what he considers a "normal" distance. I'm getting close to the point of giving up on anything more than 5k races just to keep from having to hear him be so negative. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to understand, or accept my running? Has anyone been through this and eventually gotten the unsupportive SO to be supportive?

My family supports my running but they don't "get it". I guess they just can't relate to it. If I hit a PR or run a distance I haven't before and I'm pumped up to tell them I get the reaction "oh that's nice". Later on in the year I'll be running my first marathon and I know they don't understand what a big deal that is and what a big event it is for some families to be there for support. To them it's just another race.

I really don't even understand this phenomenon. I guess I would if you were running 100 mile weeks and neglecting work or family, but not at any normal levels of running. Running makes you fitter, happier, sexier, slimmer, healthier ... all around a better person to be around. Undoubtedly you're a better wife and mother because of it (correct me if that assumption's wrong, but I doubt it will be). You could be gambling or playing video games or watching television - instead you're making yourself live longer and better. And hawter. Let's not forget hawter. What's not to like? An armchair psychologist might wonder if there weren't some other issues at play. Jealousy, maybe?

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to understand, or accept my running? Has anyone been through this and eventually gotten the unsupportive SO to be supportive?

Sure - here's a suggestion. Quit running. Gain 20 pounds. Be grouchy all the time. Use your running time to watch television. Be as moody as possible. (If you're like most of us, this'll be pretty easy when you're not running). See how long it takes before he tells you to please go run. When it happens, make him agree - in writing - to keep his trap shut in the future.

My wife is pretty supportive, which is understandable given that if I wasn't a runner we (a) would never have met, (b) wouldn't have a good engagement story, and (c) she'd have to find a different way to pay for law school than by having her husband support her (given the whole never met thing). My wife doesn't run as much as she did because she's busy and hasn't made it a priority, but she doesn't mind my running. She gets a little resentful I think sometimes, but she doesn't say anything about it. The closest to critical that she becomes is warning me that if I want to run a 100 mile race I need to do it before we have kids. You need to put your foot down and tell your husband that this is a decision that you've made, that you are not going to back down, and that you don't want to hear about it anymore or he'll be sleeping on the couch. Withholding sex may or may not work.

My husband didn't know me when I was in HS so he can't relate to how important running was for me back then. He only knows that I didn't run for 13 years after HS and now I run "all the time". Some people say that my husband is jealous but I don't think that's it. He's beaten me in a few races (5k), and I have a feeling that he could beat me now, if he would race with me again. I sometimes worry about the resentful aspect of it. There are times when I change my schedule around to allow more time for running, maybe that annoys him more than he admits. I have put my foot down, sort of. I'm still running! And, although he wanted me to not run another marathon, I'm doing that (two more actually). But the price to pay for me is that I have to become numb to his negative comments, and I'm trying, but some days they just cut through me. Oh....Withholding sex !?! Why would I want to punish myself too? I'm greedy I want both.

I really don't even understand this phenomenon. I guess I would if you were running 100 mile weeks and neglecting work or family, but not at any normal levels of running. Running makes you fitter, happier, sexier, slimmer, healthier ... all around a better person to be around. Undoubtedly you're a better wife and mother because of it (correct me if that assumption's wrong, but I doubt it will be). You could be gambling or playing video games or watching television - instead you're making yourself live longer and better. And hawter. Let's not forget hawter. What's not to like? An armchair psychologist might wonder if there weren't some other issues at play. Jealousy, maybe? Sure - here's a suggestion. Quit running. Gain 20 pounds. Be grouchy all the time. Use your running time to watch television. Be as moody as possible. (If you're like most of us, this'll be pretty easy when you're not running). See how long it takes before he tells you to please go run. When it happens, make him agree - in writing - to keep his trap shut in the future.

I sooooooooo agree with Jake!!!! LOVE HIS ADVICE as to what to do !!!!

Denise gets that I will disapear for a period on the weekends to go run and is ok with my running unless: the kids are in a bad mood, the sink is filled with dirty dishes, the laundry is piling up, the gutters need cleaning, the lawn needs mowing... there is a danger of injury involved with marathon training but it is still there (to a lesser degree) for 5k running too.

I try to plan long runs for when it won't impact the family but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I work full time, I keep up with the housework, and I do most of the yard work so the only thing left for him to complain about is the moods of the kids, and trust me, this is a biggie. If the kids are particulary annoying that day I will wait and run on the treadmill once they've gone to bed. The dangers of running are what he focuses on, never the benefits.

Some people say that my husband is jealous but I don't think that's it. He's beaten me in a few races (5k), and I have a feeling that he could beat me now, if he would race with me again.

It may not be about you running faster than him. He could be jealous over the time you spend away from the house. Or that you're making new friends while you run. Or that you've got an activity that is yours and yours alone. Unless there is a real, concrete reason that he thinks you're hurting yourself (like a prior injury), I think it's safe to say he's jealous.

Sure - here's a suggestion. Quit running. Gain 20 pounds. Be grouchy all the time. Use your running time to watch television. Be as moody as possible. (If you're like most of us, this'll be pretty easy when you're not running). See how long it takes before he tells you to please go run. When it happens, make him agree - in writing - to keep his trap shut in the future.

If I did that, I would be willing to bet all the money in the world that he would head out to the local running store and buy me brand new shoes, then call up all my running friends and schedule weekly runs for the next year. As for being grouchy, I can do that. Also, taking over the TV would make this even more urgent, especially if I time it for during football season.