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Eating disorder confusion (Read 879 times)

yellowrunning


    Ok bearing the soul a little here but... Undecided I am recovering from an eating disorder.. I have gained a lot of weight and finally feel healthy enough mentally to begin to let go of the extra weight. I am comfortable with that but the problem is, counting calories can still be a trigger for me. I tend to get kinda OCD abou it. I have found I'm ok if I'm just keeping track but the minute I try to set a goal for myself BAM! I can feel it coming on. That being said, I really do need to find someway to get healthy with the food that I eat. I know to avoid a lot of sugar and fat but I don't feel like I can get healthy with just trying to limit certain foods cuz that's not healthy for me either. Roll eyes Please understand I'm really trying to get to a healthy place and I've been seeing a counselor about all the stuff but I just get a little confused on how to get healthy without jeopardizing all the progress that I've made...me and food haven't exactly had the best relationship so far in life... Any suggestions?
      I am guessing you should continue to see your counselor, and perhaps you should see your Primary Care physician and get a referral to a good Nutritionist that can professionally get/keep you on the right track.. As much as we all want to help people (anyone) it seem you should seek professional help to make sure you are on the right track.....use us for moral support... Good luck..... Big grin

      Champions are made when no one is watching

      Katie H


      Chicago winter running

        Agree with John. Ask your counselor (who I'm assuming is an ED specialist) for a referral to a nutriontist who has experience with people recovering from/ dealing with ED. Having those people set up a program for you and having someone check on your progress will help a lot and will take away some of your anxiety about figuring it out on your own, as well as keep you from relapsing and picking up some of your old habits out of stress. Good luck and find a nutritionist! “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Mother-Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:25-27: MTA: spelling
        We must speak with all the humility that is appropriate to our limited vision, but we must speak. - MLK Jr.
          Boy, do I know where your coming from Blush. The only thing that helps me is thinking about what I eat before eating and asking myself how that particular meal will make me feel, both physically and emotionally. For example: I want chips, but I know that they offer zero nutrition and will make me feel bad about myself, so I try to choose something else that will satisfy the taste I'm looking for and also offer a nutrional punch. DON'T COUNT CALORIES. That's great in theory for others but not EVERYBODY. Be careful as you begin to lose weight again you will have a hard fight ahead of you not to take it to extremes, (this comes from a person who ran on a broken foot just to burn calories) Maybe you could see a nutrionist or use a website that offers the correct balance of everything you need in a day and you can follow that. Like www.mypyramid.gov, there they will outline, carbs, fiber, calories, fat, etc..and let you make sure you are meeting your nutrional goals and not just restricting yourself. Sorry, I'm not much help, but I really dont' know life without worrying about this stuff, so I really hope you can find some peace with it. Smile
          Goals: Maintain 120 beat 5k time: 25:52 beat 10k time: 55:48 Complete one half-marathon-Jan. 10th
          yellowrunning


            Sorry, I'm not much help, but I really dont' know life without worrying about this stuff, so I really hope you can find some peace with it. Smile You are a great help! Thanks. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. Shy
            yellowrunning


              “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Mother-Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:25-27: MTA: spelling You know, I've studied this verse a million times and never looked at it quite like that before. Hmmm...Thanks! Smile


              A Saucy Wench

                Ok bearing the soul a little here but... Undecided I am recovering from an eating disorder.. I have gained a lot of weight and finally feel healthy enough mentally to begin to let go of the extra weight. I am comfortable with that but the problem is, counting calories can still be a trigger for me. I tend to get kinda OCD abou it. I have found I'm ok if I'm just keeping track but the minute I try to set a goal for myself BAM! I can feel it coming on. That being said, I really do need to find someway to get healthy with the food that I eat. I know to avoid a lot of sugar and fat but I don't feel like I can get healthy with just trying to limit certain foods cuz that's not healthy for me either. Roll eyes Please understand I'm really trying to get to a healthy place and I've been seeing a counselor about all the stuff but I just get a little confused on how to get healthy without jeopardizing all the progress that I've made...me and food haven't exactly had the best relationship so far in life... Any suggestions?
                My ED is binge eating disorder so my strategies may not help you, but might give you some ideas. One of the things that has worked for me in the past when fighting it is to allow myself to eat certain foods with no counting or tracking (lean meats, veggies, some fruit) and only track or count the other foods. So I might do something like try and limit my "extras" to 300 calories or 1 per day etc. Often viewing things in terms of "servings" is easier for me than calories. 3 fruits. 1 sweet. 9 veggies. 3 lean protein. etc. Or to keep only healthy foods in the house - while I have been known to binge on healthy foods, it isnt as frequent or as damaging when it does happen (although the day I binged on a full 2# bag of carrots made for an interesting 24 hours Shocked), but allow myself anything I really want in a single serving eaten out of the house. I dont often binge in public so if I go to the icecream store to get icecream, even when I am in binge mania, I wont do worse than maybe a double scoop. Even just documenting how I am feeling when I feel it coming on, even when I cant stop it is often helpful in learning more about what my triggers are. It took me a long time to realize that there is something about a simple bowl of healthy cereal and milk that can be a major trigger for me. I see you have a counselor. For more extra support I am going to point you to http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/ 3fatchicks is a weight loss community. In the forums section you will find an area called "Chicks in Control" This is a sub forum specifically for people battling and conquering eating disorders. There you will find people who share your specific ED and will be able to offer more tricks and tips and also give you a place to post and share and get support from people who truly understand what you are going through. (Cause if I hear one more person tell me to just "stop eating" Roll eyes )

                I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets

                 

                "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7

                lostinthenet3


                MM#1869

                  Yellow best of luck. As a person who was Super mobidly obese and has his own Ed. I wish you the best. I Did see a nutrionist and I still do. For me it's a daily struggle and It is hard. I don't have any answers. I draw some support from Obesityhelp. and Quixoticwls. But I log every thing and try to take one day at a time. Food is my drug of choice and it's some times very hard. Hope you find your answers sorry I don't have any. Doug.

                  "If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run."


                  Best Present Ever

                    I've found weight watchers core (not the more common flex) plan to be extremely liberating. I'm not really a big fan of weight watchers so I've been surprised by how much I like this. On the Core plan, you have a large list of foods: all fruits and veggies, lean meats, legumes, non fat dairy, eggs, tofu, whole grains (but not bread or crackers). From these foods, you can basically eat all you want. No counting, no portions, few limits. After trying to move lose an additional 10 pounds for a year with success, I've lost 7 pounds (from 133 to 126) since July. There is a small amount of counting (there are a few more picky rules that require some counting/measuring plus you get extra "points" to spend as you like on non-core foods that require measuring/counting) but very little. And I feel so happy to just EAT when I'm hungry ... having said that, I didn't really have an eating disorder so I don't know if this would be helpful for you. Volumetrics is the same principle, though I haven't read the book;


                    The Greatest of All Time

                      ED sufferer here too. As everyone else suggested continue to see your counselor. You may also want to look into a prescription medication for the OCD so talk to your PCP. It took me a long time to accept food was not the enemy. I logged every calorie I ate for 2 years and wouldn't ever eat out because I didn't know how much I was eating. And the ironic thing is that I was not anywhere near overweight but had been. I developed an ED that I don't want to discuss here and coupled with exercise I lost a ton of weight and got really fit again. But I still had to deal with my food phobia. It took a long time, but I still read every label before I buy or eat it. That will never stop and I have just learned to accept it. I still have weird eating habits, but I am healthy and have a good relationship with food. My ED will always be there lurking however and you just have to learn to not give in to it and act out. It sounds like you should seek some nutrition counseling from a professional if you don't really know what to eat. Be careful about soliciting advice on internet forums for such a personal and individual problem. We can offer encouragement and support but only you and your health care providers can truly fix the problem. But at least you have recognized it exists because that's the hardest part. Once you have it identified solving it just takes methodical discipline. You will beat this. Good luck.
                      all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be

                      Obesity is a disease. Yes, a disease where nothing tastes bad...except salads.
                      celiacChris


                      3Days4Cure

                        Good for you to know calories are a trigger--you obviously have a counselor who is on the ball and has helped you a lot. Given that, I am +1 on getting a referral by your counselor to a good nutritionist, who can then set up a meal plan/something that works for you. I would also keep track of things that cause you problems and bring them up to your counselor and nutritionist. Kudos to you for having the courage to do this, it's a delicate balancing act between healthy eating and relapse. I know from experience--I'm lucky that certain foods trigger me, so I avoid those at all costs (I am recovering from the binge side of things), so I know how tough triggers can be. Chris

                        Chris
                        PRs: 27:26 5k/ 49:52 5mi/ 58:17 10k/ 2:09:24 half/ 5:13:17 Full

                        Post-Bipolar PRs: 38:35 5k/ 1:09:34 8k/ 1:09:39 5mi/ 1:33:03 10k/ 3:20:40 Half

                         

                        2022 Goals

                        Back to 10k

                         


                        dork.major dork.

                          Another person in recovery: restricter (calorie counter), running as calorie-deficit creator, EDNOS. I basically don't think I will ever be able to go back to calorie counting, it is just too slippery a slope. I also have to be really careful not to get too hungry because when i feel that deep gnawing emptiness, it is a physical sensation that I'm addicted to, and that pulls me into a negative thought spiral. For me, it's really hard because my weight doesn't reflect how healthy I am. I used restriction and running to lose weight in a really unhealthy way -- I felt crappy all the time, but was never an "unhealthy" weight. So, now that I would like to lose weight, and refuse to feel crappy, I don't know which side of which line I'm on and how to evaluate my own progress... Really liberating to see so many people here who I know from around RA who are brave enough to stand up and talk about this. I agree with what most others have said here. I made a lot of progress through looking at "Intuitive Eating" (which is similar to what Chloe was talking about), and I also have found a lot of emotional support at something-fishy.org on their forums. Also: If people think that an ED Recovery Support User Group would be useful here on RA, I would step up as a moderator/group owner -- though I have no real clue what that would entail. MTA: spelling/grammar

                          Reaching 1,243 in 2008 -- one day, one week, one mile at a time.

                          yellowrunning


                            Thanks everyone. I agree with everyone and I am going to talk with a nutritionist. My counselor (who is amazing!!) has someone that she works with so I'm going to set up an appt with them. I know that I can't take "medical advice" from people on here but really I just want to know that I'm not alone in this. That other people have struggled with it and have come out on top or maybe that they are struggling with it but winning. I know that I can do it. Nothing about recovery has been easy yet so I wouldn't expect this to be BUT I know that I can do it. I will find a balance somewhere and find the peace with food that I haven't experienced yet. I know I can do it! Thank you everyone who is willing to be so brave and offer your encouragement and suggestions to me. I really appreciate it all! Blush
                            pitrunner


                              I definitely agree with all the others on seeing a nutritionist (although seeing mine was always my most dreaded part of my treatment program). But, I just wanted to let you know one small thing that has helped me: eating a lot of fiber. This may seem unhealthy to some, but knowing that I am "getting rid" of food in a natural, healthy way, sort of takes my crazies away. The fiber also fills you up longer and takes the focus off of "what am I going to eat next" (at least for me).
                              Another person in recovery: restricter (calorie counter), running as calorie-deficit creator, EDNOS. I basically don't think I will ever be able to go back to calorie counting, it is just too slippery a slope. I also have to be really careful not to get too hungry because when i feel that deep gnawing emptiness, it is a physical sensation that I'm addicted to, and that pulls me into a negative thought spiral. For me, it's really hard because my weight doesn't reflect how healthy I am. I used restriction and running to lose weight in a really unhealthy way -- I felt crappy all the time, but was never an "unhealthy" weight. So, now that I would like to lose weight, and refuse to feel crappy, I don't know which side of which line I'm on and how to evaluate my own progress... Really liberating to see so many people here who I know from around RA who are brave enough to stand up and talk about this. I agree with what most others have said here. I made a lot of progress through looking at "Intuitive Eating" (which is similar to what Chloe was talking about), and I also have found a lot of emotional support at something-fishy.org on their forums. Also: If people think that an ED Recovery Support User Group would be useful here on RA, I would step up as a moderator/group owner -- though I have no real clue what that would entail. MTA: spelling/grammar
                              I related to your post so much, I'm glad you shared. I would definitely be interested in a group as long as it was closed Blush


                              A Saucy Wench

                                I was going to add....what I need is to have an arsenal of techniques. Because my binge mode is self-sabotage driven. Anytime I feel like I am "getting good" with a technique...whammo. I often have to go radically the opposite direction to regain control. Also to accept improvement, not perfection.

                                I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets

                                 

                                "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7

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