do you think i'm crazy too? (Read 941 times)

Ok...I don't want this to turn into a heated discussion, but many of you are very health conscious individuals and I value all your opinions. So a little intro - I am 27 and have drastically changed my lifestyle over the last few years. I dropped 40 pounds, started running, and started eating better/healthier. My husband and I want to start a family soon, but we have MANY reservations. One such reservation is the probability (or rather, possibility) of having a child who may be mentally or physically handicapped in some way. I am trying to be VERY P.C. here, but I do have a few family members with different physical and mental handicaps. I know no one wishes to give birth to a child who will be challenged for their entire life. If the problems in my family are genetic, then it is what it is, but I cannot help but feel that many of the handicaps we see in children today MIGHT be from environmental things. I know there are issues about vaccines, hormones in meat, etc. So, my husband and I decided that if we are going to start a famly (we cannot afford to adopt - period), we would like to make a good effort at trying to make our bodies as "chemical or crap free" as possible. I figure this is probably the only thing environmentally that we have complete control over. Therefore, I came off the Pill (to get all those synthetic hormones out of me), I am switching to as much organic produce and meats as I can find (its not easy!), I have already stopped eating any tuna or sushi, and all other medications will be weened out of our systems as quickly as possible. We have consulted physicians (my husband is on 2 anti-anxiety and anti-depressants, so its very tricky) to help us through this as well. I am expecting to not even start trying for a family until early next year (I think it will take that long for hubby to come off his meds and be fully adjusted). I figure this will give us enough time to be as "cleansed" as possible. And since I'm already off the pill, if an "accident" happens - then it is what it is. we will be excited either way. Everyone in my family thinks we are being crazy - am I? Is it over the top to think that I might be able to decrease the chances of having a handicapped child by making my body as healthy and natural as possble? I would also like to note that I believe I will be given the child I am supposed to have - if that includes someone who will be challenged, that thats what it is. I have total faith that what happens is for a reason, but I still want to try to help the situation along as much as I can. All opinions are valued - thank you!

I don't think you're crazy but I do recommend that you talk to your OB/GYN. I believe there are some tests that you can do before you try to conceive to rule out or define certain genetic risks. Maybe your doctor can give you some insight into specific linkages if there are any between certain health factors and risk of birth defects. From our discussions with doctors after my wife became pregnant with our youngest, the main risk factor was maternal age beyond a certain point. I hope things work out for you.

I would definitely talk with your doctors more about this, especially regarding your husband's medications. I am assuming he is on his antianxiety and antidepressants for a reason. This reason might become a big issue should he come off the mediations! Also, do some research and/or ask your doc to do it for you; from what my doctor has told me, there are not too many things that will make a difference on his end (as far as "healthy and chemical free" sperm goes). Unfortunately, I have been told the ball is mostly in the female court as far as being careful with diet, exercise, and chemical exposure. If your husband is healthy otherwise but has a reason to be on his meds, I would seriously reconsider taking him off them...of course, this needs to be between him and his doctor, also.

Ditto. For him to go off his meds may offer no benefit to a conceived child, but could cause needless difficulties for your hubby. I would definitely find out what your doc's take is. But other than that I think your plan is sound. Eating foods as close to natural is generally not a bad idea. Simply cutting out processed stuff is a good plan--sticking to the outside perimeter of the grocery store where the whole foods are. Good luck with it all! I know you guys will be great parents. You're already looking out for your baby's needs and you'll instill a love of fitness in him/her, too.

So much of having a baby is random and has very little to do with the health and habits of the parents - tons of healthy babies are born to abusers and unhealthy people, and lots of babies born to very healthy people end up with significant issues.

While in general this may seem to be true, the health of the mother is extremely important to the developing fetus. My husband is a researcher in a lab that studies gestational diabetes and was recently at their annual international research seminar. We have two pregnant family members and in our discussions just yesterday he told us all that it's becoming increasingly obvious to people doing research that the fetal environment is extremely important to what will be the ongoing health of the child throughout it's entire life. A mother that exercises, has relatively lean body mass will provide a very healthy fetal environment for the developing fetus. Obviously, if there are genetic problems being passed on by the parents, those problems won't be repaired during development, however, it's now clear that the fetal environment can affect the expression of genes (I'll come back with a link and the correct terminology and update this). Most hospitals should have some genetic counselors available to consult with parents who have any concerns about possible gene-based issues.

I have considered genetic testing, but I know what runs in my family is not genetic, or cannot be found genetically. I have an aunt with Asberger's, my brother with some "unknown" highly functional mental handicap, and a cousin we all swear has fetal alcohol syndrome (undiagnosed) mixed with some autism. so they are all essentially unrelated. as for my hubby - i don't think coming off his meds is a good idea, but he is pretty adamant about it so far. I think he just wants to make some kind of effort as well. we are under his doctors care for this. and while the doc also doesnt think its necessary (I know the men dont contribute too much to the helthy fetal environment) she is still willing to give it a try. i personally dont think it will last long for the hubby - his irritabililty is already getting hard to manage and its only been a week on a slightly lower dose! so i'm sure this idea will be short lived and it will be all up to me. thanks though for reassuring me - like i said, the family thinks we're going crazy. I know having a healthy baby is a "random" occurance, but when you have family members like mine mentioned above, its sometimes a little harder to believe that it IS totally random. I keep repeating the words "just have faith" in my head

I won't repeat what's already been said but you're certainly not crazy for wanting to create a healthy environment for a pregancy and baby. But you can make yourself a little crazy if you worry TOO much. My wife had a terrible seizure shortly after our 2nd child and had to go on anti-seizure medication for the rest of her life. We had always planned on a 3rd child but now the risk of birth defects went up a little - she could not come off that medication. We certainly had reservations about what the meds might do and what the pregnancy could do to my wife. We went through a lot with the decision but by talking to the doctor and researching, we finally decided to go for it and were comfortable with the level of risk. We had our third healthy girl. She was born without a working thyroid but that was a completely random thing not related to the anti-seizure med. She takes a pill every day and is a perfectly happy, healthy toddler today. We've been told she'll be tested for learning diabilities when she's at Kindergarten age but so far, she's further ahead in every benchmark/milestone than her two older sisters. It can be a very emotional thing but just listen to your heart and don't let your brain overanalyze things too much. Based on how much thought and care you're putting into this, your baby, regardless of possible challenges, will be one lucky kid. And the rewards are tremendous. You have no idea how much love you're capable of until you have a child.

I think what is making it so hard for us to imagine dealing with a child with disabilities is having to see it every day in my brother, and like i already said, he is HIGHLY functional. but still - he gets teased, will probably never hold a decent job on his own, will probably never live on his own, and unfortunately got lost in the schools system somewhat despite my mom's constant determination not to let him get lost. the stress his everyday life puts on my parents is unmeasurable. but you just do it. i could go on and on about this topic, but I dont want it to turn into some long rant about disabled children and how they come to be. so thanks again for supporting my decision to try and take matters into my own hands (as much as I possibly could). its probably just going to be for my own peace of mind, but every little thing could help!

Perhaps you've already read this, but this might ease one of your fears slightly. http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/concerns/thimerosal.htm